Schema Therapy (ST) was developed to treat patients with complex disorders, especially personality disorders, with a powerful new set of interventions. Personality disorders, as well as more general problems stemming from early experience and addressed by schema therapy, are a key factor in many disturbed relationships, and as a result ST is now increasingly used for couples work. By dealing effectively with the past, ST offers a unique way to approach and address present difficulties in relationships, Couples who understand their individual patterns of thinking and behavior tend to find that their relationships make much more sense. Breaking Negative Relationship Patterns is a readable, practical resource containing a wealth of self-help exercises that schema therapists can recommend or give to their patients. It is the ideal resource for couples undergoing schema therapy, and can also serve as an accessible self-help guide for those experiencing relationship difficulties. The authors offer a complete ST-based model for understanding complex personal problems, along with couple-specific adaptations of core ST interventions such as limited reparenting, imagery re-scripting and behavioral pattern breaking.
Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns is the first schema-mode focused resource guide aimed at schema therapy patients and self-help readers seeking to understand and overcome negative patterns of thinking and behaviour. Represents the first resource for general readers on the mode approach to schema therapy Features a wealth of case studies that serve to clarify schemas and modes and illustrate techniques for overcoming dysfunctional modes and behavior patterns Offers a series of exercises that readers can immediately apply to real-world challenges and emotional problems as well as the complex difficulties typically tackled with schema therapy Includes original illustrations that demonstrate the modes and approaches in action, along with 20 self-help mode materials which are also available online Written by authors closely associated with the development of schema therapy and the schema mode approach
From the bestselling author of 20 inspiring, wise, and quirky self-help books comes this powerful relationship guide for women. With edgy humor and sound psychological advice, this honest work can help women learn to love themselves more and make healthier love choices.
Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met? Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: * identify your personal love style * understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse * break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck * find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms * create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love? Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately.
A team of psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, and behavioral specialists provides insights on how seek the support and understanding needed to overcome repetitive, negative behaviors.
A master class in relationship repair and connection. At its core, this book delivers an inconvenient truth. Our relationships have to be a daily practice if we want them to thrive. We should treat them like we treat anything that we want to succeed, by giving them time and attention. For far too long it has been assumed that we should innately understand how to love one another. Relationships have fallen into the category of things we should know how to do. But we are not born knowing how to make a relationship work, any more than we are born knowing how to file taxes or buy insurance, and there are no classes in high school or college that teach us how to do this. The Practice of Love is that class. In his work, Lair Torrent, a licensed marriage and family therapist, brings together concepts and tools that can actually help couples heal for the long haul. Diving beneath the symptoms most therapies focus on, he helps couples develop a deeper understanding of the wounds that brought them together and how they show up in their relationships. The 5 Practices gives the reader an opportunity to weed out and take responsibility for limiting or negative habits while allowing them to learn and adopt new and healthier practices with their partner. These are not short-term solutions, but rather a path to profound healing, deeper connection, and stronger, happier relationships.
It's no surprise that our culture is addicted to "love." The sappy love songs, the enticing ads for romantic getaways and the desire to be cherished by a special someone will never lose their appeal. But for some women, this poses a significant problem. Because of their insatiable desire for love, they will do anything to find it and ultimately land in destructive addictive relationships over and over again causing incredible harm. This newly revised and expanded edition of Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path to living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women. A newly added chapter on "Mother Hunger" explores the role of the mother in infancy and how she ultimately impacts a daughter's ability to have healthy intimate relationships later in life. Break free from the chains of addictive relationships that sabotage happiness and self-respect.
If you want to fix your rebellious and disrespectful child, you need to start by fixing yourself. Are your kids pummeling you with demands and bossing you around with impunity? Have your once-precious preschoolers become rebellious, entitled, and disrespectful to authority? While there are plenty of so-called experts who might try to validate your convictions that you have done all you can to “fix” your “difficult” children, the hard truth is, they’re not doing you any favors by placing the responsibility solely on your children. Parenting struggles rarely originate from just one side. Instead, they erupt at the volatile intersection of a child's personality with a parent's own insecurities and behaviors. In When Kids Call the Shots, therapist and parenting expert Sean Grover untangles the forces driving family dysfunction, and helps parents assume their leadership roles once again. Parents will discover: Three common bullying styles used by kids Parenting styles that contribute to power balances Critical testing periods in a child’s development Coping mechanisms that backfire Personalized plans for calmly exerting authority in any scenario The solution to any problem begins with learning to control what you can control. In parenting, you’ve already learned how impossible it is to control your kids. Begin by controlling you!
Schema Therapy in Practice presents a comprehensive introduction to schema therapy for non-specialist practitioners wishing to incorporate it into their clinical practice. Focuses on the current schema mode model, within which cases can be more easily conceptualized and emotional interventions more smoothly introduced Extends the practice of schema therapy beyond borderline personality disorder to other personality disorders and Axis I disorders such as anxiety, depression and OCD Presented by authors who are world-respected as leaders in the schema therapy field, and have pioneered the development of the schema mode approach
"Your Mindful Compass" takes us behind the emotional curtain to see the mechanisms regulating individuals in social systems. There is great comfort and wisdom in knowing we can increase our awareness to manage the swift and ancient mechanisms of social control. We can gain greater flexibility by seeing how social controls work in systems from ants to humans. To be less controlled by others, we learn how emotional systems influence our relationship-oriented brain. People want to know what goes on in families that give rise to amazing leaders and/or terrorists. For the first time in history we can understand the systems in which we live. The social sciences have been accumulating knowledge since the early fifties as to how we are regulated by others. S. Milgram, S. Ashe, P. Zimbardo and J. Calhoun, detail the vulnerability to being duped and deceived and the difficulty of cooperating when values differ. Murray Bowen, M.D., the first researcher to observe several live-in families, for up to three years, at the National Institute of Mental Health. Describing how family members overly influence one another and distribute stress unevenly, Bowen described both how symptoms and family leaders emerge in highly stressed families. Our brain is not organized to automatically perceive that each family has an emotional system, fine-tuned by evolution and "valuing" its survival as a whole, as much as the survival of any individual. It is easier to see this emotional system function in ants or mice but not in humans. The emotional system is organized to snooker us humans: encouraging us to take sides, run away from others, to pressure others, to get sick, to blame others, and to have great difficulty in seeing our part in problems. It is hard to see that we become anxious, stressed out and even that we are difficult to deal with. But "thinking systems" can open the doors of perception, allowing us to experience the world in a different way. This book offers both coaching ideas and stories from leaders as to strategies to break out from social control by de-triangling, using paradoxes, reversals and other types of interruptions of highly linked emotional processes. Time is needed to think clearly about the automatic nature of the two against one triangle. Time and experience is required as we learn strategies to put two people together and get self outside the control of the system. In addition, it takes time to clarify and define one's principles, to know what "I" will or will not do and to be able to take a stand with others with whom we are very involved. The good news is that systems' thinking is possible for anyone. It is always possible for an individual to understand feelings and to integrate them with their more rational brains. In so doing, an individual increases his or her ability to communicate despite misunderstandings or even rejection from important others. The effort involved in creating your Mindful Compass enables us to perceive the relationship system without experiencing it's threats. The four points on the Mindful Compass are: 1) Action for Self, 2) Resistance to Forward Progress, 3) Knowledge of Social Systems and the 4) The Ability to Stand Alone. Each gives us a view of the process one enters when making an effort to define a self and build an emotional backbone. It is not easy to find our way through the social jungle. The ability to know emotional systems well enough to take a position for self and to become more differentiated is part of the natural way humans cope with pressure. Now people can use available knowledge to build an emotional backbone, by thoughtfully altering their part in the relationship system. No one knows how far one can go by making an effort to be more of a self-defined individual in relationships to others. Through increasing emotional maturity, we can find greater individual freedom at the same time that we increase our ability to cooperate and to be close to others.
