Laugh . . . and learn. The 30 stories in this collection will delight you while they enlighten you. Meet George, the big, tough kid at summer camp who finds he isn’t so tough after all. And disobedient Dan, who ends up losing his shorts . . . literally. And Kermit, a hotshot on the ski slope, who discovers a hilarious truth about pride and a fall. You’ll chuckle in surprise as rowdy Mary and Betsy watch their mother’s strange behavior in church. And when a practical joke intended for Charlie gets his three friends in a heap of trouble. And when Jack, who thinks a lie will cover his secret, wakes up to a squirmy surprise. And when sly Sally gets caught by the catch of the day. You’ll find yourself reading and retelling these stories to family, friends, and anyone who needs a good laugh . . . and a lesson.
#1 bestselling author James Patterson doles out the laughs in the first book in the hit series! Middle-schooler Jamie Grimm faces bullies and self-doubt as he chases his dream of becoming the world’s greatest comedian Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Prepare to laugh and cheer along with Jamie in this highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story.
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
What is grace? It's getting better than you deserve. Maybe you really ought to be punished or rejected for something you did. But you aren't. Guide has collected their all-time favorite stories involving people like you who were shown the mercy of God's grace.
First published in 1961, this is the autobiography of Harpo Marx, the silent comedian of The Marx Brothers fame. Writing of his life before, during, and after becoming famous by incorporating lovely and humorous stories and anecdotes, Harp Marx tells of growing up in a rough neighborhood and being poor, being bullied and dropping out of school, teaching himself to read, write, tell time, and to play the piano and harp. He speaks of his close relationships with his family members, particularly his mother and brother Leonard (Chico), who would become his partner-in-crime on screen, and the profound effect that the death of his parents Sam and Minnie had on him. Filled with insider tales of his antics on and off stage, and the hard graft he and his brothers put into reaching their level of success, the reader becomes privy to a rare glimpse into Marx’ thoughts on everything and everyone he had the privilege of working with. The book reveals the friendships he forged and the blows he was dealt in show-business, and of his marriage to his wife, actress Susan Fleming, with whom he adopted four children and built a ranch on which they lived happily ever after, along with numerous animals. A thoroughly enjoyable read. “This is a riotous story which is reasonably mad and as accurate as a Marx brother can make it. Despite only a year and a half of schooling, Harpo, or perhaps his collaborator, is the best writer of the Marx Brother. Highly recommended.”—Library Journal “A funny, affectionate and unpretentious autobiography done with a sharply professional assist from Rowland Barber.”—New York Times Book Review “This is a racy autobiography by the mute Marx Brother with the rolling eyes, oversized pants and red wig who could send a glissando reeling over his harp.[...] It is enjoyable reading and polished writing...”—Kirkus Review
Funny Girl is a collection of uproarious stories, rollicking comics, rib-tickling wit, and more, from 25 of today’s funniest female writers for kids. What could be funnier than family? Read stories about Ursula Brown's grandmother driving her on a road trip to disaster, Lisa Brown's little brother getting a Tic-Tac stuck up his nose, and Carmen Agra Deedy's mom setting the bathtub on fire. What could be funnier than friends? Pretty much nothing, as Rita Williams-Garcia shows two besties hatching a bird-brained scheme to get on to a TV talk show, and Deborah Underwood introduces a dynamic dog-and-cat duo teaming up on a pet advice column. What could be funnier than YOU? Tell your future with Mad Libs, discover your Chinese Zodiac sign with Lenore Look, and learn the best tricks of the comedy trade from professional humorists like Adrianne Chalepah and Delaney Yeager. With clever contributions from award-winning and bestselling authors including Cece Bell, Sophie Blackall, Libba Bray, Shannon Hale, Lisa Graff, and Raina Telgemeier, this anthology of funny girls will make you laugh until you cry. Or cry until you laugh. Or maybe you won't cry at all. Either way, you'll definitely laugh. Funny Girl isn’t just an anthology: it’s a cause, a mission, a movement. Girls are funny. Now it’s time for the world to know it.
"[Prochnow] . . . wrote the book on public speaking." --The Chicago Rotary Club "A wonderful collection! This is must reading for all who give speeches." --James W. Robinson, author of "Better Speeches in 10 Simple Steps "A veritable treasure chest--all in one volume." --"American Banker Add sparkle to your speeches and introductions. Enliven your conversations with humor and memorable facts so that important ideas will not be forgotten. With more than 2,000 epigrams, literary quotations, anecdotes from biographies, humorous stories, inspiring illustrations, and interesting facts, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is the essential reference you need to present your ideas colorfully and effectively. Inside you'll find: - 500 humorous stories - 500 epigrams and quips - 160 unusual quotations from world leaders through the ages - 292 humorous definitions - 100 stories and comments from unusual lives - 190 statements on important subjects by great thinkers - 209 wise and witty proverbs - and so much more! A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is great for any occasion and makes for enjoyable browsing too!
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Finalist for the PEN/USA Award in Creative Nonfiction, the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and the Audie Award in Biography/Memoir This Random House Reader’s Circle edition includes a reading group guide and a conversation between Firoozeh Dumas and Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner! “Remarkable . . . told with wry humor shorn of sentimentality . . . In the end, what sticks with the reader is an exuberant immigrant embrace of America.”—San Francisco Chronicle In 1972, when she was seven, Firoozeh Dumas and her family moved from Iran to Southern California, arriving with no firsthand knowledge of this country beyond her father’s glowing memories of his graduate school years here. More family soon followed, and the clan has been here ever since. Funny in Farsi chronicles the American journey of Dumas’s wonderfully engaging family: her engineer father, a sweetly quixotic dreamer who first sought riches on Bowling for Dollars and in Las Vegas, and later lost his job during the Iranian revolution; her elegant mother, who never fully mastered English (nor cared to); her uncle, who combated the effects of American fast food with an army of miraculous American weight-loss gadgets; and Firoozeh herself, who as a girl changed her name to Julie, and who encountered a second wave of culture shock when she met and married a Frenchman, becoming part of a one-couple melting pot. In a series of deftly drawn scenes, we watch the family grapple with American English (hot dogs and hush puppies?—a complete mystery), American traditions (Thanksgiving turkey?—an even greater mystery, since it tastes like nothing), and American culture (Firoozeh’s parents laugh uproariously at Bob Hope on television, although they don’t get the jokes even when she translates them into Farsi). Above all, this is an unforgettable story of identity, discovery, and the power of family love. It is a book that will leave us all laughing—without an accent. Praise for Funny in Farsi “Heartfelt and hilarious—in any language.”—Glamour “A joyful success.”—Newsday “What’s charming beyond the humor of this memoir is that it remains affectionate even in the weakest, most tenuous moments for the culture. It’s the brilliance of true sophistication at work.”—Los Angeles Times Book Review “Often hilarious, always interesting . . . Like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, this book describes with humor the intersection and overlapping of two cultures.”—The Providence Journal “A humorous and introspective chronicle of a life filled with love—of family, country, and heritage.”—Jimmy Carter “Delightfully refreshing.”—Milwaukee Journal Sentinel “[Funny in Farsi] brings us closer to discovering what it means to be an American.”—San Jose Mercury News
Mosquitoes can bite all kinds of people--ballerinas, chefs, babies, even you and me. But they can't bite . . . NINJAS! Mosquitoes might be quick, but ninjas are quicker. Mosquitoes might be sneaky, but ninjas are sneakier. And mosquitoes might be hungry, but ninjas are . . . hungrier! With tons of not-very-stealthy appeal, Jordan P. Novak's debut delivers buzzy, wacky, and hilarious read-to-me eBook.
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).
