A jam-fuelled week of disaster is set in motion by a single doughnut! Roman Garstang is obsessed with food - particularly Squidgy Splodge raspberry-jam doughnuts - but he is about to learn that things are not always as sugar-coated as they might seem. Because of his Monday-morning jam doughnut, Roman's week takes a very sticky turn . . . By Friday Roman has been banned from eating for 24hrs, narrowly avoided a faceful of warm toddler-wee, accidentally shoplifted, been given a lift in a getaway van, styled his teacher's guinea pig with a blue mohawk, started an OAP riot . . . and still barely managed to scoff a crumb - or lick - of a single doughnut. Who knew jam could be so deadly?
An outdoor adventure trip is one thing, but can Roman Garstang survive a chicken nugget-only diet? Roman Garstang is all set for his class trip to Farm View outdoor survival centre. There are only three issues: 1. With Darren Gamble as his new 'BFF' how can Roman make friends with funny, cool girl Vanya? 2. Roman will be sharing a tent with Kevin (AKA 'The Pukelear Missile') for THREE DAYS 3. Mum has prescribed a strict chicken nugget-only diet (Seriously?!) It's time to put his new survival skills to the test . . .
Fourteen-year-old Mike Swarbrick's life couldn't get any worse... His pervy best friend gets him embroiled in a scandal, and he's just come home from school to discover his parents are secret nudists... and they're ready to go public! A chain of events beyond his control are set to RUIN HIS LIFE. When Mike's teachers think that he's having trouble 'dealing with his feelings', he's forced to meet with the school counsellor. And so begin Mike's 'Chats with Chas', which really are as humiliating and cringe-worthy as they sound...
How far would you go to say goodbye? Martin and Charlie are journeying 421 miles across England to find out, but are they prepared for what they find when they get there? Thirteen-year-old Martin and his younger brother Charlie are on a very special journey. They're traveling 421 miles all the way from Preston in northern England to the very tip of Cornwall in the southwest. By train, bus, and taxi, they are determined to get there to catch a glimpse of the dolphin that regularly visits the harbor and made last year's family vacation so special. But is that the only reason they are going? Mom stays in bed all day and Dad is always at work. Martin is doing his best to be a good big brother, but Martin must come to terms with why he and Charlie are making the journey to Cornwall in the first place. Charlie and Me is an unforgettable novel that is funny, adventurous, and heartbreaking.
Mark Lowery is far too funny - Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM Roman endures a royal visit and a school fashion show - in a jumper knitted by his Grandma . . . Grandma has come to stay for the royal visit by Princess Lucy to launch her new badger charity, 'Badges for Badgers'. Which would be fine, if she hadn't knitted Roman the crummiest jumper (AKA "crumper") on earth that he's forced to wear to school. His whole class is in a fundraising frenzy, led by fame-crazy Rosie Taylor who is convinced that organising a charity fashion show is bound to win her favour with the princess. And in a bid of fierce cruelty she has sponsored Roman to wear his crumper ALL WEEK, even after Gamble tries to flush it down the toilet. When the jumper causes a swan attack and a biker to swerve off the road, can Roman keep his whole life from unravelling? A new side-splitting story in the Roman Garstang Disaster series.
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The fifth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series It's the end of term for Roman - the last week ever of primary school, in fact. And in what should be an unremarkable, tying-things-up kind of week, Roman's class get the opposite - a very special visitor. One Jason Grooves - ex-pupil turned mega-famous singer. Jason is back at school to film his new reality TV show - Jason: Grooving on to the Next Chapter. He's got big plans, and he wants Roman and all the class to get in with the action. Filming, proms, auditions, charity gigs and the launch of his brand-new food lines, including some very special spaghetti hoops ... All Roman Garstang wants is a quiet life. But is he going to get one? You bet not ...
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The fourth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series Incredibly, unbelievably, Roman's cousin is marrying the cousin of Rosie Taylor (AKA The Worst Person Who Ever Lived) cousin. Roman can't believe this (as Rosie says: "How can we be in the same family, we're barely in the same species"). Rosie's parents decide they should go along together and "make a weekend of it". Roman's plus one is his best friend Gamble (probably the naughtiest kid in Europe) - and it's the beginning of another big, messy, catastrophic and uproarious adventure for Roman - with Winnebagos, illegal thrash metal festivals and campsite beauty contests all thrown into the mix ...
NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • Celebrated food blogger and best-selling cookbook author Deb Perelman knows just the thing for a Tuesday night, or your most special occasion—from salads and slaws that make perfect side dishes (or a full meal) to savory tarts and galettes; from Mushroom Bourguignon to Chocolate Hazelnut Crepe. “Innovative, creative, and effortlessly funny." —Cooking Light Deb Perelman loves to cook. She isn’t a chef or a restaurant owner—she’s never even waitressed. Cooking in her tiny Manhattan kitchen was, at least at first, for special occasions—and, too often, an unnecessarily daunting venture. Deb found herself overwhelmed by the number of recipes available to her. Have you ever searched for the perfect birthday cake on Google? You’ll get more than three million results. Where do you start? What if you pick a recipe that’s downright bad? With the same warmth, candor, and can-do spirit her award-winning blog, Smitten Kitchen, is known for, here Deb presents more than 100 recipes—almost entirely new, plus a few favorites from the site—that guarantee delicious results every time. Gorgeously illustrated with hundreds of her beautiful color photographs, The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook is all about approachable, uncompromised home cooking. Here you’ll find better uses for your favorite vegetables: asparagus blanketing a pizza; ratatouille dressing up a sandwich; cauliflower masquerading as pesto. These are recipes you’ll bookmark and use so often they become your own, recipes you’ll slip to a friend who wants to impress her new in-laws, and recipes with simple ingredients that yield amazing results in a minimum amount of time. Deb tells you her favorite summer cocktail; how to lose your fear of cooking for a crowd; and the essential items you need for your own kitchen. From salads and slaws that make perfect side dishes (or a full meal) to savory tarts and galettes; from Mushroom Bourguignon to Chocolate Hazelnut Crepe Cake, Deb knows just the thing for a Tuesday night, or your most special occasion. Look for Deb Perelman’s latest cookbook, Smitten Kitchen Keepers!
Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.
'Mark Lowery is far too funny' Jonathan Meres, author of THE WORLD OF NORM The sixth book in the hilarious and anarchic ROMAN GARSTANG ADVENTURE series It is the month before Christmas, and Roman's class is preparing for the Christmas fete and the school pantomime. The new teacher at the helm - the awful Mr Le Salle, a flamboyant, theatrical and downright nasty piece of work - is the least of Roman's worries. He also has to contend with the most rubbish role in the panto (being a box) as well as organising the Santa's grotto stall at the Christmas fete with loose cannon Darren Gamble. As the panto nears, it seems that everything that could possibly go wrong is about to. It is left to Roman to save the panto and the day ...
