Our Socially Awkward Marriage: Stories from an Asperger's Relationship

Our Socially Awkward Marriage: Stories from an Asperger's Relationship

Author: Tom Peters

Publisher: Brookside Press

Published: 2016-09-20

Total Pages: 108

ISBN-13: 9780984223039

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Through a series of warm and uplifting stories, Tom and Linda Peters take you into the heart of their socially awkward marriage. Tom had long suspected that there was something wrong with him, but despite his best efforts, he could never figure out what it was. With the help of Linda, a writer and investigator who he would later marry, Tom went looking for answers that would explain his quirky way of seeing the world. At the age of 47, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. Raw and personal, this book of essays was first inspired by Tom's challenges with Asperger's Syndrome, but the humorous bite-sized stories apply to any kind of interpersonal communication. The simple solutions that Tom and Linda have discovered - while dressing up a phrenology head or removing a wild opossum from the master bath - have the surprising power to help us learn how to feel more respected, heard and understood in all of our relationships. Introduction Remember that weird kid in the back of the classroom who just couldn't stop talking about astronomy, and would bring up the discovery of Pluto during lessons about the American Civil War? That was me. My name is Tom Peters. I'm a composer and GRAMMY(R)-nominated classical musician now, and I've played music all over the world. I have a wife named Linda, a college-aged son from my first marriage, and eight different types of stringed instruments at home including six ukuleles. In 2011, at the tender age of 47, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. At that time, Asperger's Syndrome was considered a mild form of autism, characterized by an inability to understand how to interact socially. Those of us with Asperger's - or Aspies, as a term of endearment - tend to have few facial expressions and are apt to stare blankly at other people. It's nothing personal; we really can't help it. Aspies are often accused of being "in their own world" and preoccupied with their own thoughts. We are usually clumsy with uncoordinated movements, are socially awkward, have repetitive routines or rituals, and odd speech and language. Which didn't exactly make me a chick magnet. Regardless of an Aspie's age or place in life, relationships are often a challenge. Being unable to understand nonverbal communication or how you relate to the people around you can cause Aspies to blurt out inappropriate remarks and say just plain odd things, usually at exactly the wrong time. But it's not all bad news. The unusual focus and intensity that goes along with this disorder has helped me to hone my skills as a professional double bass player and later, as a composer of silent film scores. On a personal level, I am honest, dependable and straightforward. I love deeply and always try to do my best. I don't play mind games. I don't know how. And now, as a middle-aged adult, I'm in a happy, healthy relationship. My wife, Linda, is a writer who used to work with adults with mental, emotional and developmental disabilities. It was Linda's idea for me to share some anecdotes about what it felt like to be on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. She thought it might help someone to hear me articulate the feelings involved in some of the unique challenges I face. Around the same time, we also started writing articles together about how we were making communication work so well in our Asperger's relationship. This book is a collection of some of those articles and blog posts about our lives. Most of the stories are about being on the spectrum, or about living with someone who is on the spectrum. Almost all the stories take place in the context of our Asperger's relationship and subsequent marriage. We hope that you enjoy reading them!


Neurodiverse Relationships

Neurodiverse Relationships

Author: Joanna Stevenson

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Published: 2019-07-18

Total Pages: 218

ISBN-13: 1787750299

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Comprised of the accounts of twelve heterosexual couples in which the man is on the Autism Spectrum, this book invites both partners to discuss their own perspectives of different key issues, including anxiety, empathy, employment and socialising. Autism expert Tony Attwood contributes a commentary and a question and answer section for each of the twelve accounts. The first book of its kind to provide perspectives from both sides of a relationship on a variety of different topics, Neurodiverse Relationships is the perfect companion for couples in neurodiverse relationships who are trying to understand one another better.


The Journal of Best Practices

The Journal of Best Practices

Author: David Finch

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2012-01-03

Total Pages: 235

ISBN-13: 1439189757

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*A New York Times Bestseller* A warm and hilarious memoir by a man diagnosed with Asperger syndrome who sets out to save his relationship. Five years after David Finch married Kristen, the love of his life, they learned that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explained David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, but it didn’t make him any easier to live with. Determined to change, David set out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband with an endearing zeal. His methods for improving his marriage involve excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies, including “Don’t change the radio station when she’s singing along” and “Apologies do not count when you shout them.” David transforms himself from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest. He becomes the husband he’d always meant to be. Filled with humor and wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart is the key to happy marriage.


Alone Together

Alone Together

Author: Katrin Bentley

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 132

ISBN-13: 1843105373

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Thousands of people live in Asperger marriages without recognizing the signs that their spouse has AS. When Swiss-born Katrin met Gavin while backpacking in Australia, she fell in love with a man that was kind, good looking and different. He followed her to Switzerland where they married eight months later. At first everything seemed fine, but once back in Australia things changed very drastically. Alone Together shares the struggle of one couple to rescue their marriage. It explains the clues that suggest a person might have AS and explores the effect of diagnosis. It is uplifting and humorous and includes plenty of tips for making as Asperger marriage succeed. This book offers couples hope, encouragement and strategies for their own relationships.


Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate

Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate

Author: Cynthia Kim

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Published: 2014-09-21

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 0857009494

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Cynthia Kim explores all the quirkyness of living with Asperger Syndrome (ASD) in this accessible, witty and honest guide looking from an insider perspective at some of the most challenging and intractable aspects of being autistic. Her own life presents many rich examples. From being labelled nerdy and shy as an undiagnosed child to redefining herself when diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome as an adult, she describes how her perspective shifted to understanding a previously confusing world and combines this with the results of extensive research to explore the 'why' of ASD traits. She explains how they impact on everything from self-care to holding down a job and offers typically practical and creative strategies to help manage them, including a section on the vestibular, sensory and social benefits of martial arts for people with autism. Well known in the autism community and beyond for her popular blog, Musings of an Aspie, Cynthia Kim's book is rich with personal anecdotes and useful advice. This intelligent insider guide will help adults with ASDs and their partners, family members, friends, and colleagues, but it also provides a fresh and witty window onto a different worldview.


Rethinking Community through Transdisciplinary Research

Rethinking Community through Transdisciplinary Research

Author: Bettina Jansen

Publisher: Springer Nature

Published: 2019-12-31

Total Pages: 315

ISBN-13: 3030310736

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This book offers the first interdisciplinary survey of community research in the humanities and social sciences to consider such diverse disciplines as philosophy, religious studies, anthropology, sociology, disabilities studies, linguistics, communication studies, and film studies. Bringing together leading international experts, the collection of essays critically maps and explores the state of the art in community research, while also developing future perspectives for a cross-disciplinary rethinking of community. Pursuing such a critical, transdisciplinary approach to community, the book argues, can counteract reductive appropriations of the term ‘community’ and, instead, pave the way for a novel assessment of the concept’s complexity. Since community is, above all, a lived practice that shapes people’s everyday lives, the essays also suggest ways of redoing community; they discuss concrete examples of community practice, thereby bridging the gap between scholars and activists working in the field.


Alone Together

Alone Together

Author: Sherry Turkle

Publisher: Basic Books

Published: 2017-11-07

Total Pages: 463

ISBN-13: 0465093663

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A groundbreaking book by one of the most important thinkers of our time shows how technology is warping our social lives and our inner ones Technology has become the architect of our intimacies. Online, we fall prey to the illusion of companionship, gathering thousands of Twitter and Facebook friends, and confusing tweets and wall posts with authentic communication. But this relentless connection leads to a deep solitude. MIT professor Sherry Turkle argues that as technology ramps up, our emotional lives ramp down. Based on hundreds of interviews and with a new introduction taking us to the present day, Alone Together describes changing, unsettling relationships between friends, lovers, and families.


Awkward

Awkward

Author: Ty Tashiro

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2017-04-25

Total Pages: 147

ISBN-13: 0062429175

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Discover how the same traits that make us feel uneasy in social situations also provide the seeds for extraordinary success. As humans, we all need to belong. While modern social life can make even the most charismatic of us feel gawky, for roughly one in five of us, navigating its challenges is overwhelming. Psychologist and interpersonal relationship expert Ty Tashiro knows what it’s like to be awkward. Growing up, he could do complex arithmetic in his head and memorize the earned run averages of every National League starting pitcher. But he struggled to add up social cues during interactions with other kids and was prone to forget routine social expectations. In Awkard, Ty unpacks decades of research in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, and sociology to help us better understand this widely share trait and its origins. He considers how awkward people view our complex world and explains how we can more comfortably engage with it, delivering a welcome, counterintuitive message: the same characteristics that make people socially clumsy can be harnessed to produce remarkable achievements. Interweaving the latest research with personal tales and real-world examples, Awkward provides valuable insights into how we can embrace our personal quirks and unique talents to realize our awesome potential.


How to Fall in Love with Anyone

How to Fall in Love with Anyone

Author: Mandy Len Catron

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2017-06-27

Total Pages: 211

ISBN-13: 1501137468

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“A beautifully written and well-researched cultural criticism as well as an honest memoir” (Los Angeles Review of Books) from the author of the popular New York Times essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explores the romantic myths we create and explains how they limit our ability to achieve and sustain intimacy. What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a twenty-eight year marriage and her own ten-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer. In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, “Catron melds science and emotion beautifully into a thoughtful and thought-provoking meditation” (Bookpage). She delves back to 1944, when her grandparents met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from. And she tells the story of how she decided to test an experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. “Perfect fodder for the romantic and the cynic in all of us” (Booklist), How to Fall in Love with Anyone flips the script on love. “Clear-eyed and full of heart, it is mandatory reading for anyone coping with—or curious about—the challenges of contemporary courtship” (The Toronto Star).


Marriage After God

Marriage After God

Author: Aaron Smith

Publisher: Zondervan

Published: 2019-06-04

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 0310355354

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What if God has purposed your marriage for something so much more than "happily ever after?" Since the very beginning, God's design for marriage has been for husbands and wives to be ambassadors of holy love to a hurting world. Still, too many couples stop short at happy and wonder why they feel unsatisfied. Rather than "you and me against the world," God calls each couple to the rich and meaningful mission of "you and me for the world." In Marriage After God, Aaron and Jennifer Smith, popular marriage bloggers at HusbandRevolution.com and UnveiledWife.com, transparently share their own journey of turning a marriage in crisis into a marriage built on Christ's redemptive love. With fresh biblical insight and intimate stories of their own struggles and victories, this book will guide you toward a God-centered, ministry-minded, and thriving marriage. Throughout Marriage After God, you'll learn to: Discover the signature marks of a marriage after God Find principles for building an unshakable marriage foundation Let God's story take the lead in your love story Recognize the tools God has already equipped you with for a missional life together Filled with timeless wisdom, this thorough and practical book will empower you and your spouse to dream, decide, and do as you step hand in hand into God's ultimate purpose for your marriage. God has created your remarkable, romantic, and redemptive relationship to be a powerful light to a dark and hurting world. Let Marriage After God be your invitation to marriage as God intended--a life-saving, hope-inspiring, and transforming force of God's love. Praise for Marriage After God: "This book is an incredible resource for anyone trying to grow or step into a healthier and more life-giving marriage. Aaron and Jen pull no punches; are honest, raw, and authentic; and show that a marriage in pursuit of Jesus can change the world." --Jefferson Bethke, New York Times bestselling author of Jesus > Religion "There is a short list of books I'm stashing away for my three small kiddos to read when they are older--Marriage After God is one of them. Dear couples of the world, you have picked up a treasure! This book will give you clear direction to live out God's will for your marriage. There is no greater gift you can give yourselves than to run after Him together. Marriage After God will show you how!" --Lara Casey, author of Cultivate and Make It Happen