The Alphabet of Manliness

The Alphabet of Manliness

Author: Maddox

Publisher: Citadel Press

Published: 2011-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780806535227

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The author provides tongue-in-cheek advice on what he considers to be manliness, such as beating up on other men, groping women, disciplining children more violently, and becoming a more efficient communicator of road rage.


F*ck Whales

F*ck Whales

Author: Maddox

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2017-10-17

Total Pages: 209

ISBN-13: 1476794987

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A collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times bestselling author Maddox, of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe. In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F*ck Whales delivers on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants, and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.


Crappy Children's Art

Crappy Children's Art

Author: Maddox

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2012-11-20

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1476713545

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From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness, the creator of “The Best Page in the Universe,” and overall genius, comes an outrageous, laugh-out-loud critique of children’s artwork that finally cuts those little smug know-it-alls down to size. Previously published as I Am Better Than Your Kids. If you think children are precious little snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid’s childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids—and, he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old’s crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade “gifts,” and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox’s world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world’s foremost authority on children’s crappy artwork.


Men Are Better Than Women

Men Are Better Than Women

Author: Dick Masterson

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2008-04-08

Total Pages: 275

ISBN-13: 141695919X

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Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.


Prank the Monkey

Prank the Monkey

Author: John Hargrave

Publisher: Citadel Press

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 0806527803

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No-one is safe from super-prankster John Hargrave! Everyone is fair (and hilarious) game, from major corporations to internet spammers; from celebrities to government figures. Action-packed and rammed with laughs, Prank the Monkey follows John as he dishes out revenge on the world's biggest and most deserving targets, exposing them for the chumps they really are - and showing readers how to do the same!


Alphabet of Manliness (revised and updated)

Alphabet of Manliness (revised and updated)

Author: Maddox

Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.

Published: 2009-08-25

Total Pages: 364

ISBN-13: 0806532084

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The hilarious New York Times–bestselling parody guide to all things alpha male, now revised and updated. Sometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn’t, such as the word “holy” and the word “shit.” Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition! If it’s a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. I, Maddox, the author, personally guarantee that this is the best edition of the book since the last one. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged sons of bitches out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to pick up a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted or busting balls alike. If you can’t handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already. The new edition includes: •“The Numbers of Manliness” •A full-color insert •Corrections to typos!


I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Citadel

Published: 2012-03-01

Total Pages: 537

ISBN-13: 0806535938

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The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."


Swim Team Trouble

Swim Team Trouble

Author: Jake Maddox

Publisher: Jake Maddox Graphic Novels

Published: 2021

Total Pages: 73

ISBN-13: 1515883434

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Grace loves swimming and is excited about joining the relay team, but not being able to make friends with teammate Chloe upsets her, especially when Chloe blames Grace for a disqualification.


Assholes Finish First

Assholes Finish First

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2011-10-18

Total Pages: 434

ISBN-13: 1439198691

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Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.


Ringside Seat to a Revolution

Ringside Seat to a Revolution

Author: David Romo

Publisher:

Published: 2005

Total Pages: 334

ISBN-13:

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Presents a comprehensive history of the Mexican Revolution of 1911 and the cities of El Paso and Juarez, and contains essays and archival photographs about Pancho Villa and other revolutionaries of the time.