The Best Ever Book of Surveyor Jokes
The Best Ever Book of Surveyor Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2012-07-16

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781478119838

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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Surveyor jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Surveyor Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Surveyor Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Surveyor joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Surveyor jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Surveyors wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Surveyor and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Surveyor brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Surveyor who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Surveyors laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 19
Greatest Jokes of the Century Book 19

Author: Thomas F. Shubnell

Publisher: Thomas F. Shubnell

Published: 2008-09-20

Total Pages: 169

ISBN-13: 1440419930

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It's astounding that there are still new jokes after this many books, but there are. Not a rehash of old ones. Completely new jokes, funnies, tidbits, and hearty knee slappers to make you keep coming back for more. A sure delight, this one is right tonight.

Funniest Joke Book (for All Ages)
Funniest Joke Book (for All Ages)

Author: Rob Morris

Publisher: Independently Published

Published: 2020-05-24

Total Pages: 66

ISBN-13:

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This book is specially written to make you laugh and giggle, the jokes are clean and they are good to go for all ages, either adult or kids.This is the best joke book ever, the jokes were not just only funny but also long enough to keep suspense!!After reading, if you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving an honest review on your favorite store.

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Surveyors
The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Surveyors

Author: Mark Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2013-04-26

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781484815809

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If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Surveyors is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Surveyors appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Surveyor knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Surveyor, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Surveyors. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

The Best Jokes and Stories
The Best Jokes and Stories

Author: Gene Levin

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2003-01-29

Total Pages: 156

ISBN-13: 0595267661

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The purpose of this book is to survey a selection of jokes—classics as well as those making the rounds today—and to provide suggestions on how to tell them effectively. Note: Some of the material is 'salty' because sex is an important part of life and lends itself to humor. Those who wish to develop as raconteurs must have a good stock of stories of different types at hand, in order to contribute to a social gathering, no matter who is present. This collection contains a variety of stories, from the ribald to the most sophisticated, such as 'Beethoven's Ninth' and 'Bohr.' Some—Three Women at the Gates of Heaven—are double-barreled, with two punch lines. I find them all quite amusing.

Baby Monkey, Private Eye
Baby Monkey, Private Eye

Author: Brian Selznick

Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

Published: 2018-02-27

Total Pages: 197

ISBN-13: 1338257293

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Caldecott Medalist Brian Selznick and debut children's book author David Serlin create a dazzling new format especially for young children! A New York Times Bestselling Book An Amazon Best Book of the Year A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year Parents Magazine Best Early Reader of the Year "A marvel." --The New York Times "Inventive... fabulously expressive..." --San Francisco Chronicle Who is Baby Monkey? He is a baby. He is a monkey. He has a job. He is Baby Monkey, Private Eye! Lost jewels? Missing pizza? Stolen spaceship? Baby Monkey can help... if he can put on his pants! Baby Monkey's adventures come to life in an exciting blend of picture book, beginning reader, and graphic novel. With pithy text and over 120 black and white drawings accented with red, it is ideal for sharing aloud and for emerging readers.

Mastering Stand-Up
Mastering Stand-Up

Author: Stephen Rosenfield

Publisher: Chicago Review Press

Published: 2017-11-01

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 1613736959

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Stephen Rosenfield, founder and director of the American Comedy Institute, the premier comedy school in the United States, has taught literally dozens of major standup comics in North America, and has also pioneered comedy as an academic discipline in many universities, a trend that is rapidly spreading. Mastering Stand-Up draws on Rosenfield's own extensive experience (and those of countless stars like Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Louis C.K., Steve Martin, Roseanne, and Johnny Carson) to show the reader—and would-be comic—what works, what doesn't, and why. Forty sharply written chapters cover every conceivable angle of the joke and how to tell it. There are a number of books on comedy and how to do it, but none has the breadth and authority Rosenfield brings to his theme. It's not for nothing that the New York Times has described him as "probably the best-known comedy teacher in the country." Rosenfield's book is sure to become the classic text on its subject. And it should help thousands who long to make others laugh to realize their fondest hopes.

Harrow the Ninth
Harrow the Ninth

Author: Tamsyn Muir

Publisher: Tordotcom

Published: 2020-08-04

Total Pages: 452

ISBN-13: 1250313201

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Harrow the Ninth, an Amazon pick for Best SFF of 2020 and the New York Times and USA Today bestselling sequel to Gideon the Ninth, turns a galaxy inside out as one necromancer struggles to survive the wreckage of herself aboard the Emperor's haunted space station. The Locked Tomb is a 2023 Hugo Award Finalist for Best Series! “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” —Charles Stross on Gideon the Ninth “Unlike anything I've ever read.” —V.E. Schwab on Gideon the Ninth “Deft, tense and atmospheric, compellingly immersive and wildly original.” —The New York Times on Gideon the Ninth She answered the Emperor's call. She arrived with her arts, her wits, and her only friend. In victory, her world has turned to ash. After rocking the cosmos with her deathly debut, Tamsyn Muir continues the story of the penumbral Ninth House in Harrow the Ninth, a mind-twisting puzzle box of mystery, murder, magic, and mayhem. Nothing is as it seems in the halls of the Emperor, and the fate of the galaxy rests on one woman's shoulders. Harrowhark Nonagesimus, last necromancer of the Ninth House, has been drafted by her Emperor to fight an unwinnable war. Side-by-side with a detested rival, Harrow must perfect her skills and become an angel of undeath — but her health is failing, her sword makes her nauseous, and even her mind is threatening to betray her. Sealed in the gothic gloom of the Emperor's Mithraeum with three unfriendly teachers, hunted by the mad ghost of a murdered planet, Harrow must confront two unwelcome questions: is somebody trying to kill her? And if they succeeded, would the universe be better off? THE LOCKED TOMB SERIES BOOK 1: Gideon the Ninth BOOK 2: Harrow the Ninth BOOK 3: Nona the Ninth BOOK 4: Alecto the Ninth At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.