I flub a note during my piano recital, and as punishment the cruel Music Mistress makes me demonstrate to the audience exactly how I suck…by having me try to orally satisfy a handsome but very disinterested man right there on stage. To complicate matters, a second man appears and begins to stimulate me to try to distract me from my task. But I won’t let him succeed. I will suck like no one else!
From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern’s I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man’s adventures in romance. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.
Do you ever just want someone to help you figure life out--to tell you how to win at work, what guys to stay away from, and what jeans rock your body shape? This book is the perfect cocktail of sass and down-to-earth guidance to navigate your way to the life you want to live. With so much information at your fingertips, real success, good dates, and true friendships can often feel out of reach. Packed with lessons learned from her own mistakes and heartache, Bianca Juarez Olthoff is your guide (minus the cargo shorts and tacky hat) in avoiding unnecessary detours on the path to your best self. With her signature wit, engaging stories, and brilliant insights from a counselor friend, Bianca gives spot-on advice for adulting, career, relationships, and faith. Following the biblical story of Ruth and Naomi, Bianca's humorous and honest anecdotes will empower you to create a successful life and discover all you can be. This curated manual for the modern woman will help you: Connect with a mentor, let go of bad friendships, and find a relationship worth keeping Trust the goodness of God even in loss, betrayal, and unanswered questions Take initiative, do hard things, and achieve meaningful success Fall in love with God's Word and see the Bible come alive Bianca will show you that though life is tough, you are too.
Discover how the freedom of sucking at something can help you build resilience, embrace imperfection, and find joy in the pursuit rather than the goal. What if the secret to resilience and joy is the one thing we’ve been taught to avoid? When was the last time you tried something new? Something that won’t make you more productive, make you more money, or check anything off your to-do list? Something you’re really, really bad at, but that brought you joy? Odds are, not recently. As a sh*tty surfer and all-around-imperfect human Karen Rinaldi explains in this eye-opening book, we live in a time of aspirational psychoses. We humblebrag about how hard we work and we prioritize productivity over play. Even kids don’t play for the sake of playing anymore: they’re building blocks to build the ideal college application. But we’re all being had. We’re told to be the best or nothing at all. We’re trapped in an epic and farcical quest for perfection. We judge others on stuff we can’t even begin to master, and it’s all making us more anxious and depressed than ever. Worse, we’re not improving on what really matters. This book provides the antidote. (It’s Great to) Suck at Something reveals that the key to a richer, more fulfilling life is finding something to suck at. Drawing on her personal experience sucking at surfing (a sport she’s dedicated nearly two decades of her life to doing without ever coming close to getting good at it) along with philosophy, literature, and the latest science, Rinaldi explores sucking as a lost art we must reclaim for our health and our sanity and helps us find the way to our own riotous suck-ability. She draws from sources as diverse as Anthony Bourdain and surfing luminary Jaimal Yogis, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Jean-Paul Sartre, among many others, and explains the marvelous things that happen to our mammalian brains when we try something new, all to discover what she’s learned firsthand: it is great to suck at something. Sucking at something rewires our brain in positive ways, helps us cultivate grit, and inspires us to find joy in the process, without obsessing about the destination. Ultimately, it gives you freedom: the freedom to suck without caring is revelatory. Coupling honest, hilarious storytelling with unexpected insights, (It’s Great to) Suck at Something is an invitation to embrace our shortcomings as the very best of who we are and to open ourselves up to adventure, where we may not find what we thought we were looking for, but something way more important.
Do you know someone who sucks? Do you suck? Would you like to stop sucking? If so, you've found the right book. How not to suck will show you who sucks (everyone) and what sucks (most everything). From there, you will learn how to become the speed bump on the sucky highway. So, get your helmet, strap it on, and get ready to tackle suckage right in its tracks. Chapter titles include: How not to suck in bed (or why you should), How not to be an Ugly American, The reasons work sucks and how to stop the madness, and many many more (not actual title, but maybe it should be.) Now REEL BIG FISH approved!!!
"Filled with a mix of candid personal stories and the no-nonsense advice she's known for, [this book] is the next step on Bethenny's A Place of Yes journey ... by someone who has made many relationship mistakes and knows a thing or two because of it. Bethenny takes a deep look at her own dating and relationship history and gets to the heart of the mistakes women make and what it takes to find and sustain a meaningful connection. Look for Bethenny's take on hot topics such as understanding your man, the do's and don'ts of dating, how to trust your gut, and much more"--Amazon.com.
In this emotionally powerful, funny debut, Cricket Cherpin needs to figure out what to do with his life before he turns 18. But life sucksNso why not just give up?
I Suck at Pronouns is an account of the journey of a mother of an adolescent tomboy, who threw a monkey wrench in every parenting book. An adorable little girl who grew into a handsome transgender boy on the cusp of physical transition, her son had raised the bar. The ups and downs, the trials and errors that every mom’s faces are amplified when the moments that are considered normal are anything but ordinary. No one ever said parenting was easy, well, maybe they did, but that author did not have a transgender son. Life in a small town is usually no more complicated today than it was thirty years ago—different, yes, but not really problematic as long as you know where to change. But this is no typical life. The bullying, the questioning, the depression, and anxiety are part of everyday life for a kid growing up in the wrong body. But one thing is for certain. If you have the support and love of your family and friends, you can overcome any obstacle thrown in your way! Dropped into the realm of a transgender lifestyle, a mother navigates her way around friendships, family, therapists, and pronouns. Maneuvering through a world she originally knew nothing about while supporting her child every step of the way, the author displays her worry as to the best way to approach this new terrain. Did she know what she was doing? Probably not. Did she screw up? Maybe. Did she do her best? I’d say so. Does she love her child unconditionally? Absolutely! Possibly call this a self-help book in the hopes that it may help the average Joe/Josephine who just wants to know where to begin or would like to be more educated on the subject or at least know that they’re not alone.
