In this comedic retelling of the holiday classic, a young Rodney Dangerfield prepares himself for yet another disappointing Christmas when his night is suddenly turned upside down. Will this be the Christmas where Rodney finally gets some respect? Revisit your favorite Rodney Dangerfield one-liners in this charmingly illustrated, read-aloud story that is sure to become a new holiday tradition for fans of all generations.
Young mateys will find plenty of holiday joy in this humorous, colorful, and thoroughly piratical version of the beloved Clement C. Moore classic. On this ship of mischievous brigands—who have visions of treasure chests, not sugarplums, dancing in their heads—you wouldn’t expect a visit from nice St. Nick. Instead, here comes Sir Peggedy, with his peg leg and hook arm, cracking his whip and driving eight giant seahorses: Salty, Scurvy, Sinbad, Mollie, Cutthroat, Cross-Eyes, Roger, and Jolly. Philip Yates’ rollicking rhymes and Sebastià Serra’s sprightly, fun-filled pictures—featuring whimsically multicolored seahorses, stockings hung on the ship’s bowsprit with tar, child-friendly pirates, and a complete treasure map—turn this Christmas perennial into a jubilant celebration!
Grade 1 and Up | Ages 6-12 The List Was Set...Or So They Thought But it seems an elf named Tiny has made a terrible mistake.A mistake that threatens to undo everything Santa has worked for.The Night Nothing Went Right is a fun and fast paced Christmas Adventure that will help get the whole family into the spirit of the Christmas season!Get the ebook FREE with paperback purchase through the Kindle Matchbook Program!kids books, books for kids, Christmas books, fantasy books, books for kids ages 6-8, 7-9, 9-12
An American comic icon tells the story of his second–act rise from obscurity to multimedia stardom. "When I was a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I worked tough places in show business––places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's. That was a tough joint. I looked at the menu. They had broken leg of lamb." For once, one of America's most beloved comic icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has seen every aspect of the entertainment industry: the rough–and–tumble nightclubs, the backstage gag–writing sessions, the drugs, the hookers, the lousy day jobs – and the red–carpet star treatment. As he traces his route from a poor childhood on Long Island to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he takes readers on a roller–coaster ride through a life that has been alternately touching, sordid, funny, raunchy, and uplifting – equal parts "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula." And unlike most celebrity autobiographers, he seems to have no qualms about delivering the unfiltered whole story, warts and all. Dangerfield's personal story is also a rollicking show business tale, full of marquee name–droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and good stories about same. Defying the old saws about the fleeting nature of fame and the dearth of second acts in American life, Dangerfield transformed himself from a debt–ridden aluminium–siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia superstar – and stayed an icon for decades. His catchphrase – "I get no respect" – has entered the lexicon, and he remains a visible cultural presence and perennial talk–show guest. Dangerfield's hilarious and inspiring musings should thrill comedy fans and pop–culture watchers, and his second–act comeback will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Maybe he'll even get some respect.
Santa's (Zany, Wacky, Just Not Right) Night Before Christmas is a whimiscal tale of Santa's jouney through a Christmas Eve that doesn't go as he expects. One small event leads to a series of surprises that change Santa and Christmas as we know it. It's a story to spark the imagination, make kids giggle, and bring a smile even to a grownup's face!
From the international best-selling author of Drive and The Ravenhood Trilogy comes a heartwarming holiday romance with all of the feels. Now an AMAZON Top #10 Best Seller! A #1 Best Seller Holiday Romance A #1 Best Seller in Holiday Fiction A #1 Best Seller in Inspirational Romance A #1 Best Seller in Romantic Comedy Clark Griswold was onto something, at least with his annual holiday meltdown. And since the last three weeks of my life have been riddled with humbug--another breakup, a broken toe, an office promotion I deserved and didn't get--I'm not at all in the mood to celebrate nor have the happ, happ, happiest Christmas EVER. When Mom insisted that we all gather at my Grandparent's ancient cabin for an old school family Christmas, I fully intended to get into the holiday spirit with the help of the three wise men, Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam. But those boys did absolutely nothing to offset the shock or temper the sting of seeing my EX on our doorstep the first day of our holiday soiree. Apparently, Santa missed the memo, and this elf is pissed. Stuck for a week with the man who obliterated my heart nearly two decades ago, I did the only thing I could do and put on my game face, thankful for the home advantage. I knew better than to drink that last cup of eggnog. I knew better than to get tongue tangled beneath the mistletoe with the only man to ever break my heart. I knew better than to sleep with Satan's wingman on the eve of the Lord's birthday. I could blame the nog. I could blame the deceitful light blue eyes, thick, angelic hair, and panty evaporating smirk...but mostly, I blame Eli because he always knew exactly which of my buttons to push. I foolishly thought a family Christmas filled with nostalgia was going to turn my inner Scrooge around, but this year's festivities went up in flames. Leave it to the ghost of my Christmas past to be the one to light the match. Fa la la la la, la FML. The Plight Before Christmas is a full length, second chance, Christmas themed romance and most definitely on SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST!
A rhyming story in which Santa Claus and his six elves help a lonely librarian and her suffering library on Christmas Eve, arriving suddenly in a flying red bookmobile and setting to work.
