Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge
Kiss Me in the Coral Lounge

Author: Helen Ellis

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2024-06-25

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 0593466551

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Even twenty years into marriage, Helen Ellis’s husband still makes her heart pitter patter. The New York Times bestselling author paints a portrait of true romance for our times in these surprising, sexy, and hilariously frank essays about love, marriage, and her last first kiss. "Ellis is one of our greatest living humorists, in the same league as Sedaris and Irby...A fascinating portrait of middle-aged love.” —Ann Napolitano, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Edward Welcome to the Coral Lounge, a room in Helen Ellis’s New York City apartment painted such an exuberant shade that a Peeping Tom left a sticky note asking for the color. It is in the Coral Lounge where all the parties happen: A game called “What’s in the box?” makes its uproarious debut, the Puzzle Posse pounces on a 500-piece jigsaw of a beheaded priest, and guests don blindfolds for a raucous bridal shower. When the pandemic shuts down the city, the Coral Lounge becomes a place of refuge, where Helen and her husband binge-watch Joan Collins’s Dynasty, dote on two spoiled cats, and where Helen discovers that even twenty years into marriage, her husband still makes her heart pitter patter.

American Housewife
American Housewife

Author: Helen Ellis

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2016-01-12

Total Pages: 126

ISBN-13: 038554104X

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • “A raucous, whip-smart collection of stories featuring retro-feminist ladies who lunch.” —Elle Meet the women of American Housewife. They wear lipstick, pearls, and sunscreen, even when it’s cloudy. They casserole. They pinwheel. And then they kill a party crasher, carefully stepping around the body to pull cookies from the oven. Taking us from a haunted pre-war Manhattan apartment building to the unique initiation ritual of a book club, these twelve delightfully demented stories are a refreshing and wicked answer to the question: “What do housewives do all day?”

Eating The Cheshire Cat
Eating The Cheshire Cat

Author: Helen Ellis

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2001-02-13

Total Pages: 292

ISBN-13: 068486441X

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The debut novel by the author of American Housewife. Eating the Cheshire Cat lures us into a world of perfectly planned parties and steep social ladders, where traditional rites of passage take unpredictable and horrifying turns as three girls and their overbearing mothers collide. In Tuscaloosa, Alabama, beauty is as beauty does, with axes and knives and killer smiles. Sarina Summers and her mother will stop at nothing to have it all. Nicole Hicks harbors a fierce obsession with Sarina, which repeatedly undermines Mrs. Hicks's ambitious goals. Bitty Jack Carlson, a nice girl from the wrong side of the tracks, is caught in the crossfire but struggles to succeed outside the confines of this outrageous yet eerily familiar Southern community. It's survival of the fittest. Which girl will come out on top? Covering everything from summer camp to the University of Alabama's Homecoming game, this fast-paced and unforgettable novel will keep readers guessing until the bitter end.

Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light
Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light

Author: Helen Ellis

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2021-07-13

Total Pages: 119

ISBN-13: 0385546165

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The bestselling author of American Housewife and Southern Lady Code returns with an “inspiring, hilarious, straight-to-the-point” (Entertainment Weekly) collection of essays on friendship among grown-ass women. "Ellis' prose is filled with so many laugh lines, you might want to go ahead and book the Botox.” —NPR When Helen Ellis and her lifelong friends arrive for a reunion on the Redneck Riviera, they unpack more than their suitcases: stories of husbands and kids, lost parents and lost jobs, powdered onion dip and photographs you have to hold by the edges, dirty jokes and sunscreen with SPF higher than they hair-sprayed their bangs senior year, and a bad mammogram. It's a diagnosis that scares them, but could never break their bond. Because women pushing fifty won't be pushed around. In these twelve gloriously comic and moving essays, Helen Ellis dishes on married middle-age sex, sobs with a theater full of women as a psychic exorcises their sorrows, gets twenty shots of stomach bile to the neck to get rid of her double chin, and gathers up the courage to ask, "Are you there, Menopause? It's Me, Helen." A book that reads like the best cocktail party of your life, Bring Your Baggage and Don't Pack Light is alive with the sensational humor and ferocious love for her friends that won Helen Ellis legions of fans. This book has a raw vulnerability and an emotional generosity that takes this acclaimed author to a whole new level of accomplishment.

Southern Lady Code
Southern Lady Code

Author: Helen Ellis

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2019-04-16

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 0385543905

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A collection of essays that are "like being seated beside the most entertaining guest at a dinner party" (Atlanta Journal Constitution), from the New York Times bestselling author of American Housewives “Thank you Helen Ellis for writing down the Southern Lady Code so that others may learn.” —Ann Patchett, bestselling author of The Dutch House Helen Ellis has a mantra: “If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way.” Say “weathered” instead of “she looks like a cake left out in the rain” and “I’m not in charge” instead of “they’re doing it wrong.” In these twenty-three raucous essays, Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a Burberry trench coat, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left Alabama for New York City, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.

The Philosophy of Beards
The Philosophy of Beards

Author: Thomas S. Gowing

Publisher: DigiCat

Published: 2022-09-16

Total Pages: 63

ISBN-13:

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DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "The Philosophy of Beards" (A Lecture Physiological, Artistic & Historical) by Thomas S. Gowing. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

A Woman Trapped in a Woman's Body
A Woman Trapped in a Woman's Body

Author: Lauren Weedman

Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com

Published: 2011-02

Total Pages: 238

ISBN-13: 1459610679

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Lauren Weedman's hilarious essays read like a compendium of what not to do as a fully-realized, functional adult. Her self-deprecating, confessional, and terribly funny voice finds a special place in the hearts of those who can relate to her - which, for better or worse, includes all of us. From the uproarious account of her time at the Daily Sh...

The Action Hero's Handbook
The Action Hero's Handbook

Author: David Borgenicht

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2011-12-13

Total Pages: 196

ISBN-13: 1594745854

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Filled with action movie-inspired advice, this hilarious guide is the ultimate gag gift or stocking stuffer for anyone who wants to ‘keep up with the Indiana Joneses’ For everyone who’s ever wanted to be as smooth as James Bond, as clever as Captain Kirk, or as tough as Charlie’s Angels, The Action Hero’s Handbook is the ultimate guide to the essential skills every action hero needs to survive and thrive in this dangerous but exciting world. This book features dozens of real-life action hero techniques, directly from experts in the subjects at hand: FBI agents, sexologists, stuntmen, hypnotists, karate masters, criminologists, detectives, and many others. Learn how to: • Catch a great white shark • Deliver the Vulcan Nerve Pinch • Spyproof your hotel room • Win a fight when outnumbered • Climb down Mount Rushmore National Monument And dozens of other Good Guy Skills, Paranormal Skills, Fighting Skills, and Escape Skills. With meticulously researched step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Hero’s Handbook will get you ready for anything. Good luck—we’re all counting on you.

Rick Mercer Final Report
Rick Mercer Final Report

Author: Rick Mercer

Publisher: Anchor Canada

Published: 2019-10-22

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 0385692498

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Canada's pre-eminent satirical commentator brings down the curtain on his hugely successful show in this instant #1 national bestseller. Rick Mercer startled the nation when in 2017 he announced that the 15th season of Canada’s most-watched and beloved comedy show the Rick Mercer Report would be the last. As this book reminds us, he quit while he was way, way ahead. Final Report includes blisteringly good rants from the final five seasons and some of the very best rants from the show’s early years. And in three brilliant new essays that include a love letter to Parliament Buildings, how Doug Ford became Ontario premier (hint: it had nothing to do with talent) and how he managed not to freak out in the year after the RMR wrapped, Rick, a recipient of a 2019 Governor General’s Performing Arts Lifetime Artistic Achievement Award, reveals himself as a comic writer and entertainer at the very top of his game.

You're Leaving When?
You're Leaving When?

Author: Annabelle Gurwitch

Publisher: Catapult

Published: 2022-03-08

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 1640095276

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Finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor "In this surprisingly upbeat memoir, Annabelle Gurwitch writes about the financial curveballs that can hit you in midlife . . . Somehow, Ms. Gurwitch manages to find humor in these setbacks. Ultimately, this is a story about harnessing resilience and learning how life’s disappointments can teach you about the things that matter most." —Tara Parker-Pope, The New York Times From the New York Times bestselling author of I See You Made an Effort comes a timely and hilarious chronicle of downward mobility, financial and emotional. With signature "sharp wit" (NPR), Annabelle Gurwitch gives irreverent and empathetic voice to a generation hurtling into their next chapter with no safety net and proves that our no-frills new normal doesn't mean a deficit of humor. In these essays, Gurwitch embraces homesharing, welcoming a housing-insecure young couple and a bunny rabbit into her home. The mother of a college student in recovery who sheds the gender binary, she relearns to parent, one pronoun at a time. She wades into the dating pool in a Miss Havisham-inspired line of lingerie and flunks the magic of tidying up. You're Leaving When? is for anybody who thought they had a semblance of security but wound up with a fragile economy and a blankie. Gurwitch offers stories of resilience, adaptability, low-rent redemption, and the kindness of strangers. Even in a muted Zoom.