Author: Joey Allgood

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2014-08-19

Total Pages: 54

ISBN-13: 9781500891480

Within these pages, you'll find 24 real weird works capable of enriching your life and entertaining your guests while they potty (let's be honest about where this book is going). Still, look a bit deeper, and you'll start uncovering commentary on subjects like existentialism, consumerism, feminism, and plus also bunches more -isms! I've spent countless hours crafting this collection of work, which is fortunate for you, because by reading this sentence you have implicitly agreed to purchase my book. Wow... this just got awkward, didn't it? I didn't want to trick you like that, but these things aren't cheap to print, and I couldn't risk you purchasing on merit alone. I mean, I can't PROVE you read that sentence, but what kind of person doesn't do the right thing and honor a totally dishonorable agreement? Right? I feel like you might still be waffling. Mostly because you're still reading this and not handing me your money. Let's see, you already know what's in it for me... Let's talk about what's in it for you! 1) You'll develop (or maintain) your reputation as a seasoned purveyor of all things eclectic and debonair. Putting this book on your coffee table is like wearing a pair of golden monocles. On the same eye. 2) You'll be a bona fide supporter of the arts, which not only makes you intrinsically superior to those uppity Johnsons, but also helps you get back an extra lil som'n-som'n come tax time. 3) I'll use your monies to help realize my dream of chucking a billion spaghetti noodles off the Empire State Building. Imagine the elation as wonderful, wet pasta begins showering the bewildered crowd below. And you, alongside other supporters of this nirvana moment, smiling with pride as you each raise a warm bowl of marinara. Buy the book. For you. For me. For the noodles.