The book is best described as a collection of funny essays on a variety of subjects. It appeared on several bestseller lists when originally published.
A reigning princess of the punchline unleashes her deadpan wit on everything from what happens to a woman when she tries on a bathing suit to what life was like before remote control. A stand-up act you can sit down and read from one of the hottest comedians in the land. Photos and line drawings.
The hottest comedy team around takes a hilarious look at women, money, sex, fame, and politics in a shocking, provocative book with a positive message. The self-proclaimed "ambassadors to the world beyond the ghetto" challenge status and authority with unforgettable pearls of wisdom, political sound bites, financial forecasts, and candid commentary on popular icons from Snoop Doggie Dog to Barbra Streisand. 75 photos.
While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."--O, The Oprah Magazine
There is something blooming between my captor and I, hot and wet and fragile. Lust. Obsession. Maybe it’s even love. But there are still secrets that stand between us, looming large over whatever happiness we might find together. Dangerous secrets. Things worth killing over. If I reveal my secret to Dryas, he very well might die to protect me. The last thing I want is to confront those that hurt me without him at my side. But I might not get a choice, if Dryas has his way...
"Bride of The Funniest People in Religion and Families" contains such anecdotes as these: When Panamanian salsa singer Rubin Blades married Lisa Lebenzon, an Anglo (a white American not of Spanish descent) non-Spanish speaker, he asked her to learn Spanish so he could speak his native language at home. She finished in only seven months a Spanish course that normally took three years. Dr. Louis Finkelstein, chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, kept a strictly kosher diet. While in Paris, he and a group of rabbis ate only in kosher restaurants. On leaving Paris, Dr. Finkelstein joked, "I can't understand all this fuss people make about French cooking. We have the same things at home." A Sufi teacher spoke about the virtue of patience. As he spoke, a scorpion stung his foot repeatedly. His followers eventually noticed the scorpion and asked the teacher why he had not moved his foot away from it. The teacher replied, "I was discussing the virtue of patience. I could hardly have spoken about patience without also setting an example of patience. I would have been ashamed before God."
Women are puppets to him – easy to handle, easy to conquer. Not me, though. Cedric Crow, the aloof and mysterious thriller and suspense writer, a star with millions of fans and billions in his bank account. He is used to have women at his feet, worshipping his every move, his every word. I had it coming when I dared to roll my eyes at his narcissistic ramblings. But I didn’t expect him to go after me like this. He wants me. All of me. Submitting to him excites me. He wakes me from a slumber that has cast a damp over my dull life. But he's keeping a secret from me... can I really trust him?
The High Priestess - 1: Damen Aetos. Mob boss. Madman. And soon to be my husband. He doesn’t care that I’m a virgin. Doesn’t care about my beauty. Nothing matters to him but my last name. By marrying me, the Madman ensures that a centuries-old bargain will be met. The fact that he gets me -- gets to do anything to me that he wants -- is just icing on the cake for him. But I have secrets too, lurking beneath my pretty surface. Secrets, lies, and a power greater than either of us can imagine. The question is, when The High Priestess comes calling, how will he respond? Provoke – 2: I meet her in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle towards my sworn enemy. Our eyes catch from across the room. And monster that I am, I know I have to have her. Not just because she is precious to my sworn enemy… but also because her wide blue eyes tell me things. That she’s afraid of me. That she’s even more afraid of my enemy. That she’ll do almost anything to escape him. I seize on her fear. I abduct her, while she’s screaming and fighting me. And that’s when our story begins. Punish – 3: Stolen and abducted… yet in the same stroke, saved. On one hand, I escaped certain death at the hands of people who have already hurt me. On the other, now I’m trapped with him. The rival of my abuser, who is every bit as terrifying. Dark and sinfully handsome, he wants me. He wants me to turn my back on the religion that has raised me. He wants me to spread my legs for him and him alone. He wants to punish me. He wants to teach me to like his lessons. Or else he’ll kill my little sister and turn me over to the men who controlled me before. Either way, I will have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices that have lasting consequences. I walk on the knife’s edge between falling prey again and completely losing myself. And if I’m not careful, I may end up worse than dead... Possess – 4: There is something blooming between my captor and I, hot and wet and fragile. Lust. Obsession. Maybe it’s even love. But there are still secrets that stand between us, looming large over whatever happiness we might find together. Dangerous secrets. Things worth killing over. If I reveal my secret to Dryas, he very well might die to protect me. The last thing I want is to confront those that hurt me without him at my side. But I might not get a choice, if Dryas has his way... Protect – 5: I wake up in the wreckage, ready to fight for Rue. Only she is gone, stolen away by my archenemy. I start to see red. No one touches my girl and expects to live. The deck is stacked against us. Emotions are running high. There is one thing that no one else realizes, though. Rue is mine, and I will get her back if it is the last f*cking thing I do.
I have three deadly problems: 1. I’ve seriously offended a maniacal killer. 2. I just had a bullet removed from my brain. 3. My new daughter is growing up too fast--and she’s in the line of fire. Living on an obscure, technology-free island off California means safety from the murderer who hunts Kellen Adams and her new family.... Or does it? Family time becomes terror-time, and at last, alone, Kellen faces a killer playing a cruel game. Only one can survive, and Kellen knows who must win...and who must die. STRANGERS SHE KNOWS: The Grand Finale of Cape Charade Thrillers available now! Read the acclaimed Cape Charade series: #1 HARD TO KILL: A Cape Charade Short Suspense #2 DEAD GIRL RUNNING: A Cape Charade Full-length Thriller #3 FAMILIES AND OTHER ENEMIES: A Cape Charade Short Suspense #4 WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME: A Cape Charade Full-length Thriller #5. HIDDEN TRUTHS: A Cape Charade Short Suspense #6. STRANGERS SHE KNOWS: A Cape Charade Full-length Thriller Coming in Audio! The three Cape Charade short suspenses, HARD TO KILL, FAMILIES AND OTHER ENEMIES and HIDDEN TRUTHS, starring Kellen Adams.