When I Was Five I Killed Myself

When I Was Five I Killed Myself

Author: Howard Buten

Publisher: ABRAMS

Published: 2014-07-01

Total Pages: 161

ISBN-13: 1468309951

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

“[A] graceful and brilliant novel . . . leads the reader on a journey through childhood autism that proves enlightening as well as fascinating.” —ForeWord Magazine Burton Rembrandt has the sort of perspective on life that is almost impossible for adults to understand: the perspective of an eight-year-old. And to Burt, his parents and teachers seem to be speaking a language he cannot understand. This is Burt’s story as written in pencil on the walls of the Quiet Room in the Children’s Trust Residence Center, where he lands after expressing his ardent feelings for a classmate. It begins: When I was five I killed myself . . . In this rediscovered modern classic from “one of France’s best-loved contemporary writers,” Howard Buten renders with astounding insight and wry language the tale of a troubled—or perhaps just perfectly normal—young boy testing the boundaries of love and life (Time). “Buten uses his wit like a whip to get at the heart of this boy’s own story . . . bringing some shock and some power to that delicate line between youth and the rest of the world.” —The Austin Chronicle “This psychologically intense tale moves quickly, and the difficult task of creating a child’s voice with authenticity and depth proves Buten a gifted stylist and storyteller . . . [an] imaginative and provocative book.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review “Certainly Buten offers some insight into a troubled child’s mind.” —The New York Times Book Review


When I Was Five I Killed Myself

When I Was Five I Killed Myself

Author: Howard Buten

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2001-07

Total Pages: 196

ISBN-13: 0743423003

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

First published in France more than two decades ago, Buten's astonishing portrayal of childhood through the eyes of eight year-old Burton Rembrandt has become a revered classic of modern literature.


When I Was Five I Killed Myself

When I Was Five I Killed Myself

Author: Howard Buten

Publisher: Canongate Books

Published: 2014-01-23

Total Pages: 193

ISBN-13: 1782114122

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Burton Rembrandt has the sort of perspective on life that is impossible for most adults to comprehend: the perspective of an eight-year-old boy. And to Burt, his parents and teachers seem to be speaking a language he cannot understand. When Burt meets Jessica he finds solace from the problems of growing up, of dealing with parents and teachers and adults in general. But when he expresses the ardent love he feels for Jessica, he is placed in an institution with autistic, mentally retarded, sociopathic, and generally 'disturbed' children. This is Burt's story as written in pencil on the walls of the Quiet Room in The Children's Trust Residence Center. It begins: 'When I was five I killed myself...' This strange, funny and darkly touching tale explores the chasm between childhood and adulthood in the starkly honest words of a misunderstood little boy. When I Was Five I Killed Myself is considered a modern classic in France where it has sold over a million copies. Buten's writing is compared with Hemingway and J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye.


You Have Killed Me

You Have Killed Me

Author: Jamie S. Rich

Publisher: Oni Press

Published: 2018-02-27

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781620104361

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

The classic graphic novel collaboration from the minds behind LADY KILLER returns in a new softcover format! Antonio Mercer is a private eye by trade, a man bad luck seems to follow, as evidenced by his newest client—the sister of his former lover, Julie Roman, who's now disappeared. And Julie's sister, Jessica, is a real piece of work. Still, Mercer takes the case, getting entangled in the same family drama that drove him away. Well, maybe not exactly the same, because the Romans have made some... unsavory connections. As the bodies start piling up, Mercer has no choice but to see the case through to its end—or become one of its casualties.


The Knife That Killed Me

The Knife That Killed Me

Author: Anthony McGowan

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2012-01-31

Total Pages: 258

ISBN-13: 1448100321

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Anthony McGowan is the Carnegie Medal 2020 winning author of Lark. He is coming to kill me. Now would be a good time to run. I cannot run. I am too afraid to run. Paul Varderman could be at any normal school - bullies, girls and annoying teachers are just a part of life. Unfortunately 'normal' doesn't apply when it comes to the school's most evil bully, Roth, a twisted and threatening thug with an agenda quite unlike anyone else. When Paul ends up delivering a message from Roth to the leader of a gang at a nearby school, it fuels a rivalry with immediate consequences. Paul attempts to distance himself from the feud, but when Roth hands him a knife it both empowers him and scares him at the same time . . . This thought-provoking and original novel highlights the terrible consequences of peer pressure and violence, and casts a spotlight on the worrying rise in knife crime among teenagers.


My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

Author: Ryan O'Callaghan

Publisher: Akashic Books

Published: 2019-09-03

Total Pages: 161

ISBN-13: 1617757705

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A riveting account of life as a closeted professional athlete from gay NFL player O’Callaghan, against the backdrop of depression, opioid addiction, and the threat of suicide. “[O’Callaghan’s] story is one of beautiful vulnerability, and it further shows the importance of knowing you aren’t alone.” —Oprah Daily, recommended by Gayle King Ryan O’Callaghan’s plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself. Growing up in a politically conservative corner of California, the not-so-subtle messages he heard as a young man from his family and from TV and film routinely equated being gay with disease and death. Letting people in on the darkest secret he kept buried inside was not an option: better death with a secret than life as a gay man. As a kid , Ryan never envisioned just how far his football career would take him. He was recruited by the University of California, Berkeley, where he spent five seasons, playing alongside his friend Aaron Rodgers. Then it was on to the NFL for stints with the almost-undefeated New England Patriots and the often-defeated Kansas City Chiefs. Bubbling under the surface of Ryan’s entire NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and his hidden drug use. When the league caught him smoking pot, he turned to NFL-sanctioned prescription painkillers that quickly sent his life into a tailspin. As injuries mounted and his daily intake of opioids reached a near-lethal level, he wrote his suicide note to his parents and plotted his death. Yet someone had been watching. A member of the Chiefs organization stepped in, recognizing the signs of drug addiction. Ryan reluctantly sought psychological help, and it was there that he revealed his lifelong secret for the very first time. Nearing the twilight of his career, Ryan faced the ultimate decision: end it all, or find out if his family and football friends could ever accept a gay man in their lives.


How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Revised Edition

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Revised Edition

Author: Susan Rose Blauner

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2019-06-25

Total Pages: 287

ISBN-13: 0062936417

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

NOW WITH A NEW CHAPTER AND AN UPDATED RESOURCES SECTION Suicide has touched the lives of nearly half of all Americans, yet it is rarely talked about openly. In her highly acclaimed book, Susan Blauner—a survivor of multiple suicide attempts—offers guidance and hope for those contemplating ending their lives and for their loved ones. “Each word written with thoughtful intent; each story told with the deepest of honesty and humility, and in doing so Blauner puts forward a life-saving book."—Daniel J. Reidenberg, PsyD, Executive Director, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (www.save.org) “I continued to romanticize my death by suicide: who would find me; what I’d look like. I spent hundreds of hours planning my funeral, imagining the remorse of my family and friends. I wrote good-bye letters, composed wills, and disrupted the lives of everyone close to me. Then reality hit.”—Susan Rose Blauner The statistics on suicide are staggering. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds, and for each completed suicide there may be twenty or more attempts. In How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Susan Blauner is the perfect emissary for a message of hope and a program of action for these millions of people. A survivor of multiple suicide attempts, she explains the complex feelings and fantasies that surround suicidal thoughts. In a direct, nonjudgmental, and loving voice, she offers affirmations and suggestions for those experiencing life-ending thoughts, and for their friends and family. With an introduction by Bernie Siegel, M.D., this important, timely book has now been updated with a revised resources section, and a new chapter on the author’s experiences since the book’s initial publication.


Through the Glass Wall

Through the Glass Wall

Author: Howard Buten, Ph.D.

Publisher: Bantam

Published: 2007-12-18

Total Pages: 187

ISBN-13: 0307418650

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A remarkable testament of hope and love, these pages recount Howard Buten’s lifelong journey working with autistic children. For three decades his pioneering, often controversial approaches have enabled him to gain access to their strange and solitary universe—a universe he shares in a book that is unlike any you’ve ever read. From his first unforgettable encounter with a wild, clawing human hurricane in the form of a little boy named Adam S., clinical psychologist Howard Buten has sought ways into the seemingly closed world of the autistic child. Whether he’s done this by letting himself be pummeled, scratched, and bitten, or by imitating the child’s behaviors, or by feeling himself into what the child must be feeling, he has often been rewarded. With extraordinary insight and in ways that are powerfully moving, he brings to life as never before the innermost selves of these children. Among those you’ll meet in the clinic he founded in Paris are Lise, whose seemingly random movements are as expressive as a dancer’s; Florian, who can instantly tell you on which day of the week your birthday falls for any year, past or future; Martin, whose nonstop speech echoes the angry voices he has heard all around him, but who is impervious to the emotions they contain; and Hakim, a child so lost and so violent, no other institution will take him. Writing with a scientist’s clarity and a humanist’s heart, Buten conveys the reality of autism with passion, ruthlessness, humor, wisdom—and love. This is a book both heartbreaking and hopeful, and when he succeeds in breaching the invisible wall of aloneness that seems to separate the autistic from the rest of us, we cheer.


If He Had Been with Me

If He Had Been with Me

Author: Laura Nowlin

Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.

Published: 2013-04-02

Total Pages: 338

ISBN-13: 1402277849

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...


You Know Who Killed Me

You Know Who Killed Me

Author: Loren D. Estleman

Publisher: Forge Books

Published: 2014-12-09

Total Pages: 238

ISBN-13: 146683434X

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

In You Know Who Killed Me, by multiple award-winning author Loren D. Estleman, Amos Walker is at low ebb. Just released from a rehab clinic, the Detroit private detective has to marshal his energies to help solve a murder in Iroquois Heights, his least favorite town. The area is flooded with billboards rented by the widow of Donald Gates, an ordinary suburbanite found shot to death in his basement on New Year's Eve: "YOU KNOW WHO KILLED ME!" they read, above the number of the sheriff's tip line. Complicating matters is a $10,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the murderer, offered by an anonymous donor through the dead man's place of worship. Initially hired by the sheriff's department to run down anonymous tips, Walker investigates further. The trail leads to former fellow employee Yuri Yako, a Ukrainian mobster, relocated to the area through the U.S. Marshals' Witness Protection Program. Shadowed by government operatives, at odds with the sheriff, and struggling with his addiction, Walker soldiers on, in spite of bodies piling up and the fact that almost everyone involved with the case is lying to him. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.