Bantam Elf tried to do every job at the North Pole shoe factory, but everything he tried ended in disaster. The other elves called him "the bottom shelf elf" because the only job he could do was stack shoeboxes on the bottom shelf of the ware house. But Bantam knew he was meant to do something greater, and one day he set out to find it. What he ended up finding was a horse, a couple of wise men, a very important baby, and the greatest gift you could ever give. Bantam may have once been called the bottom shelf elf, but on one special day in December, he became the greatest elf in history...
Have you been naughty or nice? Get set for Christmas with our brand new magical Annual! Enjoy Elf-themed activities, stories and makes in this charming new Annual and help make it the best Christmas holiday ever! Includes recipes, craft ideas, quizes, puzzles, jokes, fun facts, etc.
The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is an activity the entire family will enjoy. Based on the tradition Carol Aebersold began with her family in the 1970s, this cleverly rhymed children's book explains that Santa knows who is naughty and/or nice because he sends a scout elf to every home. During the holiday season, the elf watches children by day and reports to Santa each night. When children awake, the elf has returned from the North Pole and can be found hiding in a different location. This activity allows The Elf on the Shelf to become a delightful hide-and-seek game.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
If it hadn't been for Lucas's photographic memory, they might not have remembered the man. It had been almost a year since she and Kari noticed him copying a famous Rembrandt painting in the Minneapolis Institute of Arts. But now in the National Gallery in London, they spot the same guy, copying another Rembrandt. Then, when a never-before-seen Rembrandt painting is discovered in Amsterdam, the girls begin to suspect the truth. Convinced that no one will believe them without hard and fast evidence, the teenage sleuths embark on a madcap adventure to find the forger and bring him to justice.
The elves were running everywhere--they were loud and brash and rude, and Tommy Top, the tallest elf, was running in the nude. The elves were throwing toys and games, and to make things even worse, Billy Bop, the smallest elf, was teaching them to curse... What does Santa do when things get out of hand in his North Pole castle? He brings in the World Wrestling Federation Superstars! Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos is a hilarious modern classic with all the heartwarming magic of a cherished tradition. Riotously illustrated by Jerry "The King" Lawler, this new Christmas story is sure to delight children, wrestling fans, and readers of all ages. Make room on the shelf next to The Night Before Christmas and A Christmas Carol, because this Yuletide tale has attitude! Mick Foley--number one New York Times bestselling author, Hardcore Legend, and Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation--crafts a delightful tale of mischief, mayhem, and the true meaning of Christmas. When the elves revolt against Santa and refuse to make any toys and the reindeer gang up on Rudolph as though they've joined DX, Santa Claus gives up hope that anyone these days has the true Christmas spirit. When the situation looks its bleakest, Mrs. Claus calls in the cavalry--Kane, Jericho, Val Venis, Jerry Lawler, Kurt Angle, Edge, an the rest of the Federation Superstars! How the wrestlers misbehave--making things even worse--and how one unexpected and unassuming person saves Christmas for the whole world is an unforgettable and uplifting story that will add good cheer to your holiday season year after year. Perfect for reading out loud near a crackl8ing fire or while tucked in at bedtime, Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos is sure to become a family tradition in your home.
The elves are dying. An energetic, peaceful, agrarian people, their idyllic existence is threatened now by the spectre of extinction. Their birth-rate has plummeted and their numbers are dwindling. In less than three centuries they will have died out completely. Inspired by the ancient legends of her people, Arabella-the free-thinking daughter of a simple goatherd-sets out to find the kind of magic that might save her race. The only problem is that magic exists in only one place-the world which they had fled over two thousand years ago to escape persecution and genocide. The world of man. Joe Brennan left Pittsburgh to assume the position of a small-town police chief. It promises peace and quiet and an escape from the fear and stress of the cruel city streets. But just as he's getting settled in, he discovers that there is something creeping around the small town of Kirbyville-something no one has encountered in over two millennia.
