Compulsive hoarding damages house structures, threatens safety and health, drains bank accounts, and estranges a hoarder from the rest of society. It goes way beyond just saving stuff. It goes deeper than just being a pack-rat. It is a very real disorder, and it affects more than the hoarder. In this brief memoir, Melissa shares her struggles growing up as the daughter of a hoarder, her reality TV experience and the events that followed, and her journey through the therapy she did not realize she needed. "Validate Me! (How my mom's hoarding kind of messed me up.)" opens your eyes to the most important "things" that get destroyed under the piles.
Growing up with a hoarder can be a confusing, painful, and sometimes dangerous experience. And when it comes to finding help for a hoarder parent, many adult children find themselves taking on the exhausting role of caretaker. As the child of a hoarder, you may be wondering what resources are available to you. Written by nationally recognized obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) expert Fugen Neziroglu, a regular on the popular TLC television series, Hoarders, Children of Hoarders explores strategies for communicating with hoarder parents and outlines practical intervention skills. In addition, the book shows readers how to let go of the personal shame and guilt associated with being the child of a hoarder. Using mindfulness, acceptance, assertiveness and validation skills, this is the first book written specifically for adult children of hoarders that focuses on the interpersonal effects of hoarding. Inside, you will learn to communicate with your loved ones in a way that minimizes conflict, while still dealing with the logistical and organizational issues that arise when living with or witnessing hoarding behavior. The book also includes tips for reclaiming living space, strategies for ensuring that the health and safety of residents is not compromised by the hoarder’s living conditions, and organizational tactics for sorting through the clutter after the death of a parent who hoards. As the child of a hoarder, sometimes it can be helpful to know that you are not alone. In Children of Hoarders, you will get the support that you need to deal with your hoarder parent, and reclaim your own life in the process.
Judy Batalion grew up in a house filled with endless piles of junk, obsessively gathered and stored by her hoarder mother. The first chance she had, she escaped the clutter to create a new identity - one made of order, regimen and clean white walls. Until, one day, she found herself enmeshed in life's biggest chaos: motherhood. Told with heartbreaking honesty and humour, this is Judy's poignant account of her trials negotiating the messiness of motherhood and the indelible marks that mothers and daughters make on each other's lives.
A fascinating look at compulsive hoarding by a woman whose mother suffers from the disease. To be the child of a compulsive hoarder is to live in a permanent state of unease. Because if my mother is one of those crazy junk-house people, then what does that make me? When her divorced mother was diagnosed with cancer, New York City writer Jessie Sholl returned to her hometown of Minneapolis to help her prepare for her upcoming surgery and get her affairs in order. While a daunting task for any adult dealing with an aging parent, it’s compounded for Sholl by one lifelong, complex, and confounding truth: her mother is a compulsive hoarder. Dirty Secret is a daughter’s powerful memoir of confronting her mother’s disorder, of searching for the normalcy that was never hers as a child, and, finally, cleaning out the clutter of her mother’s home in the hopes of salvaging the true heart of their relationship—before it’s too late. Growing up, young Jessie knew her mother wasn’t like other mothers: chronically disorganized, she might forgo picking Jessie up from kindergarten to spend the afternoon thrift store shopping. Now, tracing the downward spiral in her mother’s hoarding behavior to the death of a long-time boyfriend, she bravely wades into a pathological sea of stuff: broken appliances, moldy cowboy boots, twenty identical pairs of graying bargain-bin sneakers, abandoned arts and crafts, newspapers, magazines, a dresser drawer crammed with discarded eyeglasses, shovelfuls of junk mail . . . the things that become a hoarder’s “treasures.” With candor, wit, and not a drop of sentimentality, Jessie Sholl explores the many personal and psychological ramifications of hoarding while telling an unforgettable mother-daughter tale.
Although the much-satirized image of a house overflowing with National Geographics and infested with cats may make us chuckle, the reality of compulsive hoarding is no laughing matter. The most common reason for evictions in the US and a significant risk factor for fatal house fires, compulsive hoarding is a treatable condition related to obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is characterized by the acquisition of possessions that have little or no value, which the sufferer, often referred to as the saver, has great difficulty discarding. This book, the first ever written for savers and their families, provides an overview of compulsive hoarding and how it relates to obsessive-compulsive disorder. It discusses hoarding broadly, offering readers perspectives on the physical, behavioral, and value-oriented aspects of the condition. You can use its assessment tools to help decide why you or your loved one hoards. Skill-building exercises help you determine how to beat the hoarding problem by addressing issues that often underlie compulsive saving. Even though this is fundamentally a self-help book, it contains a frank discussion about the need for professional help in some hoarding cases, how to find it, and what medications have been proven effective for savers.
Everyone has a secret. But Lucy's is bigger and dirtier than most. It's one she's been hiding for years-that her mom's out-of-control hoarding has turned their lives into a world of garbage and shame. She's managed to keep her home life hidden from her best friend and her crush, knowing they'd be disgusted by the truth. So, when her mom dies suddenly in their home, Lucy hesitates to call 911 because revealing their way of life would make her future unbearable-and she begins her two-day plan to set her life right. With details that are as fascinating as they are disturbing, C. J. Omololu weaves an hour-by-hour account of Lucy's desperate attempt at normalcy. Her fear and isolation are palpable as readers are pulled down a path from which there is no return, and the impact of hoarding on one teen's life will have readers completely hooked.
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
The New York Times bestseller. “Gripping . . . By turns fascinating and heartbreaking . . . Stuff invites readers to reevaluate their desire for things.”—Boston Globe “Amazing . . . utterly engrossing . . . Read it.”—The Washington Post Book World What possesses someone to save every scrap of paper that’s ever come into his home? What compulsions drive a person to sacrifice her marriage or career for an accumulation of seemingly useless things? Randy Frost and Gail Steketee were the first to study hoarding when they began their work a decade ago. They didn’t expect that they would end up treating hundreds of patients and fielding thousands of calls from the families of hoarders. Their vivid case studies (reminiscent of Oliver Sacks) in Stuff show how you can identify a hoarder—piles on sofas and beds that make the furniture useless, houses that can be navigated only by following small paths called goat trails, vast piles of paper that the hoarders “churn” but never discard, even collections of animals and garbage—and illuminate the pull that possessions exert over all of us. Whether we’re savers, collectors, or compulsive cleaners, very few of us are in fact free of the impulses that drive hoarders to extremes. “Authoritative, haunting, and mysterious. It is also intensely, not to say compulsively readable.”—Tracy Kidder, Pulitzer Prize-winning author “Fascinating . . . a good mix of cultural and psychological theories on hoarding.”—Newsweek “Pioneering researchers offer a superb overview of a complex disorder that interferes with the lives of more than six-million Americans . . . An absorbing, gripping, important report.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
