And Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger.
Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel—in actions that contradict their words. That’s passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here. The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
With more than 100,000 copies in print, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man draws on case histories from clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler’s practice to help you identify the destructive behavior, the root causes and motivations, and solutions. Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover... Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss... Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband... Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on: • How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A” • How to get his anger and fear into the open • How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father • How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
Stand up and be heard! With more than 100,000 copies sold, this fully revised and updated self-help classic by psychologist Randy J. Paterson—author of How to Be Miserable—will help you get started today. Do you feel uncomfortable in situations where you disagree with others? Do you struggle to express your opinions or assert your boundaries? If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by confrontation, or have bitten your tongue rather than offer an opposing point of view, you know that a lack of assertiveness can leave you feeling marginalized and powerless. Assertiveness is a critical skill that not only influences your professional success, but also your personal happiness! So, how can you make sure your voice is heard? The Assertiveness Workbook contains powerfully effective skills grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you communicate more effectively, improve social interactions, and express yourself with confidence and clarity. You’ll learn how to set and maintain personal boundaries while staying connected, and discover ways to be more genuine and open in your relationships. Finally, you’ll learn to defend yourself calmly if you’re unfairly criticized or asked to submit to unreasonable requests. Fully revised and updated—this new edition includes information on the impact of social media, mini-dialogs to help you navigate tricky social interactions, and skills to shift your behaviors to be more assertive—so you can improve your communication skills, and your life!
Learn the Powerful Skills of Benign Confrontation! *Step 1: Recognize the patterns of passive-aggressive behavior *Step 2: Refuse to engage in the Passive-Aggressive Conflict Cycle *Step 3: Affirm the anger *Step 4: Mange the denial *Step 5: Revisit the thought *Step 6: Identify areas of competence What is passive-aggressive behavior? The authors of this three-part book have studied the psychology of this behavior for over four decades in both clinical and educational settings. They offer real-world examples and empowering, practical strategies for working with or when confronted with individuals who exhibit any of the five levels of passive aggressiveness.
The Longs, psychologists who have studied passive aggression in children since the 1960s, provide guidance for teachers and parents who find themselves feeling frustrated, confused, angry, and guilty after interactions with chronically passive-aggressive kids. Passive aggression is a learned behavior in which children express anger in irritating and indirect ways, such as "forgetting" assignments or pretending not to hear a teacher. The authors discuss how children develop passive-aggressive traits, describe the five levels of such behavior, and outline how adults can manage the passive-aggressive conflict cycle to change students' behavior. The brief volume has no subject index. Annotation copyrighted by Book News Inc., Portland, OR.
Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.
In the previous book in this series, Manfred Kets de Vries observed the experiences of leaders on a rollercoaster ride through their professional and personal lives. Now, he follows them down the rabbit hole into the unknown, where, like Lewis Carroll’s Alice, they find a dystopian Wonderland in which everyone seems to have gone mad and life functions according to its own crazy logic, throwing up all kinds of obstacles in the search for truth. Understanding what is happening around us has become more difficult than ever in the Age of Trump. Don’t imperatives like “build that wall” sound very much like “Off with his head”? Unfortunately, and unlike Alice, we are not going to wake up from a bad dream and discover that everything is “nothing but a pack of cards”. The first part of this book looks at the psychodynamics of leadership in both a business and a political context. The second focuses on the psychopathology of everyday life in organizations and the seemingly endless ways people can make a mess of things – including mega pay packages, acting out, digital addiction and other dysfunctional behaviour patterns. Each chapter ends with a brief anecdote to illustrate the dilemma it presents. In short, sharp nuggets, Kets de Vries helps make sense of how the madness of the present has affected leadership in organizations and the workplace.