In Dog Years I'm Dead

In Dog Years I'm Dead

Author: Carol Lynn Pearson

Publisher: Gibbs Smith

Published: 2010-08-01

Total Pages: 130

ISBN-13: 1423615069

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Quips and quotes about aging to keep you laughing into your golden years. If there’s one thing most of us have learned by midlife, it’s that sharing laughter is what makes for the best memories—and one of the best ways to live until you die. You know you’re getting older when… •you do the hokey pokey and put your left hip out—and it stays out •you’re cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police •you’re sitting in a rocker and can’t get it started This treasury of humorous observations can lift the spirits of that large portion of the population who are settling into a new phase of life—and want to add laughter to all the other medicines they’re taking.


While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog

While I'm Dead - Feed the Dog

Author: Ric Browde

Publisher:

Published: 2000

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 9780006513742

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Imagine if J.D. Salinger had a sense of humour ... this intelligent, off-beat novel is fast-paced, wicked, dark and extremely funny. My publishers are trying to convince me that books are like albums and sell better when they are released posthumously. Seeing the point, I ask if I can at least fake my own death, but it seems that is fundamentally dishonest and they flatly refuse to be involved in any such fraud. So just in case I've croaked by the time you read this (and everyone but me is filthy rich), here is my story: one day I'm trying to get into the pants of the most beautiful girl in the world, Nina Pennington, and the next day I'm in the back of a limo on the road to rock'n'roll superstardom opening up for Bowie. But we hit a bump or two -- a few dead Mafia hitmen here, a nyphomaniac next door there, not to mention a few dying Latin teachers, narcoleptic nuns, inept policemen, unscupulous laywers, buffoon reporters, huckster televangelists and greedy relatives -- and now for some unknown reason a lot of people don't want to talk to me anymore. When sixteen-year-old Ric Thibault's story opens with his mother's attempted suicide note: While I'm dead... feed the dog and h


Garfield at 25

Garfield at 25

Author: Jim Davis

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Published: 2004-06

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780345452047

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A twenty-five year anniversary collection of cartoons of the famous cat Garfield.


Men Still at Work

Men Still at Work

Author: Elizabeth F. Fideler

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

Published: 2014-02-18

Total Pages: 233

ISBN-13: 144222276X

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Men Still at Work explores the reasons why many men are continuing to work well beyond the traditional retirement age. In today’s challenging economy, they are the second-fastest growing group of workers (just behind older women). Filled with profiles of older working men, as well as dynamic interview quotes, Men Still at Work explores thorny issues such as masculinity and the “need to provide,” as well as economic issues, job satisfaction, and more.


You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead

You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead

Author: Paul Benedetti

Publisher: Dundurn

Published: 2017-02-18

Total Pages: 258

ISBN-13: 1459738128

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Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Family life, marriage, kids, new experiences — he's written about them all, both funny and heartbreaking.


Dog Years

Dog Years

Author: Mark Doty

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2009-10-13

Total Pages: 258

ISBN-13: 0061842435

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A Washington Post Book World Best Book of the Year Winner of the Israel Fishman-Stonewall Book Award for Nonfiction "Tender and amusing. . . . Doty brilliantly captures the qualities that make dogs endearing." -- The New Yorker When Mark Doty decides to adopt a dog as a companion for his dying partner, he brings home Beau, a large, malnourished golden retriever in need of loving care. Joining Arden, the black retriever, to complete their family, Beau bounds back into life. Before long, the two dogs become Doty's intimate companions, and eventually the very life force that keeps him from abandoning all hope during the darkest days. Dog Years is a poignant, intimate memoir interwoven with profound reflections on our feelings for animals and the lessons they teach us about living, love, and loss.


I'll Mature When I'm Dead

I'll Mature When I'm Dead

Author: Dave Barry

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2010-05-04

Total Pages: 163

ISBN-13: 1101187271

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I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!


The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Author: Mark Haddon

Publisher: Anchor Canada

Published: 2009-02-24

Total Pages: 182

ISBN-13: 0307371565

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A bestselling modern classic—both poignant and funny—narrated by a fifteen year old autistic savant obsessed with Sherlock Holmes, this dazzling novel weaves together an old-fashioned mystery, a contemporary coming-of-age story, and a fascinating excursion into a mind incapable of processing emotions. Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. At fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbour’s dog Wellington impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing. Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer, and turns to his favourite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As Christopher tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, the narrative draws readers into the workings of Christopher’s mind. And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotions. The effect is dazzling, making for one of the freshest debut in years: a comedy, a tearjerker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.


Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker?

Is that a Dead Dog in Your Locker?

Author: Todd Strasser

Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

Published: 2008-08

Total Pages: 191

ISBN-13: 0439776945

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When Leyton and Wade Tardy agree to help their friend Daisy hide a dog at school, they have no idea what they're getting themselves into.


No More Dead Dogs

No More Dead Dogs

Author: Gordon Korman

Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Published: 2012-12-25

Total Pages: 174

ISBN-13: 1423141202

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Best-selling author Gordon Korman's middle-grade favorite, now with a fresh look! Wallace Wallace won’t lie, even if it means detention. And after he handed in a scorching book report of the classic novel, Old Shep, My Pal, detention is just what he’s been handed. He is sure he’s done nothing wrong: he hated every minute of that book, especially when the dog dies in the end! Why do dogs always die at the end? Wallace refuses to do a rewrite of his report, so his English teacher, who happens to be directing the school play of Old Shep, My Pal, forces him go to the rehearsals to teach him a lesson on why the story is the way it is. Surrounded by theater kids who are apprehensive of him, Wallace sets out to prove himself. But not by changing his mind. Instead, he changes the play into a rock-and-roll rendition, complete with Rollerblades and a moped!