Dirty Old Man’s Day at the Allotment
Dirty Old Man’s Day at the Allotment

Author: Leanne Long

Publisher: Leanne Long

Published:

Total Pages: 28

ISBN-13:

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Dirty Old Mans Day at The allotment Granddad liked taking her up the allotment. She loved it too. There was always fruit to be picked which she loved to do. For him it was about the forbidden fruit. He’d bought her a present and she wanted to show him how gratefull she was. Taster: “Move back a little sweetheart.” He said as he pulled the garage door out and up. Then he went in and over to the corner and grabbed the three quarter sized tools for her, the shovel spade and fork were still wrapped up in the cellophane from the shop. He turned back around and held them up. “Oh Granddad, are they for me?” She squealed then she ran into the garage and threw her arms around him, pressing her little face up against his big belly. He looked down and kissed her on the top of her head right between the cute little pig tails. “Of course my darling.” He said, hugging her head with his free hand. “Are we going to the allotment then?” She asked as she broke her hug and glared at her presents. Even though they were designed for smaller people they were a little over large for her but she cared not. Granddad had bought them for her which meant that he loved her and she loved them, and him too of course. “I think we might just do that, but only if you really want to. Do you really want to?” He teased as he turned her and walked out towards the car his hand on her shoulder. “Oh yes please Granddad can we. PLEASE!” she asked, looking up at him. He smiled back down at her then lifted her into the car. “We should have changed you into a pair of jeans.” He said secretly thanking his stars that she’d stayed dressed in that tiny little almost mini skirt, he liked to watch her try to dig. He let his wrinkly old hands linger on her bare leg for a bit after her boots were all on. “What shall we do first Granddad?” She asked.

Rat-a-tat-tat
Rat-a-tat-tat

Author: Katherine Black

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2005-06

Total Pages: 336

ISBN-13: 0595357059

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When Author Ellie Erikson is diagnosed with a rare incurable illness she fears for her future but worse is to come. Paranoia closes around her as her life is threatened from another direction. She is lured to a disused medical institute where her partner Matt is in danger and what she discovers there surpasses any fears she had already imagined. Somebody knows her every move before she makes it. Somebody is out to get her. The gripping climax to Rat-a-tat-tat will give her all the answers but only one of them can survive.

Trials and Tribulations of Dirty Shame, Oklahoma
Trials and Tribulations of Dirty Shame, Oklahoma

Author: Sy Hoahwah

Publisher: University of New Mexico Press

Published: 2024-02-15

Total Pages: 72

ISBN-13: 0826365957

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Trials and Tribulations of Dirty Shame, Oklahoma beautifully showcases Comanche gothic literature, a new genre in Indigenous literature, at its creative best. In the tradition of The Iliad and Paradise Lost, this book is an epic poem of heroic and biblical proportions. Three Indigenous young people discover that the Holy Grail has been on the North American continent for centuries, and in Oklahoma for the last two. Battling both human and supernatural enemies, Velroy, Mia, and Stoney struggle to get the Holy Grail out of Indian Country to save their families and community and bring true peace back to their ordinary, Dirty Shame lives.

Rhapsody in Green: A Writer, an Obsession, a Laughably Small Excuse for a Vegetable Garden
Rhapsody in Green: A Writer, an Obsession, a Laughably Small Excuse for a Vegetable Garden

Author: Charlotte Mendelson

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2021-03-25

Total Pages: 189

ISBN-13: 0857839934

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'Excellent book.' Nigella Lawson 'Charming, inspiring, uplifting... pure lovely.' Marian Keyes 'Read Rhapsody in Green. A novelist's beautiful, useful essays about her tiny garden.' India Knight 'Glorious...for anyone who loves fruit, vegetables, herbs and language. It makes you see them with new eyes.' Diana Henry 'A witty account of 'extreme allotmenteering' for all obsessive gardeners' Mail on Sunday 'An extremely entertaining and inspiring story of one woman's passionate transformation of a small, irregular shaped urban garden into a bountiful source of food.' Woman & Home 'A gardening book like no other, this is the author's 'love letter' to her garden. She relays warm and witty stories about the trials and tribulations throughout her gardening year.' Garden News '...this inspirational, funny book, written by someone who hankers after a homesteader's lifestyle, will make you look at even your window box in a new, more productive light.' The Simple Things 'Gardening is not a hobby but a passion: a mess of excitement and compulsion and urgency and desire. Those who practise it are botanists, evangelists, freedom fighters, midwives and saboteurs; we kill; we bleed. No, I can't drop everything to come in for dinner; it's a matter of life and death out here.' Novelist Charlotte Mendelson has a secret life. Despite owning only six square metres of urban soil and a few pots, she is an extreme gardener; the creator of a tiny but bountiful edible jungle. And like all enthusiasts, she will not rest until you share her obsession. This is the story of an amateur gardener's journey to addiction: her attempts to buy lion dung from London Zoo and to build her own cold frame; her disinhibited composting and creative approach to design; her prejudices (roses, purple flowers, people with orchards); and her passions: quinces, salad-leaves, herbs, Japanese greens and ancient British apples. It is a story of where fantasy meets reality, of the slow onset of a consuming love and, most of all, of how gardening, however peculiar, can save your life.

Rationale of the Dirty Joke
Rationale of the Dirty Joke

Author: G. Legman

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2007-11-01

Total Pages: 822

ISBN-13: 1416595732

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Why do people tell dirty jokes? And what is it about a joke's dirtiness that makes it funny? G. Legman was perhaps the foremost scholar of the dirty joke, and as legions of humor writers and comedians know, his Rationale of the Dirty Joke remains the most exhaustive and authoritative study of the subject. More than two thousand jokes and folktales are presented, covering such topics as The Female Fool, The Fortunate Fart, Mutual Mismatching, and The Sex Machine. These folk texts are authentically transcribed in their innocent and sometimes violent entirety. Legman studies each for its historical and socioanalytic significance, revealing what these jokes mean to the people who tell them and to the people who listen and laugh. Here -- back in print -- is the definitive text for comedians and humor writers, Freudian scholars and late night television enthusiasts. Rationale of the Dirty Joke will amuse you, offend you, challenge you, and disgust you, all while demonstrating the intelligence and hilarity of the dirty joke.

The Story Thief
The Story Thief

Author: Kyra Geddes

Publisher: Affirm Press

Published: 2024-04-30

Total Pages: 401

ISBN-13: 1923046675

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Fact and fiction meld into one in this stirring family saga set against shifting landscapes and pivotal moments in Australian history. Lillian was born in 1892, the same year Henry Lawson wrote 'The Drover's Wife' and cemented his place in Australia's literary canon. When Lillian reads the short story as a teenager, she is convinced that it is based upon her own family and becomes determined to prove it. But as the years pass, the truth becomes more problematic, and Lillian must decide what is more important: holding onto the past or embracing the future. The Story Thief is about mothers and daughters, love, loss and the power of words. Ultimately it is about how each of us must find our own way to live.

The Boogieman
The Boogieman

Author: Clive Atwater

Publisher: Archway Publishing

Published: 2020-10-02

Total Pages: 373

ISBN-13: 1480895032

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Six-year-old Cameron never believed in the Boogieman. That character was merely fiction, embellished by adults to keep kids in line. Yes, the Boogieman was only a myth—until Cameron’s family moves into the stately old house with the creepy third floor. Already, at the mere age of six, Cameron carries a jaded and cynical perspective on life, so he will never admit to believing in something so childish as the Boogieman. However, he must confess there is a dark presence on the dusty third floor. This presence strikes young Cameron with unspeakable dread. The legend of the Boogieman haunts both Cameron and those around him, but how does one fight a myth? How does one control the wild machinations of a child’s mind?