A hilarious, faith building, and Christ-centred exploration of all the weird, crude, funny, and nude parts of the Bible that we rarely look at. Contains 15 exciting illustrations. Great for teenagers who struggle to engage with the Bible.
Matthew was a traitor.James and John wanted to blow up innocent people.Thomas doubted Jesus rose from the dead.Peter chopped off a guy's ear, then denied he even knew Jesus.Jesus' disciples were intolerant, selfish, violent, and dull. They were exactly the sorts of people you would think God couldn't use. Except that he did, and they changed the world. A Dozen Disappointing Disciples is an engaging, and often hilarious, look at the stupid stuff the twelve disciples did. You'll discover how Jesus used them, and how he can use you too. Fun, encouraging, and challenging, this book will help you see that not even your stupidity is any match for the power of Jesus.
In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
If you only had a few weeks to live, what would you place on your bucket list? Morbid I know, yet isn't it better to question this right now, rather than you depressingly admit you still have a million things to place on that list towards the end yourself? Lucy Webster wasn't lucky enough to live a long life, then at just twenty-five she too had to put together a list. Together with her heartbroken boyfriend, this is their story; her final few weeks, as they comically work their way through her true dreams and desires. A list like no other bucket has ever seen before, where if her life was to flash before her eyes, she would only need to vision this time to feel she achieved it all.
Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.
Human beings can relate to one another with either mutual respect and freedom or mutual attempts to control and force. Objectivists idealize the former; most of America practices the latter. Though Objectivists are fundamentally against relating to their fellow human beings with various methods of control (bribery, threats, manipulation, slavery), many do not hesitate to relate in that way to the young human beings we temporarily refer to as children. In this short book, Ross examines the contradiction and proposes a theory of Objectivist parenting.
Maggie Dempsey is tired of moving all over the country. Her parents are second-generation hippies who uproot her every year or so to move to a new city. When Maggie was younger, she thought it was fun and adventurous. Now that she’s a teenager, she hates it. When she moved after her freshman year, she left behind good friends, a great school, and a real feeling of belonging. When she moved her sophomore year, she left behind a boyfriend, too. Now that they’ve moved to Austin, she knows better. She’s not going to make friends. She’s not going to fit in. Anything to prevent her from liking this new place and them from liking her. Only . . . things don’t go exactly as planned.
USA Today & Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author, Jewel E. Ann returns with an addictive new adult romance about a young woman who discovers years of Sunday sermons didn't prepare her for the many lessons of the crude and sexy man who is now her boss. It's official. I'm eighteen and a young woman with endless possibilities on my way to reunite with my mom in Colorado after five years apart-she had a little weed incident in Nebraska. At the airport, she springs the news on me ... she's leaving for a month of job training. And me? I'm left on my own in the basement she's renting from the fisherman, aka her landlord who lives upstairs. He's ten years older than me. Never wears a shirt. And makes it hard to remember all the things I learned at Christian Academy. Did I mention he's also my new boss?
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LA TIMES BOOK PRIZE FINALIST NBCC JOHN LEONARD PRIZE FINALIST ONE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES'S MOST NOTABLE BOOKS OF 2017 ONE OF THE WASHINGTON POST’S MOST NOTABLE BOOKS OF 2017 ONE OF NPR’S ‘GREAT READS’ OF 2017 A USA TODAY BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR AN AMAZON.COM BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR A BUSINESS INSIDER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR "Impossible to put down." —NPR "A novel that readers will gulp down, gasping.” —The Washington Post "The word 'masterpiece' has been cheapened by too many blurbs, but My Absolute Darling absolutely is one." —Stephen King A brilliant and immersive, all-consuming read about one fourteen-year-old girl's heart-stopping fight for her own soul. Turtle Alveston is a survivor. At fourteen, she roams the woods along the northern California coast. The creeks, tide pools, and rocky islands are her haunts and her hiding grounds, and she is known to wander for miles. But while her physical world is expansive, her personal one is small and treacherous: Turtle has grown up isolated since the death of her mother, in the thrall of her tortured and charismatic father, Martin. Her social existence is confined to the middle school (where she fends off the interest of anyone, student or teacher, who might penetrate her shell) and to her life with her father. Then Turtle meets Jacob, a high-school boy who tells jokes, lives in a big clean house, and looks at Turtle as if she is the sunrise. And for the first time, the larger world begins to come into focus: her life with Martin is neither safe nor sustainable. Motivated by her first experience with real friendship and a teenage crush, Turtle starts to imagine escape, using the very survival skills her father devoted himself to teaching her. What follows is a harrowing story of bravery and redemption. With Turtle's escalating acts of physical and emotional courage, the reader watches, heart in throat, as this teenage girl struggles to become her own hero—and in the process, becomes ours as well. Shot through with striking language in a fierce natural setting, My Absolute Darling is an urgently told, profoundly moving read that marks the debut of an extraordinary new writer.