Insults Anywhere Kids Presents Joke Book Of The Living Dead

Insults Anywhere Kids Presents Joke Book Of The Living Dead

Author: Franklin Yantz

Publisher: Insults Anywhere

Published: 2014-08-21

Total Pages: 36

ISBN-13:

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If this is your first Halloween Joke Book, we should warn you: These jokes have been known to cause heart attacks. Because there are Draculas right behind you! [sound of thunder] Alright, shake it off, that's the last time we're going to scare you. Seriously, these jokes are the finest the lab could dig up from the cemetery! Even the cover of the book is so scary that you've died from fright just now and are a ghost! Also, what's that behind you? More jokes? Oh, it's just someone drinking a bottle of sparkling water. Oh wait it's a skeleton! [sound of creaking door] So enjoy these hundreds of jokes for the whole family and don't worry about all those Draculas. Except for that one that's right behind you again! [sound of creepy music] "We pull no punches and neither should you!"


Insults Anywhere Kids Presents Hundreds Of Kids Jokes They Can Tell Anywhere!

Insults Anywhere Kids Presents Hundreds Of Kids Jokes They Can Tell Anywhere!

Author: Franklin Yantz

Publisher: Insults Anywhere

Published: 2014-08-21

Total Pages: 42

ISBN-13:

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Whether you're a kid or just a kid at heart, the jokes in this book will make you laugh! Tell them at school, in the office, at church, family reunions, and anywhere else you can think of! It's a smorgasbord of silliness! A compilation of comedy! A feast of funny! Your children will never be without a joke! Jokes about animals, holidays, school, knock knock jokes, and more? Check! You won't ever be never without a joke again! "We pull no punches and neither should you!"


Easy Smashwords Formatting In Microsoft Office

Easy Smashwords Formatting In Microsoft Office

Author: Jay Johnson

Publisher: Jay Johnson

Published: 2014-09-17

Total Pages: 15

ISBN-13:

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Welcome to Easy Smashwords Formatting In Microsoft Office. In this guide you'll learn the ten steps it takes to get your book into the Smashwords Premium Distribution Program every time. This book is specifically designed for those of you who prefer to use Microsoft Word 2007 and above however it will work reasonably well with other versions of Word. My book, however, is just for those who want an exact step by step guide to the Nuclear Method. In it you'll discover how to get your book into the Premium Catalog and save time doing it in Microsoft Word.


Hyperbole and a Half

Hyperbole and a Half

Author: Allie Brosh

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2013-10-29

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 1451666187

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#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!


I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

Author: Sarah J. Robinson

Publisher: WaterBrook

Published: 2021-05-11

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 0593193539

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A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.


The Sense of an Ending

The Sense of an Ending

Author: Julian Barnes

Publisher: Vintage

Published: 2011-10-05

Total Pages: 158

ISBN-13: 0307957330

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BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.


A Little Life

A Little Life

Author: Hanya Yanagihara

Publisher: Vintage

Published: 2016-01-26

Total Pages: 833

ISBN-13: 0804172706

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.


Dreamland Burning

Dreamland Burning

Author: Jennifer Latham

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2016-01-26

Total Pages: 291

ISBN-13: 0316384941

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A compelling dual-narrated tale from Jennifer Latham that questions how far we've come with race relations. Some bodies won't stay buried. Some stories need to be told. When seventeen-year-old Rowan Chase finds a skeleton on her family's property, she has no idea that investigating the brutal century-old murder will lead to a summer of painful discoveries about the present and the past. Nearly one hundred years earlier, a misguided violent encounter propels seventeen-year-old Will Tillman into a racial firestorm. In a country rife with violence against blacks and a hometown segregated by Jim Crow, Will must make hard choices on a painful journey towards self discovery and face his inner demons in order to do what's right the night Tulsa burns. Through intricately interwoven alternating perspectives, Jennifer Latham's lightning-paced page-turner brings the Tulsa race riot of 1921 to blazing life and raises important questions about the complex state of US race relations--both yesterday and today.


The Knife of Never Letting Go

The Knife of Never Letting Go

Author: Patrick Ness

Publisher: Candlewick Press

Published: 2010-10-18

Total Pages: 510

ISBN-13: 0763652164

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A dystopian thriller follows a boy and girl on the run from a town where all thoughts can be heard – and the passage to manhood embodies a horrible secret. Todd Hewitt is the only boy in a town of men. Ever since the settlers were infected with the Noise germ, Todd can hear everything the men think, and they hear everything he thinks. Todd is just a month away from becoming a man, but in the midst of the cacophony, he knows that the town is hiding something from him -- something so awful Todd is forced to flee with only his dog, whose simple, loyal voice he hears too. With hostile men from the town in pursuit, the two stumble upon a strange and eerily silent creature: a girl. Who is she? Why wasn't she killed by the germ like all the females on New World? Propelled by Todd's gritty narration, readers are in for a white-knuckle journey in which a boy on the cusp of manhood must unlearn everything he knows in order to figure out who he truly is.


Plight of the Living Dead

Plight of the Living Dead

Author: Matt Simon

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2018-10-02

Total Pages: 258

ISBN-13: 1524705144

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A brain-bending exploration of real-life zombies and mind controllers, and what they reveal to us about nature—and ourselves Zombieism isn’t just the stuff of movies and TV shows like The Walking Dead. It’s real, and it’s happening in the world around us, from wasps and worms to dogs and moose—and even humans. In Plight of the Living Dead, science journalist Matt Simon documents his journey through the bizarre evolutionary history of mind control. Along the way, he visits a lab where scientists infect ants with zombifying fungi, joins the search for kamikaze crickets in the hills of New Mexico, and travels to Israel to meet the wasp that stings cockroaches in the brain before leading them to their doom. Nothing Hollywood dreams up can match the brilliant, horrific zombies that natural selection has produced time and time again. Plight of the Living Dead is a surreal dive into a world that would be totally unbelievable if very smart scientists didn’t happen to be proving it’s real, and most troublingly—or maybe intriguingly—of all: how even we humans are affected. “Fantastic . . . You'll be thinking about this book long after you're done reading it.” —Kelly Weinersmith, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Soonish