Pook's Tender Years
Pook's Tender Years

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published:

Total Pages: 168

ISBN-13: 1310196060

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One of the most rewarding aspects of a writer’s work is to receive letters from readers asking for more information about his characters. Some requested details of Pook’s early days, while others wanted to hear more about that fiery little nobleman, Honners. In Pook’s Tender Years Peter Pook has tried to satisfy both demands by drawing on the most amusing anecdotes of those formative years from eight to nineteen, and many of these stories are nearer the truth than he cares to admit—such as the derailing of a tram with the aid of a kitchen poker and the destruction of his teacher’s desk by force of gravity. Also on record is Pook’s first meeting with Honners at the Convent of the Holy Angels, where Honners was an unwilling martyr to religious rigours and where Pook’s prayers were directed towards becoming a more proficient prize-fighter. Needless to say, in this book Pook begins his Tale of Woo, as he calls it, with his first love, Olga, and later as an enthusiastic gigolo working for the Renta-Gent Escort Bureau. The abundance of wit and humour to be found in Pook’s Tender Years should satisfy all those readers who enjoyed the previous Pook Books so heartily, as well as attracting many new fans to the Pook brand of fast entertainment.

Tender Is the Flesh
Tender Is the Flesh

Author: Agustina Bazterrica

Publisher: Scribner

Published: 2020-08-04

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 1982150920

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Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans—though no one calls them that anymore. His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the “Transition.” Now, eating human meat—“special meat”—is legal. Marcos tries to stick to numbers, consignments, processing. Then one day he’s given a gift: a live specimen of the finest quality. Though he’s aware that any form of personal contact is forbidden on pain of death, little by little he starts to treat her like a human being. And soon, he becomes tortured by what has been lost—and what might still be saved.

Pook's Eastern Promise
Pook's Eastern Promise

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2015-02-23

Total Pages: 192

ISBN-13: 131119603X

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You’ll enjoy Pook and Honners in the Indian Navy, savouring the sweet life of the East. Honners breaks with naval tradition by opening a boarding-house in Bombay, providing a base for his ever-growing collection of war trophies. But that ruthless disciplinarian, Commander Bray, brings the war against Japan to their notice, and they experience the terrors of night convoy sailing. Here Pook becomes the first Navigating Officer ever to witness the sun rising in the west without another ship of the convoy in sight. Pook and Honners are selected to lead the landing party on the Ramsami beach-head, where they come under fire from the Japanese and their own Task Force. How they escape the Japanese by working in a Ramsami house of ill-fame is a hilarious climax to another extremely funny Pook book.

Beau Pook Proposes
Beau Pook Proposes

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2015-04-08

Total Pages: 185

ISBN-13: 1311235892

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Beau Pook Proposes lays bare the jungle of the used car trade and the ruthless operators standing behind their gleaming bangers. Anything but a woman’s world, yet Pook enters it in partnership with his great-aunt Dot, a lady born before the motor car was invented, determined to make good in the nation’s toughest mart. We pity them as the victims of the notorious Tax Man con game, then marvel at Aunt Dot’s inspired counter-move against the Robbin’ Hoods of auto-ville.But this story is not all power struggle on the forecourts of Britain. Pook tells of his unrequited love for the beautiful Wanda Wells, and how in his despair he wrote to Nurse Dawn of Family Help magazine, and how Nurse Dawn came to his side by return of post to begin a love affair to melt the heart of any franchise dealer—wherein Pook becomes engaged to Nurse Dawn’s glamorous sister, Gipsy Rosa with the Crystal Ball. A poignant novel for all men who love cars and for all women who love ugly, muscle-bound men who love cars. Pook says beauty is only sin-deep anyway.

Professor Pook
Professor Pook

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2014-02-11

Total Pages: 157

ISBN-13: 1310077185

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Peter Pook has graced many professions in his time, and has escaped from many difficult situations. In this latest adventure he takes up the task of teaching, bringing to his duties that unique blend of dedicated hilarity and profound near-scholarship which his thousands of readers find so hard to do without. The reader is taken right into the staffroom and classrooms of Cudford Secondary Modern School, to meet the very people we knew in the happiest days of our lives—the fat boy who sat next to us, the cutie who passed us inky love-notes, as well as the fiery Headmaster, Gym Mistress, and Fräulein. Naturally, Pook’s own extra-curricular activities involve him with the female teachers, but he does what passes for his best to conceal these affairs from his pupils, who lap up anything to do with S-E-X as eagerly as the staff themselves. Educationalists will be intrigued by Pook’s unorthodox approach to teaching in the Pop Age, when he strives to impart a knowledge of English to the D stream, who often find difficulty in using even their mother tongue. The N.U.T. and N.A.S. will be delighted by this shrewd appraisal of their problems, while the ordinary reader—Pook-addict or fresher—will revel in this lesson in laughter.

Pook Sahib
Pook Sahib

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2014-01-20

Total Pages: 163

ISBN-13: 1311685723

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Lieutenant Pook sounds pretty good, at least it did to Pook himself, who was seconded to the Royal Ramsami Navy to undertake the strangest mission ever to befall a naval officer. Precisely what that mission was, though, Pook never quite discovered. Assisted by Honners as navigating officer, Peter Pook sets out from the Eastern state of Ramsam as crack naval diver of the Fleet, on board the mystery ship Soonong. In command of the vessel is one of the toughest characters ever to sail the notorious China Coast, Commander Bray—250lb of the liverish breed that made Britain great, whose brilliant seamanship has made his name a legend throughout the repair yards of the Orient. His dislike of Pook is apparent from the first, and is helped along by jealousy over a beautiful half-caste girl, whom Pook unwittingly introduces to a house of ill-fame in the wicked city of Shaggapore. With superb confidence, born of utter incompetence, Pook blunders through the hazards of naval diving, religious taboos and Oriental marriage, under the all-seeing eye of the Nawab of Ramsam. He flirts with the Nawab’s wife, falls in love with a night-club singer, swims across a sacred lake and finally becomes enmeshed in the macabre religious practices of the Ramsamis. Nevertheless he still finds time to be shipwrecked in the Bay of Bengal and sink a warship under his captain’s feet. Happily, Commander Bray and Lieutenant Pook decide to bury the past like true shipmates and as a result of this resolve their bloody fight on the waterfront of Chattoo dockland sets a new standard in human conflict and endurance, albeit a new low in naval discipline. Whether or not the reader is acquainted with Pook’s earlier adventures in Banking on Form, Pook in Boots and Pook in Business, he will recognize this personality as the funniest on the current comedy scene.

Playboy Pook
Playboy Pook

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2014-08-11

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 1310921032

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Beneath the mirth and action of Playboy Pook is a serious attempt by the author to recapture those lush days of England before the war, and to get inside the minds of the young people who were fortunate enough to enjoy that fascinating era. The book is a sequel to Pook’s Tender Years, enabling the reader to meet again some delightful friends of Pook’s childhood and those adults like Aunt Mabel whose impression on youngsters remains throughout their lives. And no Pook book is complete without Honners, the arrogant little nobleman, whose efforts to evade parachute-jump training with the school cadet corps must be ranked as funny as anything Pook has yet written. Playboy Pook contains several memorable scenes, not the least of which is an unforgettable educational cruise to Greece, where young Puddle tries to purloin part of the Parthenon, Honners discovers a unique way of entering nightclubs without paying and Pook becomes involved with a passionate lady of the town in an Athens casino which he mistakes for a tube station.

Bwana Pook
Bwana Pook

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2014-01-20

Total Pages: 163

ISBN-13: 1310688478

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Warning: the Publishers wish to state that they can accept no responsibility for the Pook addiction which will be the inevitable result of reading this book. Persons reading it do so as their own risk. Peter Pook is desperate for money. He decides therefore to marry it, figuring this to be the shortest way to eliminate the normal forty years’ graft known as earning a living. He selects Africa as his hunting ground, and soon tracks a rich quarry, but he loses her to a rival Romeo. Naturally he plans to accompany the happy couple on their honeymoon. With characteristic durability, Pook strikes gold in Johannesburg. He woos an heiress (against strong Afrikaans competition), but he has to live while doing so. To this end, he takes a job in the Capricorn Bank, where one of his duties is to wage financial war against the bank’s most powerful customer. This customer, of course, is the lady’s father. Devotion to duty demands deportation. “Surely there is some remote corner of Darkest Africa,” sighs the bank manager, “where I can work out my service till pension without Pook.” Pook meanwhile is beset by lions in the dreaded Mwanga jungle. The hilarity of this latest Pook book has to be experienced, and Pook’s many fans will revel in this unique exercise in laughter.

Banker Pook Confesses
Banker Pook Confesses

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2014-02-11

Total Pages: 161

ISBN-13: 1310513686

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Readers who opened a fun account with Banking on Form and Bwana Pook will be delighted by this latest addition to their libraries. When a bank clerk struggles as hard as Pook does to live an eventful life, he is sure to get into trouble with the Manager. Mr Putty and his Chief Clerk, Mr.Pants, disapprove strongly of Pook’s appearance as the nude prude in an all-colour girlie film, and when Pook and our old friend Honners take the Manager to a strip club, their account goes deep into the red. Of course, no Pook book would be complete without a bit of wooing, and who better for Pook to woo than the Bank Chairman’s daughter? How his plans are thwarted by the ancient ledger-keeper, Mr. Pills, must be read to be believed. Suffice to say that against an authentic background of commercial practice Pook hits a new high in hilarity.

Pook In Boots
Pook In Boots

Author: Peter Pook

Publisher: Emissary Publishing

Published: 2013-12-02

Total Pages: 215

ISBN-13: 1311664475

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Banking on Form was so funny people said, that they daren’t read it in public places—but Pook in Boots is even funnier! Leaving the Bank, Pook continues his aggressive career in the Royal Marines, where he mixes with earls and orphans—leading them all cheerfully to perdition, willingly aided by the smallest Marine on record, the Hon. Lesley Pilkington-Goldberg. Opposing Pook and his dislike of discipline is that magnificent character Sergeant Canyon—fifteen stone of bad-tempered Saxon warrior—whose epic encounter with Pook in the Unarmed Combat Class is still remembered with awe by those who saw it. Running through the story is the love-interest of Pook’s girlfriends—unexpectedly connected with his celebrated inter-Service bout with the notorious Bandsman Bangle, which is described here for the first time. Because, as Pook remarks, “any fool can read a love yarn but it takes grit to read this type of literature.” We meet the shrewdest tactician of them all in Lieutenant Tudor—late house-detective at a London hotel—whose fondness for the ladies is second only to his skill in battle. What happens to Pook during the disastrous Exercise Seaweed, followed by the extraordinary Passing Out Parade and a hilarious party in the West End night-club, will confirm his position as the biggest laughter-raiser in the business. Colonel Tank sums up wisely when he observes: “Sometimes I wonder if I’m C.O. of a crack fighting regiment or the manager of a West End hotel for spies.”