Vacuuming in the Nude
Vacuuming in the Nude

Author: Peggy Rowe

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2022-08-16

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13: 1637631006

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Peggy Rowe is at it again—this time giving a hilarious inside look at her writing career. Peggy Rowe has been writing all of her adult life. In fact, she doesn’t know how not to write—even through those years of constant rejection from publishing houses. But between her tenacity and the encouragement of her family, Peggy’s breakthrough finally came—at the age of eighty! Vacuuming in the Nude is most likely her funniest prose to date as she shares her journey of attending myriad writers’ conferences and honing her ability to see humor in everyday situations. From the family’s beloved dog Shim, who thrived on piles of fresh, warm manure from the horse pasture—to vacationing on the sweltering beach with mosquitos the size of dune buggies—to the challenges of aging, Peggy Rowe delivers a hilarious array of stories that reflect her addiction to making people laugh. Even in her cancer support group, she manages to use her humor to affect others for the good. If Peggy isn’t putting her publisher on hold to finish a game of Mahjongg, she’s at her kitchen table window-on-the-world taking notes for the next story for fans old and new to enjoy.

About My Mother
About My Mother

Author: Peggy Rowe

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2018-11-13

Total Pages: 255

ISBN-13: 1948677172

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A Message from Mike Rowe, the Dirty Jobs Guy: Just to be clear, About My Mother is a book about my grandmother, written by my mother. That’s not to say it’s not about my mother—it is. In fact, About My Mother is as much about my mother as it is about my grandmother. In that sense, it’s really a book about “mothers.” …It is not, however, a book written by me. True, I did write the foreword. But it doesn’t mean I’ve written a book about my mother. I haven’t. Nor does it mean my mother’s book is about her son. It isn’t. It’s about my grandmother. And my mother. Just to be clear.—Mike A love letter to mothers everywhere, About My Mother will make you laugh and cry—and see yourself in its reflection. Peggy Rowe’s story of growing up as the daughter of Thelma Knobel is filled with warmth and humor. But Thelma could be your mother—there’s a Thelma in everyone’s life. She’s the person taking charge—the one who knows instinctively how things should be. Today, Thelma would be described as an alpha personality, but while growing up, her daughter Peggy saw her as a dictator—albeit a benevolent, loving one. They clashed from the beginning—Peggy, the horse-crazy tomboy, and Thelma, the genteel-yet-still-controlling mother, committed to raising two refined, ladylike daughters. Good luck. When major league baseball came to town in the early 1950s and turned sophisticated Thelma into a crazed Baltimore Orioles groupie, nobody was more surprised and embarrassed than Peggy. Life became a series of compromises—Thelma tolerating a daughter who pitched manure and galloped the countryside, while Peggy learned to tolerate the whacky Orioles fan who threw her underwear at the television, shouted insults at umpires, and lived by the orange-and-black schedule taped to the refrigerator door. Sometimes it takes a little distance to appreciate the people we love.

Understanding Women
Understanding Women

Author: Charles William Smith

Publisher: TCU Press

Published: 1998

Total Pages: 364

ISBN-13: 9780875651897

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And James has more to learn than why we love and how we earn a mate both deserved and deserving. He's coming of age in a pivotal year in an era of repression and transition.

Stuck Up!
Stuck Up!

Author: Rich E. Dreben

Publisher: Macmillan + ORM

Published: 2011-11-08

Total Pages: 226

ISBN-13: 1429985038

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A very funny collection of 100 X-ray images showing foreign objects ingested or inserted into human bodies, accidentally or on purpose. The human imagination truly knows no limits. Without it, there would be no great art, no advances in science and technology, and no extreme sports. Without it, we'd also be deprived of the many insights into human nature that we get out of witnessing other people do shockingly imprudent things and then try to rationalize them. Stuck Up! capitalizes on this human capability of coming up with creative applications for everyday (and not-so everyday) items way beyond their designated uses, and features 100 X-ray images of foreign objects inserted into human bodies, accidentally or on purpose. "It was a million-to-one shot, Doc." "My hands were full." "I fell." These and many other ludicrous excuses are what emergency room doctors hear every day from patients who check in with various items inserted where the sun don't shine, stuck in various orifices, or ingested in other ways. How exactly did that cell phone end up there? Was it on vibrate? And is the rectum truly the best place to store your bronzed baby shoes? It is at least somewhat understandable to find a rectal thermometer in its intended place, but how about your six-year-old daughter's Barbie doll? Start browsing this hilarious collection of images – you'll be surprised at the patients' creativity and the medical information provided. And: Don't try this at home....

Oh No, Not "The Home"
Oh No, Not

Author: Peggy Rowe

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2024-10-15

Total Pages: 255

ISBN-13: 1637633424

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Peggy Rowe is at it again, proving once more that great content is all around us, even in the retirement community she now calls "The Home." In Oh, No, Not “The Home,” eighty-three-year-old Peggy decides the time has finally come to move into a senior living facility with her husband, John, who follows his beloved bride . . . grudgingly. Once ensconced in "The Home," however, John quickly makes a long list of eclectic friends and takes up bocci ball, hatchet throwing, pool playing, and various other distractions that keep him mostly sane. Meanwhile, Peggy finds humor in places a normal person would never think to look—and laughter around every corner. Missing dentures? A mouse in the house? Nude sunbathing with an unexpected audience? Gluttony in the dining hall? A chair volleyball game that turns into geriatric target practice? It's all here. With her usual mix of warmth and irreverence, Peggy brings her daily journal to life with an unforgettable mix of observations and confessions, written with the honesty of a true observer of the human condition and the urgency of an embedded reporter entrenched in a strange and distant land. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and before long, you’ll start to think that Peggy and John and their many new friends are just the kind of people you wish you had for neighbors. Whatever you think you know about retirement communities, think again. This is life at "The Home." And it’s not exactly what the marketing brochure promised!

You Don't Want to Know
You Don't Want to Know

Author: James Felton

Publisher: Sphere

Published: 2021-10-07

Total Pages: 244

ISBN-13: 0751580791

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JAMES FELTON'S "ASSHOLES" IS OUT NOW With his trademark brand of bulldozer-banter, Twitter legend James Felton guides you through the most morbidly fascinating facts you'll then wish you could forget. Ever wondered why the chainsaw was invented?* How authorities dealt with a beached whale back in ye olde days of 1970?** Or what being a human decanter entails?*** Then you've come to the right place! Within these pages you'll find the maddest, strangest and downright grossest stories from history, nature and science that you don't want to know. (Except secretly you really do you masochistic, beastly person you.) Illustrated, painfully funny and drop-your-jaw ridiculous, this is trivia from the cesspit of time that you won't be able to stop reading once you start. *To aid childbirth. **They exploded it with 100 times too much dynamite and rained blubber down on unsuspecting people and buildings. ***Decency prevents us from answering this one here. You'll have to buy the book to find out.

A Hard Day at the Orifice
A Hard Day at the Orifice

Author: Dr. John M. Miller

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2020-03-16

Total Pages: 363

ISBN-13: 1796009725

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This very personal account provides unique insights into the training and life of a dedicated Obstetrician and Gynaecologist. There are also fascinating accounts relating the history of the profession. Dr. Miller underwent extensive training both in Australia and overseas prestigious institutions. In addition to delivering well in excess of fifteen thousand babies in his private practice, in his long career he was responsible for numerous thousands more in his roles as medical superintendent of the then largest maternity hospital in the state and specialist consultant in charge of units in large teaching hospitals.He was also a specialist surgeon. The book is eminently readable and although there are descriptions of obstetric procedures and surgical operations it is certainly not a medical text. His credo; – to be a good doctor one needs knowledge, proficiency in his craft, compassion and humility. Otherwise he will be merely skilled. “While Dr. Miller’s reminiscences are bound to interest his peers and medical colleagues, they are written with a great deal of wit, verve and charm, and make fascinating reading for the layman. The author’s lightness of touch makes the memoir accessible and easy to read, and while he deals with many topical issues ( I found the recollection of his experience in delivering one of the first Thalidomide babies deeply moving ), these moments are balanced by Dr. Miller’s obvious pride in his profession, and his delight in sharing many amusing anecdotes along the way. No reader can close the final page without the feeling an enormous debt of gratitude to those who have have worked so tirelessly in this field to ensure our own or our loved ones’ safety during pregnancy and childbirth." —Annette Gilbert, The Raven’s Parlour Bookstore

A Kiss Before You Leave Me
A Kiss Before You Leave Me

Author: James Hulbert

Publisher: James Hulbert

Published: 2010-09-15

Total Pages: 285

ISBN-13: 0557677866

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Three master manipulators and a woman in love clash in the worlds of surveillance, voyeurism and art. Miranda's ex wants her back. His mother will do anything to keep them apart. Her secret weapon? A seductive Adonis with demons of his own--and plans for Miranda. Both moral tale and guilty pleasure, KISS is a thriller whose violence is emotional--and all the worse because done in the name of love.

Adventures of an Eccentric
Adventures of an Eccentric

Author: Janet D. Porter

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Published: 2020-11-27

Total Pages: 461

ISBN-13: 1546257632

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ABOUT THIS BOOK Thriller doesn't describe it! People live all sorts of lives but few as exciting as portrayed here. The author's short stories go from entertaining murderers and gang members to scary dating moments with a potential rapist; only to find love with someone she met 300 years prior. Sharing her work as a psychiatric social worker gives us many real life experiences one can only hope to avoid in one's own life. Yet some situations are encouraging as she helps others survive. The details of her descriptions are amazing as she paints us pictures so vivid we can shut our eyes and see the little gray sausage-like curls and round steel framed glasses on Mrs. Waddell. Whoever wrote a poem about MY ZIT? Different times in history are clearly described from when the little lady of the plantation threw the Yankee soldier over the fence to land in a mud puddle surrounded by snorting pigs. What does one do when facing the jagged glass ends of a broken beer bottle handled by a furious man 6'3" tall? Who ever dared to foster a former heroin pusher? Does anyone in your family vividly remember the details about our perspective of WWII? The author lived in the only city in the U.S. that housed an active army Overseas Replacement Depot. She even remembers the blue cellophane that covered the flashlights of the Air Raid Wardens. This writing covers: humor, adventure, religion, history, law, education, philosophy, psychology, parapsychology, parenting, drama, and much more. Call her crazy: call her eccentric. She lived, loved, DARED, and wrote to tell about it. You will enjoy plenty of laughs! R. Charles Guenther, retired school administrator

Oh Miriam!
Oh Miriam!

Author: Miriam Margolyes

Publisher: John Murray

Published: 2023-09-14

Total Pages: 370

ISBN-13: 1399803387

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'Oh Miriam! risks the curse of the sequel, and pulls it off . . . A force of nature, a tour de farce. Bold, brave and bright, but also revealing, shocking and touching. Miriam is an icon, a cocksucker - and the star of her show' ROBERT McCRUM, Independent 'Our naughtiest national treasure . . . famously filthy, funny and phlegmatic . . . Oh Miriam! is Margolyes's manifesto for a fulfilled life . . . She loves to tell it straight. And the older she gets, the straighter she tells it' SIMON HATTENSTONE, Guardian 'Irrepressible . . . A life-enhancing rollercoaster of a ride . . . this book is like Margolyes herself - outspoken, ebullient and unexpectedly wise' EMMA LEE-POTTER, Daily Express 'Snortingly funny . . . deliciously unbridled . . . There is something heroic in her unruliness. Let Miriam take the lead and enjoy the show' RHIK SAMADDER, Observer 'Insanely interesting, full of profanity and profundity, Oh Miriam!'s title comes from all the people who have ever exclaimed her name in every tone from horror to hilarity; and her unfiltered personality leaps off the page - honesty, kindness, generosity, sanity, erudition, outspokenness' SUZANNE HARRINGTON, Irish Examiner 'Endearingly eccentric' WOMEN'S WEEKLY From declaring my love to Vanessa Redgrave to being fed cockroaches by Steve Buscemi, from turnip-based comedy with Blackadder to being farted on by Arnold Schwarzenegger, from Graham Norton's sofa to Alan Cumming's camper van, my life has been (and continues to be) an uproarious adventure. Oh Miriam! has been such a constant refrain in my life, said in all kinds of tones - laughs, surprised gasps and orgasmic sighs (I'm hoping for all of those from you as you read on!) - that it had to be the title of this book. And with a cast list that stretches from Churchill to DiCaprio, Dahl to Dietrich, Princess Margaret to Maggie Smith, I've so much more to tell you and so much more to say. My chapters range from 'How to Stay Married' to 'Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down'. Discover how to break the thickest conversational ice; why swearing is actually good for you (though not on the Today programme); the unexpected things I learned at school and what my Spice Girl name would be. Not to mention my Tale of the Unexpected and my very own Vagina Monologue. Buckle up and join me on another unforgettable adventure, but this time through my heart and head . . .