I Nearly Shit Myself: Books 1-4.
I Nearly Shit Myself: Books 1-4.

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 188

ISBN-13:

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I Nearly Shit Myself #1. Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible! I Nearly Shit Myself #2. A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan! I Nearly Shit Myself #3. When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself #4. When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! The, I Nearly Shit Myself, series are now being published under new titles with alternative endings.

I Nearly Shit Myself 1
I Nearly Shit Myself 1

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published: 2017-05-15

Total Pages: 94

ISBN-13: 1521301727

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A fun story packed with comedy/ horror, humour and a hugely different type of ghost, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! Do you believe in ghosts? Bill begins to think differently as his first night shift back as a Security Guard gets off to a bumpy start and he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible during the Night Shift from hell. This book is now published as… Night Shift. Horror & Hilarity with a Banana Taste! This edition has an alternative ending.

I Nearly Shit Myself 4
I Nearly Shit Myself 4

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew m Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 62

ISBN-13:

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I Nearly Shit Myself 4: Nature has a funny way of doing things sometimes, and it only takes a slight change in an Ecosystem and everything can go to pot. Take parasites for example, they have developed themselves over millions of years, and even use us humans for their own ends. Like the unassuming tapeworm. Their reproduction can be quite amazing and the lengths they will go to get what they want, and like all living things, the end goal is to reproduce and multiply, but when humans get involved, it generally does not end well! When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! I Nearly Shit Myself, are a series of books that are written for the sole purpose of humour, but not just any old humour. This series of books are aimed at readers with a warped and twisted sense of humour/humor. You have been warned. PG 18.

I Nearly Shit Myself 3
I Nearly Shit Myself 3

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 78

ISBN-13:

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I Nearly Shit Myself 3, is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself 3 is now being published as, The PLONKER with an alternative ending.

I Nearly Shit Myself 2
I Nearly Shit Myself 2

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew m Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 86

ISBN-13:

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I Nearly Shit Myself 2, is a comedy/horror story with a strange type of entity, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! This fun detective story from Joe KING, has plenty of humour/humor to give you something quite different to read! A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan!

A Horse Called Jo. Part 1
A Horse Called Jo. Part 1

Author: Andrew M Molloy

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 155

ISBN-13:

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During the school summer holiday, Jessica Strawbridge gets thrown off her new horse Jo, her life becomes a living nightmare when she awakens from taking a hit to her head as she tries to piece her life back together. Not only does she discover that Jo must be returned to the evil Mrs Crowberry who said she could have Jo on loan for two months. After discovering just how horrid Mrs Crowberry really is she must now figure out a way of saving Jo. Learning Mrs Crowberry is part of some sort of witchcraft circle, Jo has been used in her evil deeds. The constant dreams and visions of time running out plague Jessica’s every sleeping moment. Making everything feel surreal, as Jessica wrestles with her own mind that keeps trying to convince her that this cannot be happening, but inside, she knows it is all true. With an impulse so strong to save Jo, Jessica will stop at nothing if it means she can be with her special friend, even if it means risking her own life to get him back! Will the nightmare ever end? Or will something so incredible happen that will change Jessica’s life and understanding of horses forever!

The Sausage Man
The Sausage Man

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 61

ISBN-13:

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When Gavin Granger relocates to Tameworth to sell his brand of sausage, little did he realise that things were going to take a turn for the worse, and the better, in this short tale of humour and a mild dose of horror. For years, Gavin had been selling his exotic sausage from his pitch up North, but as things got a little hairy and trade took a tumble, Tameworth was his choice of relocation. With a newfound zeal to sell his special brand of sausage from his van and his new pitch, things were going well until the locals began to suspect there was more to his sausage than just the porky variety. As things escalate out of his control, and the police sniff round his sausage, Gavin must come up with a plan to get out of this mess that is mounting up and fast. With his livelihood in jeopardy once more, rumours soon begin to take on a life of their own as two local business he has had dealings with mysteriously disappear, causing Gavin to rethink his exotic brand of sausage with his secret ingredient in and come up with a plan that keeps his dream of selling his sausage alive! With local pets going missing, fingers soon point to one man and his sausage. Will Gavin find a way out of this mess or will his small sausage business get shafted? Determined to survive, there was only one way forward for Gavin the sausage man. More.

Magnetifico
Magnetifico

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 134

ISBN-13:

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Magnetifico: Tales for the Funny(dark)side. When brothers Tommy and Mick Stone go on a reconciliation weekend to the Welsh valleys, little did they realise that they were going to get caught in the middle of something so out of this World, it is going to change their lives forever. Since childhood, both had gone their separate ways in life. Mike, an academic with a family, children, and a bright future. Tommy, living life on the edge. Going from scam to scam to make ends meet without a care in the world. Neither of them would believe what they would find on that weekend of bonding, and neither would forget the tragic set of circumstances they have now found themselves in the middle of. But what they do not realise is that this mysterious event they have now witnessed, has drawn them into a deadly game of life and death. With changes happening to them, and events happening in the background they have no concept of, they return to their lives thinking they are the only ones who know the truth. How wrong could they have been as this alien contact story leads the brothers on an adventure they will never forget!

The Fat Bird
The Fat Bird

Author: Joe KING

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 86

ISBN-13:

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The Fat Bird is a compelling short story from Joe KING, that depicts the lives of a working-class family, and how it can all fall apart when given the right set of circumstances. A story of trust, hope, despair and how relationships within the family unit are interdependent, yet independent of each other. When Josie's failed relationship leads her on a journey of overeating and tremendous weight gain, she finds solace in an unlikely friend. A Robin, she names The Fat Bird. After a one-night stand with her ex-boyfriend, she not only realises she is pregnant, but now faces the prospect of raising her child alone. Her parent’s relationship is falling apart, and they too must try to come to terms with the prospect of divorce. Josie's abusive father has also been overindulging for many years, and he too faces a bleak future with his weight-gain now putting his job at risk. All three must now try to find a path in life which can bring them back from the brink of a complete family meltdown, or face a destiny only reserved for those on a path of self-destruction, and ultimately... death. With Josie's fathers drinking spiralling out of control, and her mother ready to walk out, can they bring their lives back to the place it once used to be! Or has it all gone too far?

Climate Change: You, And Your Garden
Climate Change: You, And Your Garden

Author: Andrew M Molloy

Publisher: Andrew M Molloy

Published:

Total Pages: 116

ISBN-13:

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Climate Change: You, and your Garden. Climate change has become such a common word these days that we can fall into the trap of misunderstanding its importance as gardeners, and in our lives in general. This general guide will help show you how your garden can help with climate change. How you can add features and plants that will contribute to a user-friendlier garden, and how to create a more bio diverse garden to help the decline in plant, insect and mammal species. This book also contains some general information on climate change and how it is affecting You and Your garden. The world we all share is changing, and we do, as gardeners need to adapt, and change with the climate we all now face. Your garden is yours to do as you wish, so why not help the planet and also create a place for your local wildlife.