"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships"--
Until now, couples facing the dilemma of deciding whether or not to stay in an unhappy marriage had three options: individual or couples therapy, separation, or divorce. Should I Stay or Go? provides these couples with a fourth option--the Controlled Separation (CS). CS is a compassionate process that is designed to build respect and foster advocacy between spouses. The book explains the CS guidelines, including the 12 fundamental issues that must be resolved for a workable, orderly separation. It also contains sample contracts, along with helpful checklists and self-assessment tools.
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
"When Brian told me of his affair, my whole world was shattered. Since the affair, and since the difficult recovery period, I have excelled in amazing ways in every area of my life. I look and feel better than I did when I was in my twenties. I have more energy, more zeal and more enthusiasm for life. Since I have gotten over my insecurities, I experience far better relationships with my husband, children and others. I also have more fun. No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, we always have a choice, not a choice over what will happen to us, but a choice over how we will react to it. Will we become bitter or better? I chose to become better, and now my greatest tragedy has also become my greatest personal victory." – Anne Bercht "Would I want to go back to our marriage before the affair? Not a chance! Would I have liked to have gotten to this point some other way? Absolutely! Would I recommend an affair to others so they can reach a greater love and better marriage? Absolutely not! If you have experienced an affair, is rebuilding your marriage worth it? You bet it is! As long as you love each other and are willing to do the work." – Brian Bercht
How can a marriage survive an affair? Infidelity is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved--the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and the wayward spouse. Once trust is broken, how can a couple ever hope to reconcile? In Surviving an Affair, Drs. Harley and Chalmers help you understand every aspect of infidelity--from the beginning of an affair through the restoration of the marriage. They describe: - why affairs begin and end - how to end an affair - how to restore the marriage - how to manage resentment and rebuild trust Surviving an Affair guides you step-by-step from the devastating blow of infidelity to a loving and trusting marriage. All questionnaires mentioned within this book are available in a fillable pdf format from the authors' websites identified on the last page.
A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.