Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.
You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.
Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living.
With practicality and humor, these anecdotes show how choices we make in our 30s and 40s determine who we will become as we grow older--and how making right choices helps us develop positive traits including courage to face change, growth in grace, and contentment.
With this delightful, tongue-in-cheek guide for men who can win a case before the Supreme Court or run a conglomerate but can’t find the butter, Ms. McHugh provides a step-by-step guide for making breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, finding the clothes hamper and doing the laundry, along with an assortment of other domestic necessities. She continues with wise advice for men whose wives are pregnant—“How to Live with a Pregnant Wife Without Complaining about Anything While Making Her Feel Sexy and Desirable At All Times”, tells them how to go without sleep for three months after the baby is born, and finishes up with “How to Watch Football and the Baby at the Same Time.” A chapter on taking care of three small boys while staying sane should be on every young father’s emergency list for times when his wife is out of town on business or visiting her mother in Iowa. And finally, instructions on answering a ringing telephone, folding shirts for a business trip and finding his wallet, keys, glasses, socks and underwear are absolute must-reads for every man who thinks some invisible being does all those things. Aimed at busy women of all ages, this book will also make grown men laugh and might even be useful when they run out of underwear.
Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but the alien known as teenager comes from a place way beyond those two. What else would account for that incredible transformation from loving child to the hostile creature who wants zilch to do with dear old Mom and Dad? How to Ruin Your Children's Lives is a survival manual for enduring this transmutation and-with a little luck-maintaining enough sanity to one day hear those longed-for words, Hey, I guess you weren't so stupid after all.Purple hair? Belly rings? Bizarre musical tastes? Not a problem as long as readers have How to Ruin Your Children's Lives' nearly 300 tips and tactics close at hand. With resident teenagers slamming doors and screaming at the top of their lungs, Mom! You're ruining my life! parents should at least make certain they're handling the job with aplomb.Consider these tips: o Call them at their friend's house to ask if they want lasagna for dinner.o Ask them about girlfriends (or boyfriends) in front of relatives.o Tell them about the time you streaked when you were in college.o Sing old Beatles songs when their friends are in the car.o Dress like Christina Aguilera.Author Mary McHugh is right on target. She shows parents how to match attitude with attitude and how to carry on whether the teen-parent subject is sex, using the family car, grades, or curfews. This book's perfect for any parent in the trenches and for empty nesters trying to stem their tears.
Tom Johnson has turned 85 and has suffered a few “events,” though he knows his mind is sharp. His oldest son, who had Down Syndrome has died, and his remaining two children want to move him out of the homestead lake house and into a retirement home in town. What Tom wants to do is to find the only woman he ever loved, a woman he met in the Netherlands where he was stationed during World War II. And so he slips away, deftly covers his tracks, and begins his search for her in Eindhoven. While his children try to track him down and then have him extradited back home, Tom delves into love and loss and the value of memory. Soon he catches sight of a woman he believes to be Sarah, the love he lost almost a lifetime ago. He will have to fight for her affections and forgiveness, even as he fights for the legal right to stay in the Netherlands in the name of love and family and all the remaining rights of an old man.
The most comprehensive and explosive book on the worst scandal in the history of sports, Game Over investigates the devastating sexual abuse case that brought down Joe Paterno and forever tarnished the name of Penn State. In this incisive work of investigative journalism, Bill Moushey and Bob Dvorchak, along with Lisa Pulitzer, go behind the headlines, official statements, and court transcripts to tell the full story of the sexual abuse scandal that has rocked the nation—a tale of power, privilege, money, and politics that leads from the football building on the Penn State campus to the administration’s boardroom to the highest echelons of the state capital and beyond. Eye-opening and fast-paced, Game Over exposes the lies, willful ignorance, and cover-ups that may have allowed a sexual predator to use his position and status to prey on vulnerable young victims for years. Its explosive new discoveries shatter the illustrious image of “Happy Valley”—State College, Pennsylvania, home to one of the nation’s most successful and highly lucrative college football programs. Moushey, Dvorchak, and Pulitzer craft a story that is as compelling as it is unsettling. Probing beneath the male-dominated football culture, they share the untold stories of the mothers and wives, the sisters and daughters associated with the scandal. They trace the rise and fall of hometown hero and national icon Joe Paterno—the Nittany Lion’s legendary head coach with the most wins in the history of college football, including two national championship titles—juxtaposing Penn State’s success and glory with the hidden anguish of former coach Jerry Sandusky’s accusers. As it details the rise and fall of the individuals associated with the scandal, it also makes clear the larger implications for the university, its vaunted football program, the community, and all of us. An exploration of the messy morality of pride and loyalty, silence and bearing witness, Game Over will leave readers pondering their own values and their beliefs in right and wrong.
Just when you thought you had it all figured out . . . "Alex Peter Gregory, you are a moron!" Laurie slammed her palms down on my desk and stomped her foot. I get a lot of that.One car crash.One measly little car crash. And suddenly, I'm some kind of convicted felon.My parents are getting divorced, my dad is shacking up with my third-grade teacher, I might be in love with a girl who could kill me with one finger, and now I'm sentenced to babysit some insane old guy.What else could possibly go wrong?This is the story of Alex Gregory, his guitar, his best gal pal Laurie, and the friendship of a lifetime that he never would have expected.
“IN THIS THIRD ACT OF MY LIFE, MUCH HAS BECOME CLEARER. SO MUCH IS OVER, AND I AM OVER SO MUCH . . .” At a certain time in life, we all come to realize what is truly important to us and what just doesn’t matter. For Shirley MacLaine, that time is now. In this wise, witty, and fearless collection of small observations and big-picture questions, she shares with readers all those things that she is over dealing with in life, in love, at home, and in the larger world . . . as well as the things she will never get over, no matter how long she lives. Among the things that Shirley is over: people who repeat themselves (“when you didn’t care what they said the first time”); conservatives and liberals; ill-mannered young people; the poison of celebrity (“Why do so many people want to be famous when they see how it can destroy your life?”); being polite to boring people (“If they won’t stop talking, I go into a trance and meditate”); getting older in Hollywood (“How peaceful it is not to have to look particularly pretty anymore or to wear a size 6”). In the opposite camp, there are some things Shirley will never get over: good lighting (“Marlene Dietrich taught me how to light myself”); gorgeous costars (“The vanity of male actors is an impossible wall to scale”); performing live (“Yes, it is better than sex”); and above all, brave people with curious minds (“Fear is the most powerful weapon of mass destruction”). Along the way, she recalls stories of some of the true greats she has known—Alfred Hitchcock, Elizabeth Taylor, Frank Sinatra, the two Jacks (Lemmon and Nicholson)—and ruminates on the state of Hollywood past and present. She recollects her relationships and romances with politicians (including two prime ministers), scientists, journalists, and costars. An unabashed seeker of truth and unrepentant free spirit, Shirley looks squarely at a world that can irritate, confuse, and provoke her, but that can also delight her with its beauty, humor, and future promise. Reading I’m Over All That will make you feel you have been reunited with an old friend who tells it like it is but never takes herself too seriously. Shirley MacLaine may be over all that, but this irresistible book ensures that we will never get over her.
