Real solutions to a hidden epidemic: family estrangement. Estrangement from a family member is one of the most painful life experiences. It is devastating not only to the individuals directly involved--collateral damage can extend upward, downward, and across generations, More than 65 million Americans suffer such rifts, yet little guidance exists on how to cope with and overcome them. In this book, Karl Pillemer combines the advice of people who have successfully reconciled with powerful insights from social science research. The result is a unique guide to mending fractured families. Fault Lines shares for the first time findings from Dr. Pillemer's ten-year groundbreaking Cornell Reconciliation Project, based on the first national survey on estrangement; rich, in-depth interviews with hundreds of people who have experienced it; and insights from leading family researchers and therapists. He assures people who are estranged, and those who care about them, that they are not alone and that fissures can be bridged. Through the wisdom of people who have "been there," Fault Lines shows how healing is possible through clear steps that people can use right away in their own families. It addresses such questions as: How do rifts begin? What makes estrangement so painful? Why is it so often triggered by a single event? Are you ready to reconcile? How can you overcome past hurts to build a new future with a relative? Tackling a subject that is achingly familiar to almost everyone, especially in an era when powerful outside forces such as technology and mobility are lessening family cohesion, Dr. Pillemer combines dramatic stories, science-based guidance, and practical repair tools to help people find the path to reconciliation.
Most convicts arriving in New South Wales didn’t expect to make their fortunes. Some went on to great success, but countless convicts and free migrants struggled with limited prospects, discrimination and misfortune. Many desperate people turned to The Benevolent Society, Australia’s first charity founded in 1813, for assistance and sustenance. In this rich and revealing book, Tanya Evans collaborates with family historians to present the everyday lives of these people. We see many families who have fallen on hard times because of drink, unwanted pregnancy, violence, unemployment or plain bad luck, seeking help and often shunted from asylums or institutions. In the careful tracing of families, we see the way in which disadvantage can be passed down from one generation to the next. The extensive archives of The Benevolent Society allow us to reclaim these unknown lives and understand our history better, not to mention the often random nature of betterment and progress.
"The Fractured Family" follows the tumultuous journey of the happy family as they navigate the aftermath of betrayal and the quest for healing. The story opens with Karen discovering her husband David's affair, shattering the image of their perfect suburban life. As they confront the pain of infidelity, both struggle with their feelings: David grapples with guilt and regret, while Karen battles anger and heartbreak. Their two children, Emily and Jake, are caught in the crossfire of their parents' conflict, trying to make sense of the changes in their family dynamics. As David moves out and attempts to mend his relationship with Karen, the emotional strain deepens. Karen strives to keep things stable for the kids while dealing with her own feelings of loss and betrayal. Throughout the story, themes of love, trust, and forgiveness are explored as David expresses his desire to reconnect, but Karen remains torn between her lingering affection and the deep wounds caused by his betrayal. The turning point occurs when Karen has a heartfelt conversation with Emily, who fears losing both parents. This prompts Karen to reflect on her relationship with David and the future of their family.
Examines of the story of Hagar and Ishmael through the eyes of seventeenth-century Dutch painters. Hagar's tale is among the more disturbing, complex accounts of a female figure in the Old Testament, a tragic tale of servitude and heir-making surrogacy. This work looks at Dutch painting to recover Hagar's reputation.
A beautifully written novel about love, class differences, and betrayal playing out over the course of a fractured American family’s Long Island summer from #1 New York Times bestselling author Ann Brashares, author of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. “A gorgeously written novel on love, loss and family.” —NICOLA YOON, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything, Everything Summer for Sasha and Ray means the sprawling old house on Long Island. Since they were children, they’ve shared almost everything—reading the same books, running down the same sandy footpaths to the beach, eating peaches from the same market, laughing around the same sun-soaked dining table. Even sleeping in the same bed, on the very same worn cotton sheets. But they’ve never met. Sasha’s dad was once married to Ray’s mom, and together they had three daughters: Emma, the perfectionist; Mattie, the beauty; and Quinn, the favorite. But the marriage crumbled and the bitterness lingered. Now there are two new families—and neither one will give up the beach house that holds the memories, happy and sad, of summers past. The choices we make come back to haunt us; the effect on our destinies ripples out of our control . . . or does it? This summer, the lives of Sasha, Ray, and their siblings intersect in ways none of them ever dreamed, in a novel about family relationships, keeping secrets, and most of all, love. ★ “Masterful.” —PW, Starred ★ “A continuous, consistently engrossing narrative . . . deeply moving.” —The Bulletin, Starred “A gorgeous exploration of family, secrets, and love.” —Teen Vogue “You absolutely must read it.” —PopCrush An Amazon Best of the Month Selection A Teen Choice Book Award nominee!
"Anyone who works with troubled children and their families should not miss this book. Healing the Fractured Child weaves together comprehensive theory and neurobiology that substantiate practical treatment guidelines for children and their families. The complexity of symptoms, diagnoses, assessment, use of medication, and a variety of innovative treatment approaches for stabilization, trauma processing and integration are explored and come to life through the clear, practical and touching clinical illustrations peppered throughout the book. Fran Waters has drawn on her vast clinical experience and thorough knowledge of current perspectives on dissociation and child therapy to write an integrative, readable, and immensely useful masterpiece, a gift to the field of child psychology and psychotherapy and to the many therapists, children and parents who will benefit from her wisdom." --Pat Ogden PhD, Founder, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute; Author, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Interventions for Trauma and Attachment "A skillfully written, comprehensive and remarkable volume. Well-grounded in theory and full of rich, practical applications and detailed case examples. Water's outstanding work will expand clinicians' capacity to understand and assess dissociation as well as to effectively accompany children in their healing journeys. An essential resource for therapists of all orientations working with trauma and dissociation." Ana M. GÛmez, MC, LPC, Author of EMDR Therapy and Adjunct Approaches with Children: Complex Trauma, Attachment and Dissociation "Healing the Fractured Child" provides an invaluable source of information for all professionals and non-professionals interested in childhood dissociation. Based on her many years of experience in this field, Waters takes us from an explanation of dissociation and related theories to the behaviors which may be noticed by a parent, teacher or doctor, through the assessment quagmire and the challenges of parenting, to the important work of emotional regulation and the identification of self-states, bringing in consideration of where medication can or cannot assist and describing the hard work of trauma processing, to integration, possible relapse, and back again to even stronger internal integration. The intricately described clinical examples provide a plethora of ideas for working with these children and offer readers the encouragement and hope so important for working with children who experienced trauma. Sandra Wieland, Ph.D., R.Psych. Illuminates the most promising treatments available for dissociative children Written by one of the nation's leading practitioners in the field of childhood trauma, abuse, and dissociation, this comprehensive resource fills a void in the literature to provide in-depth knowledge of current interventions for treating dissociation in youth. It describes a detailed, careful assessment process and creative, evidence-supported techniques for helping children and their families to heal from chaotic, traumatizing experiences. With both a theoretical and practical focus, the book offers proven strategies for successfully treating children and adolescents with varying degrees of dissociation and co-morbid symptoms. It also integrates adjunct therapies in environments beyond those of traditional psychotherapy, such as school, and describes how their strategies can be used effectively to augment therapy and understand dissociative children. Based on a model integrating five prominent therapeutic modalities, and underscoring the importance of attachment style, the book focuses on the neurobiology of trauma, a high co-morbidity of symptoms, specialized clinical interventions, psychopharmacology, and family intervention techniques. Also addressed are adjunct therapies in art, and EMDR. In addition, the book provides a window into the effects of traumatic events such as medical illness that may be overlooked, and safe techniques with dissociative youth who are exhibiting dangerous behaviors. Rich clinical examples demonstrate the various phases of treatment and offer a window into the internal world of dissociative children. This resource provides mental health clinicians, and other health professionals with a wealth of tools to effectively treat this troubled client population. Key Features: Describes theoretical conceptualization and specialized integrative techniques to treat dissociative children effectively Integrates psychotherapy with EMDR, art therapy, neurobiology and psychopharmacology Distills current research on neurobiology of trauma and how to intervene with specially designed treatment strategies Provides in-depth knowledge of the latest creative interventions for treatment across degrees and ages of dissociation, and co-morbid symptoms Sensitizes the therapist to often overlooked traumatic events, e.g. medical illness, that can exacerbate symptoms
Fifty years ago, the phrase "family policy" was rarely heard in America. Individual states maintained laws governing marriage, divorce, education, inheritance, and child protection, which regulated the formation, childrearing practices, and dissolution of families. However, these scattered policy issues were not seen as closely related. Until the 1960s, the nuclear family was an institution that was part of the natural life-course expected of most adults. Family meant marriage, children, the establishment of a home, care of the elderly, but perhaps most of all, bonding of the generations. As early as the 1840s, certain elements of states' policies hinted at a weakening family structure, but not until the 1960s was the family openly attacked. Feminists objected to a male-oriented home economy, demographers encouraged negative population growth, the sexual revolution was on the rise, and religiously grounded morality in public life was challenged in the federal courts. Married couples with children had to shoulder a larger tax burden, further discouraging people from building and maintaining families. Perhaps because family was so central to the founders' lives they found no need to mention it in the Constitution. But today, generational bonds have fractured, while family policy is a paramount public concern. As Allan Carlson makes clear no nation can progress, or even survive, without a durable family system. Contemporary family policy represents an attempt to counter the negative forces of the last four decades so as to restore the natural family to its necessary place in American life. Fractured Generations' chapters follow the life-course of the human family--marriage; the birth of children; infant and toddler care; schooling; building a home; crafting a durable family economy; and elder care. This is a passionate and well-reasoned appeal for a return to the institution that is the last best hope for America's future: the family.
A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.
Damaged. Broken. Destroyed. I’ve heard it all. A single moment of trusting the wrong person shattered my life into pieces, and my family has never looked at me the same. It’s impossible to convince them that I’m anything more than the broken girl they rescued all those years ago. Until I meet him. Ramsey’s grumpy demeanor and menacing scowl scare most of the world away. But not me. Not when I’ve seen his gentle hands soothe an abused colt or comfort a terrified mare. And when I finally get up the courage to strike out on my own, Ramsey’s there. Roommates felt like such a safe proposition until Ramsey’s lingering touches and wicked smile light a fire in me I don’t think will ever be extinguished. And he feels it, too… But just as my new life begins to take root, an evil from my past emerges from the shadows, casting a darkness on my newfound freedom. And this time, they won’t settle for pieces of me. They want everything…
After your faith has fractured, let what takes its place be the real thing . . . at last. Somewhere along the way, the Christianity you knew began to crumble. You began to suspect your faith was misplaced. Disillusionment set in. Churches hurt you. Their people failed you. Christian institutions were exposed as fake. And in it all, God was silent. Is He gone? Or is God really there, waiting for you to find Him instead of the counterfeits? If you’re walking this difficult spiritual path, Lina AbuJamra understands you. After experiencing the near deconstruction of her own faith, Lina had to rebuild something more solid when the faith she once knew let her down. With her diagnostic style that comes from her training as an ER doc, Lina helps you grapple with questions like: Where is God in my pain? Is this how Christians are supposed to act? Why did my story end up this way? Is this the normal Christian life? Why is it so hard for Christians to love? Let Fractured Faith help you find your way back to God. You just might discover that the real God has been waiting for you all along.
