The Forgive Process reveals a simple process to forgive the hurts and pains that hold people back. Life is full-contact. There are hurts and joys at every turn. But those hurts, when they are not released, hold people captive. The way through a hurt is forgiveness. Yet many people do not understand forgiveness. The misunderstandings and myths make it even more difficult—unless you have a simple process to work through. With Lee Baucom’s principles, forgiving is a simple, six-step process. Anyone can forgive, move forward, and find peace and healing.
A practical guide by the man Time magazine has called “the forgiveness trailblazer.” While it may seem like a simple enough act, forgiveness is a difficult, delicate process which, if executed correctly, can be profoundly moving and a deep learning experience. Whatever the scenario may be—whether you need to make peace with a certain situation, with a loved one or friend, or with a total stranger—the process of forgiveness is an art and a science, and this hands-on guide walks readers through it in 8 key steps. How can we become forgivingly “fit”? How can we identify the source of our pain and inner turmoil? How can we find meaning in what we have suffered, or learn to forgive ourselves? What should we do when forgiveness feels like a particularly tall order? All these questions and more are answered in this practical book, leading us to become more tolerant, compassionate, and hopeful human beings.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Chair of The Elders, and Chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, along with his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, offer a manual on the art of forgiveness—helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation. Tutu's role as the Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission taught him much about forgiveness. If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.
By demonstrating how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven this self-help book benefits people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment.
The Forgiving Life offers scientifically supported guidance to help people forgive those in their lives who have acted unfairly and have inflicted emotional hurt. It does not minimize the devastation of that hurt. It does not require reconciliation with the one who inflicted the hurt. Rather, it describes a process, followed with success by people around the world, to confront the pain, rise above it to forgive, and in so doing, to loosen the grip of depression, anger, and resentment that has soured life. In this book, noted forgiveness expert Robert D. Enright invites readers to learn the benefits of forgiveness and to embark on a path of forgiveness, leaving behind a legacy of love. Guided by thought-provoking questions, journaling exercises, and Enright’s kind encouragement, readers can chart their own journey through a new life of forgiveness.
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. Don’t miss the five-part HBO Max docuseries Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart! Social scientist Brené Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall. It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. As a grounded theory researcher, Brown has listened as a range of people—from leaders in Fortune 500 companies and the military to artists, couples in long-term relationships, teachers, and parents—shared their stories of being brave, falling, and getting back up. She asked herself, What do these people with strong and loving relationships, leaders nurturing creativity, artists pushing innovation, and clergy walking with people through faith and mystery have in common? The answer was clear: They recognize the power of emotion and they’re not afraid to lean in to discomfort. Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we’re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It’s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are. ONE OF GREATER GOOD’S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR “[Brené Brown’s] research and work have given us a new vocabulary, a way to talk with each other about the ideas and feelings and fears we’ve all had but haven’t quite known how to articulate. . . . Brené empowers us each to be a little more courageous.”—The Huffington Post
The Templeton Foundation, whose board members include Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter, Robert Coles, and others, has already funded more than $5 million and supported 58 studies to show that it's possible to teach people to forgive faster, more thoroughly, and with longer-lasting results. The core of Everett Worthington's own research is his revolutionary five-step Reach program for forgiveness: R = Recall the hurt (define your feelings and expectations)E = Empathize with the one who hurt you (put yourself in the victimizer's shoes)A = Give the Altruistic gift of forgiveness (commit to a selfless act)C = Commit to forgive (make your act a public one)H = Hold onto forgiveness (learn how not to slide back into thoughts of revenge and retaliation)The author lays out the research results that demonstrate that people who forgive are healthier and happier. It offers a new definition of forgiveness: it's not an act of will, but rather a change in understanding.This revolutionary book provides readers with a new road out of the pain of victimization.
Based on scientific research, this groundbreaking study from the frontiers of psychology and medicine offers startling new insight into the healing powers and medical benefits of forgiveness. Through vivid examples (including his work with victims from both sides of Northern Ireland’s civil war), Dr. Fred Luskin offers a proven nine-step forgiveness method that makes it possible to move beyond being a victim to a life of improved health and contentment.
A practical manual for healing ourselves and our relationships. This book gives us a step-by-step process for moving through our fears, projections, judgements, and guilt so that we can take responsibility for creating the life we want. With great gentleness, we learn to embrace our lessons and to find equality with others. A must read for all in recovery and others seeking spiritual wholeness.
