The Monogamy Gap
The Monogamy Gap

Author: Eric Anderson

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Published: 2012-03-21

Total Pages: 388

ISBN-13: 0199943907

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Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally-detached recreational sex with others. Anderson coins the term "the monogamy gap" to describe this phenomenon. Anderson suggests that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires. Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation. The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them. Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay, readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.

The Myth of Monogamy
The Myth of Monogamy

Author: David P. Barash

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2002-05

Total Pages: 244

ISBN-13: 9780805071368

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Applying new research to sex in the animal world, the authors dispel the notion that monogamy comes naturally. As "The Myth of Monogamy" reveals, biologists have discovered that for nearly every species, cheating is the rule--for both sexes.

Inclusive Masculinity
Inclusive Masculinity

Author: Eric Anderson

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2010-09-13

Total Pages: 204

ISBN-13: 1135227179

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Drawing on qualitative studies of athletes and fraternity members, this book describes the rapidly changing world of masculinities among men in both the US and England. This groundbreaking analysis of masculinity and young men will be of interest to students and faculty members within Sociology, Gender Studies, and Sport Studies.

Mind the Gap
Mind the Gap

Author: Karen Gurney

Publisher: Headline Home

Published: 2020-03-05

Total Pages: 336

ISBN-13: 9781472267139

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'This book taught me so much about female desire. A must read!' Cherry Healey Did you know that there is an orgasm gap of around 30% between heterosexual couples when they have sex? In Mind The Gap, Dr Karen Gurney, a clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist, explores not just this gap, but the gaps in our knowledge of so much of the most important new science around sex and desire. In this book, you will learn that nearly everything that you've been led to believe about female sexuality isn't actually true. And that, despite what you might think, it is possible to simultaneously feel little to no spontaneous desire and have a happy and mutually satisfying sex life long term. Exploring the mismatch between ideas about sex in our society and what the science tells us, Mind The Gap also explains how this disconnect lies at the root of many of our sexual problems. Combining science with case studies, practical exercises and tips, this is a book for anyone who wants to better understand the mechanics of desire and futureproof their sex life, for life.

Cheap Sex
Cheap Sex

Author: Mark Regnerus

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Published: 2017-08-02

Total Pages: 281

ISBN-13: 019067363X

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Sex is cheap. Coupled sexual activity has become more widely available than ever. Cheap sex has been made possible by two technologies that have little to do with each other - the Pill and high-quality pornography - and its distribution made more efficient by a third technological innovation, online dating. Together, they drive down the cost of real sex, and in turn slow the development of love, make fidelity more challenging, sexual malleability more common, and have even taken a toll on men's marriageability. Cheap Sex takes readers on an extended tour inside the American mating market, and highlights key patterns that characterize young adults' experience today, including the timing of first sex in relationships, overlapping partners, frustrating returns on their relational investments, and a failure to link future goals like marriage with how they navigate their current relationships. Drawing upon several large nationally-representative surveys, in-person interviews with 100 men and women, and the assertions of scholars ranging from evolutionary psychologists to gender theorists, what emerges is a story about social change, technological breakthroughs, and unintended consequences. Men and women have not fundamentally changed, but their unions have. No longer playing a supporting role in relationships, sex has emerged as a central priority in relationship development and continuation. But unravel the layers, and it is obvious that the emergence of "industrial sex" is far more a reflection of men's interests than women's.

The Pleasure Gap
The Pleasure Gap

Author: Katherine Rowland

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2020-02-04

Total Pages: 304

ISBN-13: 1580058345

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American culture is more sexually liberal than ever. But compared to men, women's sexual pleasure has not grown: Up to 40 percent of American women experience the sexual malaise clinically known as low sexual desire. Between this low desire, muted pleasure, and experiencing sex in terms of labor rather than of lust, women by the millions are dissatisfied with their erotic lives. For too long, this deficit has been explained in terms of women's biology, stress, and age. In The Pleasure Gap, Katherine Rowland rejects the idea that women should settle for diminished pleasure; instead, she argues women should take inequality in the bedroom as seriously as we take it in the workplace and understand its causes and effects. Drawing on extensive research and interviews with more than one hundred women and dozens of sexual health professionals, Rowland shows that the pleasure gap is neither medical malady nor psychological condition but rather a result of our culture's troubled relationship with women's sexual expression. This provocative exploration of modern sexuality makes a case for closing the gap for good.

Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You
Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You

Author: Agustín Fuentes

Publisher: Univ of California Press

Published: 2015-05

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 0520285999

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There are three major myths of human nature: humans are divided into biological races; humans are naturally aggressive; and men and women are truly different in behavior, desires, and wiring. In an engaging and wide-ranging narrative, Agustín Fuentes counters these pervasive and pernicious myths about human behavior. Tackling misconceptions about what race, aggression, and sex really mean for humans, Fuentes incorporates an accessible understanding of culture, genetics, and evolution, requiring us to dispose of notions of “nature or nurture.” Presenting scientific evidence from diverse fields—including anthropology, biology, and psychology—Fuentes devises a myth-busting toolkit to dismantle persistent fallacies about the validity of biological races, the innateness of aggression and violence, and the nature of monogamy and differences between the sexes. A final chapter plus an appendix provide a set of take-home points on how readers can myth-bust on their own. Accessible, compelling, and original, this book is a rich and nuanced account of how nature, culture, experience, and choice interact to influence human behavior.

Polysecure
Polysecure

Author: Jessica Fern

Publisher:

Published: 2022-09

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 9781914484957

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A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual non-monogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecureis both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides non-monogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.

Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You, Second Edition
Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You, Second Edition

Author: Agustín Fuentes

Publisher: Univ of California Press

Published: 2022-05-10

Total Pages: 349

ISBN-13: 0520379608

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A compelling takedown of prevailing myths about human behavior, updated and expanded to meet the current moment. There are three major myths of human nature: humans are divided into biological races; humans are naturally aggressive; and men and women are wholly different in behavior, desires, and wiring. Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You counters these pervasive and pernicious myths about human behavior. Agustín Fuentes tackles misconceptions about what race, aggression, and sex really mean for humans, and incorporates an accessible understanding of culture, genetics, and evolution that requires us to dispose of notions of "nature or nurture." Presenting scientific evidence from diverse fields, including anthropology, biology, and psychology, Fuentes devises a myth-busting toolkit to dismantle persistent fallacies about the validity of biological races, the innateness of aggression and violence, and the nature of monogamy, sex, and gender. This revised and expanded edition provides up-to-date references, data, and analyses, and addresses new topics, including the popularity of home DNA testing kits and the lies behind ‘"incel" culture; the resurgence of racist, nativist thinking and the internet's influence in promoting bad science; and a broader understanding of the diversity of sex and gender.

The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife
The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife

Author: Alicia M. Walker

Publisher: Lexington Books

Published: 2017-10-24

Total Pages: 205

ISBN-13: 1498544614

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Using a sample collected from Ashley Madison, this book is the result of a yearlong inquiry into women’s extramarital experiences. Ultimately, these women reject the binary proposition of marriage that assumes that either we work on our marriages and remain monogamous within them, or we break up the relationship and take up other relationships. These women conceive of an alternate solution to a marriage that is not wholly working, where their own needs are ignored, unmet, and not prioritized. Thus, the women in this study are engaging in secret defiance of the expectations of marriage and primary partnerships. This book gives voice to women’s experiences and perceptions regarding their participation in infidelity, and glimpses into the interworkings of our most intimate relationships, and the ways women negotiate marriages that fall short of their expectations.