This book gives caregivers of chronically ill/disabled partners the knowledge and sophistication to take better care of themselves, and thereby take better care of their ill spouses. It challenges the wisdom of society's typical advice to caregivers: “suck it up,” “hang in there,” or “things could be worse.” These are messages of ignorance which imply there is no light at the end of the tunnel, that caregiving is a death sentence. Instead, this upbeat book educates and encourages the reader with a completely unique understanding of how relationships really work. The brain has a mind of its own and keeps track of the exchange of social credits with an Internal Ledger. Caregivers invest more than they can possibly get back from their spouse, so their internal ledger is perpetually out of balance. They feel “owed,” their interpersonal and intimacy needs are not met, and this leads to burnout and poor physical and mental health. This instruction manual can solve these problems.
Linda Abbit, founder of Tender Loving Eldercare and a veteran of the caregiving industry, shares her advice on taking care of an older parent or loved one and how to handle everything that goes along with this dramatic life change. Being a caregiver can be a difficult role. It requires patience, tenderness, selflessness, and hard work. Providing care for someone, whether it’s a parent, a loved one, or as a professional requires a high level of self-love and self-care. But while it may be a rewarding experience to care for a loved one, the emotional and physical stress of caregiving can lead to burnout and exhaustion—causing caregivers to put themselves and their own well-being in the background. How can you fulfill your role as a caregiver without losing yourself? Conscious Caregiver teaches you how to navigate caring for your loved one, whether it’s full-time in-house caregiving or hiring support from outside services. With information on how to talk to your loved ones about the situation, handle the emotional stress, stay financially secure, and take the time to care for yourself, this guide can help you care for your loved one and yourself at the same time.
From the critically acclaimed author of This Burns My Heart comes a “luminous mother-daughter saga” (Entertainment Weekly) about a young woman who is forced to flee 1980s Brazil for California, and in doing so unearths the hidden life of her enigmatic mother. Mara Alencar’s mother Ana is her moon, her sun, her stars. Ana, a struggling voice-over actress, is an admirably brave and recklessly impulsive woman who does everything in her power to care for her little girl in perilous 1980s Rio de Janeiro. With no other family or friends her own age, Ana eclipses Mara’s entire world. They take turns caring for each other—in ways big and small. But who is Ana, really? As she grows older, Mara slowly begins to piece together the many facets of Ana’s complicated life—a mother, a rebel, and always, an actress. When Ana becomes involved with a civilian rebel group attempting to undermine the city’s cruel Police Chief, their fragile arrangement begins to unravel. Mara is forced to flee the only home she’s ever known, for California, where she lives as an undocumented immigrant, caregiving for a dying woman. It’s here that she begins to grapple with her turbulent past and starts to uncover vital truths—about her mother, herself, and what it means to truly take care of someone. A “lovely and heartbreaking” (People) story that is “simultaneously dreamlike and visceral” (The Atlantic), The Caregiver is “a beautiful testament to Samuel Park’s extraordinary talents as a storyteller…that reads, in some moments, like a thriller—and, in others, like a meditation on what it means to be alive…A ferocious page-turner with deep wells of compassion for the struggles of the living—and the sins of the dead” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review).
In this no-nonsense guide to improving your love life, celebrated relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman helps women who are looking to break up with bad relationship patterns. Berman offers sage advice, touching personal stories, and the psychological evaluation you need to achieve long-lasting romance and sexual satisfaction. It's Not Him, It's You! is perfect for any woman who wants to take control of her love life and create the relationship she deserves. This book is ideal for single women having trouble finding love, as well as women already in relationships with challenges to overcome. Berman gives her reader the tools for everlasting love by identifying their damaging thought patterns, overcoming self-blame and lack of confidence, and acknowledging bad relationship choices so they're never repeated. Whether you’re looking to rejuvenate your marriage or embark on the love journey of a lifetime It’s Not Him, It’s You empowers women not wait for a man to fix things, but to be the change they want to see in their relationships.
In one out of three households, someone is a caregiver: women and men who give of body, mind and soul to care for the well being of others.These millions need help, more than financial and medical assistance. They need daily, practical help in reviving their spirits and avoiding burnout.Who are these caregivers? They are folks who have lived this tough life and felt the agonies and the boredom, yet they have extended compassion with a gentle word or a tender touch. As caregivers, they know anger, frustration, joy, laughter, purpose, mortality and immortality.This book is drawn from the wisdom of many caregivers and we have taken their advice: these are short, easy-to-read sections packed with wisdom and practical help! This book is designed to let readers jump in almost anywhere and explore at their own pace.Considering the millions of people worldwide who are caregivers, this book also is great for small-group study.
This book paints a realistic picture of what it was like for the author to be a caregiver, but its pages are aglow with hope and assurance that will resonate with all caregivers, inspiring and reminding them to trust God for the courage they need to face the tough issues. The author describes the daily worries, setbacks, missteps, and struggles that occurred when she suddenly found herself in the position of being the caregiver for her mother. All that entailed will be familiar to anyone involved in providing care for a parent or other adult, especially for one who desired to remain independent but was making unwise decisions. When we are called to do something especially challenging and difficult—such as caregiving—the author wants us to know that God can give us the special talents and abilities we need to handle each trying situation. She relates how, during those times when she sought God's guidance and reassurance, she was surprised and blessed by His specific and timely answers to her prayers. At other times, however, when the constant concerns and uncertainties threatened to overwhelm her, she admits that she ran ahead of God, forgetting how He had provided answers in the past, forgetting His tender care and concern for her—the caregiver. In spite of the challenges and difficulties of being a caregiver, the author saw that God was teaching her precious life lessons of patience, forgiveness, and love every day. These were His special gifts to her as a caregiver. It is the author's wish that this book will help caregivers everywhere to turn to God when they need strength and then share with everyone the hope and eternal life that awaits those who trust God and give their hearts to Jesus.
This book paints a realistic picture of what it was like for the author to be a caregiver, but its pages are aglow with hope and assurance that will resonate with all caregivers, inspiring and reminding them to trust God for the courage they need to face the tough issues. The author describes the daily worries, setbacks, missteps, and struggles that occurred when she suddenly found herself in the position of being the caregiver for her mother. All that entailed will be familiar to anyone involved in providing care for a parent or other adult, especially for one who desired to remain independent but was making unwise decisions. When we are called to do something especially challenging and difficult-such as caregiving-the author wants us to know that God can give us the special talents and abilities we need to handle each trying situation. She relates how, during those times when she sought God's guidance and reassurance, she was surprised and blessed by His specific and timely answers to her prayers. At other times, however, when the constant concerns and uncertainties threatened to overwhelm her, she admits that she ran ahead of God, forgetting how He had provided answers in the past, forgetting His tender care and concern for her-the caregiver. In spite of the challenges and difficulties of being a caregiver, the author saw that God was teaching her precious life lessons of patience, forgiveness, and love every day. These were His special gifts to her as a caregiver. It is the author's wish that this book will help caregivers everywhere to turn to God when they need strength and then share with everyone the hope and eternal life that awaits those who trust God and give their hearts to Jesus.
Linda Abbit, founder of Tender Loving Eldercare and a veteran of the caregiving industry, shares her advice on taking care of an older parent or loved one and how to handle everything that goes along with this dramatic life change. Being a caregiver can be a difficult role. It requires patience, tenderness, selflessness, and hard work. Providing care for someone, whether it’s a parent, a loved one, or as a professional requires a high level of self-love and self-care. But while it may be a rewarding experience to care for a loved one, the emotional and physical stress of caregiving can lead to burnout and exhaustion—causing caregivers to put themselves and their own well-being in the background. How can you fulfill your role as a caregiver without losing yourself? Conscious Caregiver teaches you how to navigate caring for your loved one, whether it’s full-time in-house caregiving or hiring support from outside services. With information on how to talk to your loved ones about the situation, handle the emotional stress, stay financially secure, and take the time to care for yourself, this guide can help you care for your loved one and yourself at the same time.
'A beautiful and important book that is both deeply engaging and usefully practical. I loved it.' CATHY RENTZENBRINK 'An insightful and well-timed book ... forces us to confront the stereotypes - and prejudices - we hold.' SUNDAY TIMES 'profoundly important...full of wisdom and bright insights on what it really means to love someone, by a fearless and generous writer. ' CLOVER STROUD 'A beautiful and timely reminder that each and every one of us has the ability to care, the capacity for empathy, and the potential to grow.' ANDY PUDDICOMBE, FOUNDER OF HEADSPACE 'A wonderful book: compassionate, honest, carefully-reasoned and genuinely helpful... This will benefit many people.' KATHERINE MAY, author of WINTERING 'An invaluable tool for any invisible carers or anyone who wants to learn how to better support their loved ones... we ALL have many, many things to learn from Penny's beautiful, wise, charming, thoughtful words' SCARLETT CURTIS, Sunday Times bestselling author 'Moving and beautifully written, nuanced and wise, alert to every paradox at the heart of love. A hugely important book not only for current or future carers, but anyone learning to accept that life tends to resist our control.' OLIVIA SUDJIC, author of EXPOSURE 'Tender captures the powerful capacity of people to care for others, and all the heartbreaking and heartwarming complexity that this involves. Penny brings the crucial, yet often overlooked, role of caring into our collective consciousness and, in doing so, demonstrates what it means to be human.' -DR EMMA HEPBURN, author of A TOOLKIT FOR MODERN LIFE 'Penny Wincer's TENDER manages to combine both unromanticised honesty about the realities of care with a genuine uplifting hopefulness... is a must-read.' RUTH WHIPPMAN, author of THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS We are all likely - at some point in our lives - to face the prospect of caring for another, whether it's a parent, child or partner. It is estimated that there are 7 million people in the UK caring for loved ones. And yet these are the unpaid, unsung people whose number is rising all the time. In Tender: the imperfect art of caring, Penny Wincer combines her own experiences as a carer with the experiences of others to offer real and transformative tools and insights for navigating a situation that many of us are either facing or will face at some time. Penny Wincer has twice been a carer: first to her mother, and now as a single parent to her autistic son. Tender shows how looking after oneself is a fundamental part of caring for another, and describes the qualities that we can look to cultivate in ourselves through what may otherwise feel to be an exhausting task. Weaving her lived experience with research into resilience, perfectionism and self-compassion, Penny combines the stories of other carers alongside those who receive support - offering an often surprising and hopeful perspective. Penny hosts a podcast Not Too Busy To Write.
