The Musician's Joke Book

The Musician's Joke Book

Author: Jim Green

Publisher: Omnibus Press

Published: 2010-06-07

Total Pages: 132

ISBN-13: 0857123696

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A side-splitting selection of one-liners, comic definitions, yarns and witty quotes from the world of music. Most professions have their own jokes, but musicians seem to have more than their fair share. Perhaps it's the insane travel schedule, the bad lodgings or just lack of sleep. But as Jim Green says in his introduction, "...it's not surprising we're a band apart (so to speak), outcasts who seek only our own company, rubbing two jokes together for warmth and trying to feel superior by sneering at one another's abilities and personalities." So maybe the reason musicians love poking fun at one another is nothing more than getting in first before everyone else does. Or perhaps choosing laughter is the only alternative to despair... Anyway, here is a truly great selection of jokes, quotes and stories from the world's second oldest profession. Enjoy! Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo? A: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim. Q: What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist? A: His amp. Q: Why was the clarinetist staring at the orange juice bottle? A: Because the label said "concentrate." "I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." Elvis Presley


The Great Rock 'N' Roll Joke Book

The Great Rock 'N' Roll Joke Book

Author: Dave Marsh

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 1997-09-15

Total Pages: 116

ISBN-13: 9780312168599

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How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of him. What do you call guys that hang out with musicians? Drummers. Here it is the dirty, the absurd, the witty side of rock and roll as it turns 50. The love of young America's music in its purest form: The Joke.


Music Jokes

Music Jokes

Author: Johnny B. Laughing

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

Published: 2016-06-20

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781534718661

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Funny Jokes About Music! Are you looking for the most funny and hilarious music jokes online? Do you want to dominate joke battles and be the funniest person around? This joke book will make you giggle for hours with some of the funniest jokes about music and musicians in the world. Including 100+ jokes! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy about music and musicians. These jokes are for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This joke book contains a ton of laugh out loud jokes! WARNING: You will laugh a lot! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: How is a heart like a musician? A: They both have a beat! HAHA! Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music. LOL! Q: Why did they arrest the musician? A: He got into treble. HAHA! Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. LOL! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bagpipe recital. HAHA! Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion. Funny and hilarious music and musician jokes! Your musician friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of musical jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about music and musicians will make everyone giggle and erupt with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!


The Musician's Joke Book: Knowing the Score

The Musician's Joke Book: Knowing the Score

Author: N. J. Groce

Publisher: Omnibus Press

Published: 1996-10-15

Total Pages: 110

ISBN-13: 1783234350

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The authoritative collection of music jokes, covering classical, pop, jazz, and folk, including everything from the truly stupid to the musically complex joke.


The Silliest Joke Book Ever

The Silliest Joke Book Ever

Author:

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2003-09-04

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 0141945443

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A hilariously funny book containing hundreds of jokes on every subject under the sun, as well as the favourite jokes of famous celebrities. All royalties will be going to the Jeans for Genes Appeal in association with Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital. The appeal funds research into genetic disorders in children. A Jeans for Genes Day is held every year when people are invited to wear their jeans for a £1 donation.


Infinitum

Infinitum

Author: Tim Fielder

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2021-01-19

Total Pages: 291

ISBN-13: 0063067889

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Afrofuturism, a movement that began in the Black community during the early 20th Century as an escape from racial hostility, economic turmoil, and aggressive policing, is enjoying a renaissance witnessed by the record-breaking success of creative projects, including the Oscar-winning Marvel Studios film, Black Panther; Regina King’s Emmy-winning HBO superhero tale, Watchmen; Janelle Monae’s hit album, Dirty Computer; Jordan Peele’s provocative feature Get Out; Octavia Butler’s famed science fiction novel, Kindred; and Beyonce’s visual album Black Is King. Now comes Afrofuturist Tim Fielder’s beautifully written and rendered INFINITUM. In INFINITUM, King Aja Ọba and Queen Lewa are revered across the African continent for their impressive political and military skills. Yet the future of their kingdom is in jeopardy, for the royal couple do not have an heir of their own. When the King kidnaps his son born to a concubine, Obinrin, she curses Ọba with the “gift” of immortality. After enjoying long, wonderful lives both, Queen Lewa and the crown prince die naturally, leaving the ageless bereaved King Ọba heartbroken and alone. Taking advantage of Ọba’s vulnerability, enemy nations rise to power and kill the king – or so they think. King Aja Ọba survives the fatal attack, finally realizing the bitter fruit of Obinrin’s curse. For millennia, the immortal Ọba wanders the earth, mourning his lost subjects and searching for a new kingdom. His journey leads him across time, allowing him to witness the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the New World, and the American Civil Rights Movement. The expansion of global technology brings about intergalactic travel, first contact with an alien species, and conflicts within and ultimately outside the known universe. Thrust into these seminal events, Ọba, now known by many as “John,” faces harrowing decisions that will determine mankind’s physical and spiritual trajectory. In 280 plus stunningly emotional and evocative full-color images, INFINITUM presents a unique cosmic experience, addressing issues of racism, classism, gender inequity, the encroachment of technology and the spiritual cost of war, while exposing the history behind ancient mysteries.


The JOKE

The JOKE

Author: Milan Kundera

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 1993-02-26

Total Pages: 340

ISBN-13: 006099505X

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All too often, this brilliant novel of thwarted love and revenge miscarried has been read for its political implications. Now, a quarter century after The Joke was first published and several years after the collapse of the Soviet-imposed Czechoslovak regime, it becomes easier to put such implications into perspective in favor of valuing the book (and all Kundera 's work) as what it truly is: great, stirring literature that sheds new light on the eternal themes of human existence. The present edition provides English-language readers an important further means toward revaluation of The Joke. For reasons he describes in his Author's Note, Milan Kundera devoted much time to creating (with the assistance of his American publisher-editor) a completely revised translation that reflects his original as closely as any translation possibly can: reflects it in its fidelity not only to the words and syntax but also to the characteristic dictions and tonalities of the novel's narrators. The result is nothing less than the restoration of a classic.


The Big Liszt of Music Jokes

The Big Liszt of Music Jokes

Author: F. Adams

Publisher:

Published: 2017-10-29

Total Pages: 168

ISBN-13: 9781973171034

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Most professions have their own in-jokes but musicians, given to arrogance, pretension, bad housing, lack of sleep and far too much travelling, seem to have an *especially* large back-catalogue.Most music humour is self-deprecating, well perhaps not so much *self* deprecating as abusing other musicians who have committed the unforgivable folly of choosing a different instrument or genre.This book is a collection of well over 600 one liners, humorous lists and definitions spanning classical, rock, folk, jazz, country **and** western, mocking over 50 instruments and their players along the way. Not content with mocking musicians this book mocks drummers too.


"No Legs, No Jokes, No Chance"

Author: Sheldon Patinkin

Publisher: Northwestern University Press

Published: 2008-05-20

Total Pages: 601

ISBN-13: 0810119943

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Traces the American musical from its rich beginnings in European opera. This book talks about the infancy of the musical - the revues, operettas, and early musical comedies, as well as the groundbreaking shows like "Oklahoma!" and "Show Boat", with references to how history, literature, fashion, popular music and movies influenced musical theater.