The Burdens of Intimacy

The Burdens of Intimacy

Author: Christopher Lane

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 1999

Total Pages: 348

ISBN-13: 9780226468600

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Why does passion bewilder and torment so many Victorian protagonists? And why do so many literary characters experience moments of ecstasy before their deaths? In this original study, Christopher Lane shows why Victorian fiction conveys both the pleasure and anguish of intimacy. Examining works by Bulwer-Lytton, Swinburne, Schreiner, Hardy, James, Santayana, and Forster, he argues that these writers struggled with aspects of psychology that were undermining the utilitarian ethos of the Victorian age. Lane discredits the conservative notion that Victorian literature expresses only a demand for repression and moral restraint. But he also refutes historicist and Foucauldian approaches, arguing that they dismiss the very idea of repression and end up denouncing psychoanalysis as complicit in various kinds of oppression. These approaches, Lane argues, reduce Victorian literature to a drama about politics, power, and the ego. Striving instead to reinvigorate discussions of fantasy and the unconscious, Lane offers a clear, often startling account of writers who grapple with the genuine complexities of love, desire, and friendship.


The Burdens of Intimacy

The Burdens of Intimacy

Author: Christopher Lane

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 1999

Total Pages: 352

ISBN-13: 9780226468594

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Why does passion bewilder and torment so many Victorian protagonists? And why do so many literary characters experience moments of ecstasy before their deaths? In this original study, Christopher Lane shows why Victorian fiction conveys both the pleasure and anguish of intimacy. Examining works by Bulwer-Lytton, Swinburne, Schreiner, Hardy, James, Santayana, and Forster, he argues that these writers struggled with aspects of psychology that were undermining the utilitarian ethos of the Victorian age. Lane discredits the conservative notion that Victorian literature expresses only a demand for repression and moral restraint. But he also refutes historicist and Foucauldian approaches, arguing that they dismiss the very idea of repression and end up denouncing psychoanalysis as complicit in various kinds of oppression. These approaches, Lane argues, reduce Victorian literature to a drama about politics, power, and the ego. Striving instead to reinvigorate discussions of fantasy and the unconscious, Lane offers a clear, often startling account of writers who grapple with the genuine complexities of love, desire, and friendship.


Breaking the Rules

Breaking the Rules

Author: Fil Anderson

Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com

Published: 2011-03-16

Total Pages: 318

ISBN-13: 1458732118

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After years of living with a set of religious demands that he could never live up to, Fil Anderson found himself spiritually bankrupt and emotionally drained. Following a crash-and-burn in professional ministry, he experienced relief in learning to be with God rather than doing for God. Instead of desperation, he found healing, and a rich new life with God.In Breaking the Rules, Fil invites us to explore what happens when good religion turns bad. At such times we are weighed down with expectations of what it takes to be "right with God"--whether it is the expectations of others, holding up under pressure, fixing what's wrong or accomplishing big things for God.When we set aside this false agenda, we find the courage to confess our fears and insecurities. We taste the depths of God's love for us. Here is an opportunity to quit trusting in your own ability to live for God, and simply trust in God instead.


Intimate Japan

Intimate Japan

Author: Allison Alexy

Publisher: University of Hawaii Press

Published: 2019-01-31

Total Pages: 289

ISBN-13: 082488244X

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How do couples build intimacy in an era that valorizes independence and self-responsibility? How can a man be a good husband when full-time jobs are scarce? How can unmarried women find fulfillment and recognition outside of normative relationships? How can a person express their sexuality when there is no terminology that feels right? In contemporary Japan, broad social transformations are reflected and refracted in changing intimate relationships. As the Japanese population ages, the low birth rate shrinks the population, and decades of recession radically restructure labor markets, Japanese intimate relationships, norms, and ideals are concurrently shifting. This volume explores a broad range of intimate practices in Japan in the first decades of the 2000s to trace how social change is becoming manifest through deeply personal choices. From young people making decisions about birth control to spouses struggling to connect with each other, parents worrying about stigma faced by their adopted children, and queer people creating new terms to express their identifications, Japanese intimacies are commanding a surprising amount of attention, both within and beyond Japan. With ethnographic analysis focused on how intimacy is imagined, enacted, and discussed, the volume's chapters offer rich and complex portraits of how people balance personal desires with feasible possibilities and shifting social norms. Intimate Japan will appeal to scholars and students in anthropology and Japanese or Asian studies, particularly those focusing on gender, kinship, sexuality, and labor policy. The book will also be of interest to researchers across social science subject areas, including sociology, political science, and psychology.


The Discipline of Intimacy

The Discipline of Intimacy

Author: Charlie Cleverly

Publisher: David C Cook

Published: 2019-07-01

Total Pages: 287

ISBN-13: 083077856X

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People who pray are those who break through, who hold on, who stand in the gap, who will not be silent, and even who change history. But they are also those who wait in the silence, sometimes in the sorrows, who contemplate His beauty, and stand in awe. The Discipline of Intimacy looks at the dynamic paradox of prayer: knowing how to be still and silent but also how to plead and speak. Knowing how to let go but also how to hold on. For individuals and church groups, The Discipline of Intimacy is for anyone seeking help to develop their relationship with God, particularly where once-passionate hearts may have lost their spark. With accompanying videos and questions for reflection and discussion, readers and participants will be introduced to practical and biblically-rooted ways to experience the intimacy with God they have longed for, and will have the tools to cultivate a life that is characterized by this closeness.


Heavy Burdens

Heavy Burdens

Author: Bridget Eileen Rivera

Publisher: Brazos Press

Published: 2021-10-26

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 1493432672

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Religious faith reduces the risk of suicide for virtually every American demographic except one: LGBTQ people. Generations of LGBTQ people have been alienated or condemned by Christian communities. It's past time that Christians confronted the ongoing and devastating effects of this legacy. Many LGBTQ people face overwhelming challenges in navigating faith, gender, and sexuality. Christian communities that uphold the traditional sexual ethic often unwittingly make the path more difficult through unexamined attitudes and practices. Drawing on her sociological training and her leadership in the Side B/Revoice conversation, Bridget Eileen Rivera, who founded the popular website Meditations of a Traveling Nun, speaks to the pain of LGBTQ Christians and helps churches develop a better pastoral approach. Rivera calls to mind Jesus's woe to religious leaders: "They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them" (Matt. 23:4). Heavy Burdens provides an honest account of seven ways LGBTQ people experience discrimination in the church, helping Christians grapple with hard realities and empowering churches across the theological spectrum to navigate better paths forward.


The Seven Levels of Intimacy

The Seven Levels of Intimacy

Author: Matthew Kelly

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2005-11

Total Pages: 289

ISBN-13: 0743265114

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We All Crave An Authentic Experience Of Intimacy. Though our hearts crave intimacy, though our minds understand our deep need for it, the self-revelation it requires is often too daunting a task. Complete and unrestrained sharing of self exposes the deepest human fear of being rejected for being ourselves. InThe Seven Levels of Intimacy,Matthew Kelly both acknowledges and calms our fears, while teaching us how to move beyond them to experience the power of true intimacy.Matthew reveals that each relationship is built upon a pattern of interaction. In the beginning stages, we rely on casual interactions, gaining familiarity by focusing on superficialities and facts. We grow closer and begin to share our opinions, learning to accept each other and embrace the growing relationship despite the difference in our experiences and viewpoints. Once our differences and opinions are shared and accepted, we feel safe enough to reveal our hopes, dreams, and feelings, developing trust. With this trust, we open ourselves and are able to share our legitimate needs, becoming liberated from carrying the burden of our real needs alone. At last, we are deeply intimate and both willing and able to reveal our deepest fears. We are beyond judgment and feel trust and acceptance. By moving through and building upon each level of intimacy, we find comfort and gain trust in our partners and ourselves until, by developing and deepening our intimacy within each level, we are able to fully open ourselves, finally opening to the possibility of truly being loved. It is through mastering the seven levels of intimacy that we will break through to fully experiencing love, commitment, trust, and happiness.The Seven Levels of Intimacyis a brilliant and practical guide to creating and sustaining intimacy, whether you are looking for a deeper sense of connection with your spouse, looking for more fulfillment in your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, trying to improve your relationships with your children, or simply wondering what you should be looking for in a partner.With profound insight and the use of powerful, everyday examples, Matthew Kelly explains how we can nurture the intimacy in our relationships.The Seven Levels of Intimacyredefines how we view our interactions with others. This new understanding leads us to successfully create the strong connections, deep joy, and lasting bonds that we all long for.


A Lifetime of Love

A Lifetime of Love

Author: Daphne Rose Kingma

Publisher: Mango Media

Published: 1998-02-01

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 1609254554

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A guide to building a better, more intimate relationship with your significant other from the author of Coming Apart and The Future of Love. Whether your relationship is just beginning, or you are celebrating your twenty-fifth anniversary, A Lifetime of Love offers sixty-five prescriptions for helping you achieve lasting love. You will discover how to have deeper intimacy, transcendent moments, and a wonderful soul connection. Follow the light of love with your treasured one. Work on your relationship through self-improvement, whether you have just started dating or have been in a marriage for years. Author Daphne Rose Kingma provides tips and pointers on ways to keep the romance alive such as dinner conversation starters. She wants you to feel the fire but also learn how to commit fully and gladly. Learn about intimacy through vulnerability, and ways to trust and love your partner and encourage longevity in your relationship. Praise for A Lifetime of Love “In a series of brief and enchanting essays, Daphne Rose Kingma delineates the spiritual dimensions of an intimate relationship. The challenge is to cherish each other’s souls and to champion each other’s spiritual growth. This means attending to the unfolding of your relationship with heart; sharing transcendental moments; learning the language of intimacy; being gentle, patient, and kind; practicing the art of empathy; and integrating the divine erotic. Kingma believes that mutual spiritual growth involves grace, hope, and wisdom. A Lifetime of Love shines a light on the path to the spiritual possibilities of love.” —Spirituality & Practice


The Neutered Mother, The Sexual Family and Other Twentieth Century Tragedies

The Neutered Mother, The Sexual Family and Other Twentieth Century Tragedies

Author: Martha Albertson Fineman

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2014-04-04

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 1136654836

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Calling for nothing less than a radical reform of family law and a reconception of intimacy, The Neutered Mother, The Sexual Family, and Other Twentieth Century Tragedies argues strongly against current legal and social policy discussions about the family because they do not have at their core the crucial concepts of caregiving and dependency, as well as the best interests of women and children. The Neutered Mother scrutinizes the definitions of family and mother throughout the volume while paying close attention to issues of race, class and sexuality. In addition, Fienman convincingly contests society's refusal to dignify, support and respond to the needs of caregivers and illustrates the burden they must bear due to this treatment. This book is a crucial step toward defining America's most pressing social policy problems having to do with women, motherhood and the family.


Since I Laid My Burden Down

Since I Laid My Burden Down

Author: Brontez Purnell

Publisher: The Feminist Press at CUNY

Published: 2017-05-22

Total Pages: 81

ISBN-13: 155861432X

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An uninhibited portrait of growing up gay in 1980s Alabama: exploring art and sex with “more layered insight than the page count should allow” (Hanif Abdurraqib, MTV News). DeShawn lives a high, creative, and promiscuous life in San Francisco. But when he’s called back to his cramped Alabama hometown for his uncle’s funeral, he’s hit by flashbacks of handsome, doomed neighbors and sweltering Sunday services. Amidst prickly reminders of his childhood, DeShawn ponders family, church, and the men in his life, prompting the question: Who deserves love? A modern American classic, Since I Laid My Burden Down is a raw and searing look into the intersections of memory, Blackness, and queerness. “Performance artist Purnell beautifully captures a personality through introspection and memory in this slim novel . . . a compelling portrait of a particular disaffected kind of gay youth caught between religion, culture, and desire.” —Publishers Weekly “It’s a true novel, chaptered, and bound, that not only holds its own as queer literature, with its unapologetically misanthropic narrative, but also expands upon it.” —San Francisco Chronicle “An antidote to the rigamarole of gay lit.” —Mask Magazine “Slim yet potently realized, with a lot to ponder.” —The Bay Area Reporter “Since I Laid My Burden Down has a fearless (sometimes reckless) humor as Brontez Purnell interrogates what it means to be black, male, queer; a son, an uncle, a lover; Southern, punk, and human. An emotional tightrope walk of a book and an important American story rarely, if ever, told.” —Michelle Tea, author of Castle on the River Vistula