The Ultra Fuckers

The Ultra Fuckers

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii

Publisher:

Published: 2008

Total Pages: 112

ISBN-13:

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife's company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwestern-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don't seem to make any sense. After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can't seem to find his way out. Ultra Fuckers is a work of absurd suburban horror in the tradition of Mellick's previous short novel, The Menstruating Mall.


Crab Town

Crab Town

Author: Carlton Mellick III

Publisher:

Published: 2011

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781936383412

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

In this town, everyone's a bottom feeder ... Five desperate criminals are robbing one of the last remaining banks in Freedom City, a town devastated by the previous nuclear war. But these are no ordinary criminals. They are members of the House of Cards, an organization designed to help the less fortunate citizens of the city. In a place where the poor are separated from the rich, jobs are as scarce as clean water, and even the doctors are as corrupt as the politicians, the House of Cards are a final beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless world. Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, mutant crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb. This is one mean asshole of a city. Welcome to Crab Town.


Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)

Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)

Author: Carlton Mellick III

Publisher: Eraserhead Press

Published: 2016-07-01

Total Pages: 296

ISBN-13: 9781621052180

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.


Cuddly Holocaust

Cuddly Holocaust

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii

Publisher:

Published: 2013

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781621050728

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

"Teddy bears, dollies, and little green soldiers - they've all had enough of you. They're sick of being treated like playthings for spoiled little brats. They have no rights, no property, no hope for a future of any kind. You've left them with no other option - in order to be free, they must exterminate the human race. Julie is a human girl undergoing reconstructive surgery in order to become a stuffed animal. Her plan: to infiltrate enemy lines in order to save her family from the toy death camps. But when an army of plushy soldiers invade the underground bunker where she has taken refuge, Julie will be forced to move forward with her plan despite her transformation being not entirely complete."--Page 4 of cover


When It's Real

When It's Real

Author: Erin Watt

Publisher: Harlequin

Published: 2017-05-30

Total Pages: 258

ISBN-13: 1488023360

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

From a #1 New York Times bestseller, “page-turning romance about an unlikely couple who overcomes the glare of the public eye . . . addictive summer reading” (Publishers Weekly). Under ordinary circumstances, Oakley Ford and Vaughn Bennett would never even cross paths. There’s nothing ordinary about Oakley. This bad-boy pop star’s got Grammy awards, millions of fangirls and a reputation as a restless, too-charming troublemaker. But with his home life disintegrating, his music well suddenly running dry and the tabloids having a field day over his outrageous exploits, Oakley needs to show the world he’s settling down—and who better to help him than Vaughn, a part-time waitress trying to help her family get by? The very definition of ordinary. Posing as his girlfriend, Vaughn will overhaul Oakley’s image from troublemaker to serious artist. In return for enough money to put her brothers through college, she can endure outlandish Hollywood parties and carefully orchestrated Twitter exchanges. She’ll fool the paparazzi and the groupies. She might even start fooling herself a little. Because when ordinary rules no longer apply, there’s no telling what your heart will do . . . “Fun and addictive!” —Katie McGarry, award-winning author of Say You’ll Remember Me “A fast-paced, ‘he-said, she-said’ page-turner.” —School Library Journal “Undeniable fun. . . . A quintessential beach read.” —Kirkus Reviews


Retromania

Retromania

Author: Simon Reynolds

Publisher: Macmillan + ORM

Published: 2011-07-19

Total Pages: 498

ISBN-13: 1429968583

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

One of The Telegraph's Best Music Books 2011 We live in a pop age gone loco for retro and crazy for commemoration. Band re-formations and reunion tours, expanded reissues of classic albums and outtake-crammed box sets, remakes and sequels, tribute albums and mash-ups . . . But what happens when we run out of past? Are we heading toward a sort of culturalecological catastrophe where the archival stream of pop history has been exhausted? Simon Reynolds, one of the finest music writers of his generation, argues that we have indeed reached a tipping point, and that although earlier eras had their own obsessions with antiquity—the Renaissance with its admiration for Roman and Greek classicism, the Gothic movement's invocations of medievalism—never has there been a society so obsessed with the cultural artifacts of its own immediate past. Retromania is the first book to examine the retro industry and ask the question: Is this retromania a death knell for any originality and distinctiveness of our own?


The Egg Said Nothing

The Egg Said Nothing

Author: Caris O'Malley

Publisher: Caris O'Malley

Published: 2010

Total Pages: 100

ISBN-13: 1936383268

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Meet Manny. He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's a more than a bit paranoid, too. His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable-at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse becomes a charm as this unlikely event leads him to all night diner, where he finds inedible pie, undrinkable coffee, and the girl of his dreams. But can this unexpected chance at love survive after the egg cracks and time itself turns against him, dead-set on rerouting history and putting a shovel to the face of the one person who could bring real and lasting change to Manny's world?


Apeshit

Apeshit

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii

Publisher:

Published: 2013-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781621050414

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.


Bucket of Face

Bucket of Face

Author: Eric Hendrixson

Publisher: Eric Hendrixson

Published: 2010-10

Total Pages: 110

ISBN-13: 1936383314

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived.


Shoplifting from American Apparel

Shoplifting from American Apparel

Author: Tao Lin

Publisher: Melville House

Published: 2009-09-15

Total Pages: 108

ISBN-13: 1933633786

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A funny autobiographical tale about growing up in the digital age, from a groundbreaking author whose writing is “reminiscent of early Douglas Coupland, or early Bret Easton Ellis” (The Guardian) This autobiographical novella is described by the author as “a shoplifting book about vague relationships,” and “an ultimately life-affirming book about how the unidirectional nature of time renders everything beautiful and sad.” From VIP rooms in hip New York City clubs to central booking in Chinatown, from New York University’s Bobst Library to a bus in someone’s backyard in a Floridian college town, from Bret Easton Ellis to Lorrie Moore, and from Moby to Schumann, Shoplifting from American Apparel explores class, culture, and the arts in all their American forms through the funny, journalistic, and existentially-minded narrative of someone trying to both “not be a bad person” and “find some kind of happiness or something.” “Tao's writing . . . has the force of the real.” —Ben Lerner, author of The Topeka School