Coping with the death of a loved one can be the most traumatic and stressful situation most people ever deal with - and the practical and emotional help available to the bereaved is often very poor. As the bereaved struggle to make sense of their new situation they often find that the advice they receive is produced by medical professionals who have never personally experienced grief; and filled with platitudes and clichés, with very little practical help. How long does grief last? What can I do to help myself? Are there really five stages of grief? Why can't other people understand how I feel? Will I ever be happy again? Pat Bertram debunks many established beliefs about what grief is, how it affects those left behind, and how to adjust to a world that no longer contains your loved one.
The grief books that just "gets it." Each year about eight million Americans suffer the unexpected death of a loved one. For those who face the challenges of sudden death, the classic guide I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye offers a comforting hand to hold, written by two authors who have experienced it firsthand. Acting as a touchstone of sanity through difficult times, this book covers such difficult topics as: The first few weeks Suicide Death of a Child Children and Grief Funerals and Rituals Physical effects Homicide Depression Featured on ABC World News, Fox and Friends and many other shows, this book has offered solace to over eight thousand people, ranging from seniors to teenagers and from the newly bereaved those who lost a loved one years ago. An exploration of unexpected death and its role in the cycle of live, I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives. Praise for I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: "I highly recommend this book, not only to the bereaved, but to friends and counselors as well."-- Helen Fitzgerald, author of The Grieving Child, The Mourning Handbook, and The Grieving Teen "This book, by women who have done their homework on grief... can hold a hand and comfort a soul through grief's wilderness. Outstanding references of where to see other help."-- George C. Kandle, Pastoral Psychologist "Finally, you have found a friend who can not only explain what has just occurred, but can take you by the hand and lead you to a place of healing and personal growth...this guide can help you survive and cope, but even more importantly... heal."-- The Rebecca Review "For those dealing with the loss of a loved one, or for those who want to help someone who is, this is a highly recommended read."--Midwest Book Review
A vulnerable, honest and deeply personal guide to finding your way through grief. Flora Baker was only twenty when her mum died suddenly of cancer. Her coping strategy was simple: ignore the magnitude of her loss. But when her dad became terminally ill nine years later, Flora was forced to confront the reality of grief. She had to accept that her life had changed forever. In The Adult Orphan Club, Flora draws on a decade of experience with grief and parent loss to explore all the chaotic ways that grief affects us, and how we can learn to navigate it. Written with the newly bereaved in mind and packed with practical tips and advice, this book guides the reader through every step of their grief journey and opens up the death conversation in an honest, heartfelt and accessible way. Whether you’re grieving your own loss or supporting someone else through grief, The Adult Orphan Club will show you that you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.
Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back is a collection of candid stories from grieving dads that were interviewed over a two year period. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad, "this terrible, terrible club," which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale. They are real stories that pull no punches and are told with brutal honesty. Men that have shared their deepest and darkest moments. Moments that included thoughts of suicide, self-medication and homelessness. Some of these men have found their way back from the brink while others are still standing there, stuck in their pain. The core message of Grieving Dads is "you're not alone." It is a message that desperately needs to be delivered to grieving dads who often grieve in silence due to society's expectations. Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back is a book that no grieving dad or anyone who cares for him should be without. As any grieving parent will tell you, there are no words to describe the hell one experiences after the death of a child. Many men have no clue how to deal with or understand the myriad emotional, mental, and physical responses experienced after the death of a child. Stories appearing in the book have been carefully selected to represent a cross-section of fathers, as well as a diverse portrayal of loss. This approach helps reflect the full spectrum of grief, from the early days of shock and trauma to the long view after living with loss for many years. Any bereaved father will find brotherhood in these pages, and will feel that someone understands them. While there is plenty of raw emotion in this book-the stories are not exercises in self-pity nor are they studies in grief. They are survival stories instead. Some are testimonies to hope. Some are gut-wrenching accounts of overwhelming despair. But all of them are real-life stories from real-life grieving dads, and they show that even if one reaches his physical and emotional bottom, it is possible (although not easy) to live through that pain and find one's way to the other side of grief. Most dads in this book found themselves in a state of physical, mental, and emotional collapse after the death of their child. As if the losses alone weren't enough to drive these men to the brink, most try to deal with their grief according to the conventional wisdom so many men are brought up with, which perversely, increases their suffering all the more. We all know the party line about how men are "supposed" to deal with loss or even disappointment: toughen up, get back to work, take it like a man, support your wife, don't talk about your emotions, don't lose control, and if you must cry-by all means do so in private.
“Shannon’s struggle, defiance, strength, and power emanate from every page. That kind of brave can be trusted." — Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of Untamed and Founder of Together Rising For all women looking to find “hope in a hopeless world and bravery in an age that seems to lack it,” comes a searing memoir by Shannon Dingle, a writer and disability advocate who has navigated loss, trauma, abuse, spiritual reawakening, and deep pain—and come out the other side still hopeful. Shannon Dingle has experienced more than her fair share of tragedy and trauma in her life, including surviving sexual abuse and trafficking as a child that left her with lasting disabilities and experiencing faith shifts that put her at odds with the evangelical church that had been her home. Then, in July 2019, Shannon’s husband was tragically killed by a rogue wave while the family was on vacation. The grief of the aftermath of losing her love and life partner sits at the heart of Living Brave, where Shannon’s searing, raw prose, illustrates what it looks like to take brave steps on the other side of unimaginable loss. Through each challenge, she reveals the ways she learned to walk through them to the other side, and find courage even through the darkest moments. Living Brave gives women permission to wrestle with difficult topics, to use their voice, to take a stand for justice, to honor the wisdom of their bodies, and to enact change from a place of strong faith.
Suicide would appear to be the last taboo. Even incest is now discussed freely in popular media, but the suicide of a loved one is still an act most people are unable to talk about--or even admit to their closest family or friends. This is just one of the many painful and paralyzing truths author Carla Fine discovered when her husband, a successful young physician, took his own life in December 1989. And being unable to speak openly and honestly about the cause of her pain made it all the more difficult for her to survive. With No Time to Say Goodbye, she brings suicide survival from the darkness into light, speaking frankly about the overwhelming feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, anger, and loneliness that are shared by all survivors. Fine draws on her own experience and on conversations with many other survivors--as well as on the knowledge of counselors and mental health professionals. She offers a strong helping hand and invaluable guidance to the vast numbers of family and friends who are left behind by the more than thirty thousand people who commit suicide each year, struggling to make sense of an act that seems to them senseless, and to pick up the pieces of their own shattered lives. And, perhaps most important, for the first time in any book, she allows survivors to see that they are not alone in their feelings of grief and despair.
Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one's capacity to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon, illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.
"Grief: The Great Yearning" is not a how-to but a how-done, a compilation of letters, blog posts, and journal entries Pat Bertram wrote while struggling to survive her first year of grief. This is an exquisite book, wrenching to read, and at the same time full of profound truths. ""Grief: The Great Yearning" by Pat Bertram is a book of empathic understanding. How many recently bereft have looked to society's guidelines for grieving and found these "norms" did not correspond to what they were feeling? How many were left confused and even more depressed because they were not "progressing" like the experts said they should? Bertram's book is a comfort to those of us tossed into the grief whirlwind of disbelief and agony. The entire book is raw and real. "Grief: The Great Yearning" is a companion guide from someone who has already been there. It is a forever love letter." -J J Dare, author of "False Positive" and "False World." ""Grief: The Great Yearning" by Pat Bertram is a wonderful tribute to Jeff (Bertram's deceased life mate/soul mate) and to Bertram's own stamina." -Malcolm R. Campbell, author of "The Sun Singer" and "Sarabande" "Everyone needs to read "Grief: A Great Yearning" by Pat Bertram. It's the best grief book I've ever read, and I have read the Kubler-Ross books and "The Year of Magical Thinking." Pat Bertram's book feels like what most of us would experience, makes me feel what she is feeling, and it's written from the inside out." -Brenda Buckner Wallace, author of "Brilliant Prey" "If people were to ask me for an example of how grief can be faced in order for the healthiest outcome, I would refer them to "Grief: The Great Yearning," which should be the grief process bible. Pat Bertram's willingness to confront grief head on combined with her openness to change is the epitome of good mental health." -Leesa Healy, Consultant in Emotional-Mental Health."
The award-winning author of Widows Wear Stilettos and grief recovery expert helps women cope with the legal and financial difficulties associated with the death of a spouse as well as going back to work, and eventually dating again. 10,000 first printing.
Offering heartfelt and simple advice, this book provides realistic suggestions and relief for an adult child whose parent has died. Practical advice is presented in a one-topic-per-page format that does not overwhelm with psychological language, but provides small, immediate ways to understand and reconcile grief. Some of the action-oriented tips include writing down memories, completing a task or goal left unfinished by your deceased parent, or honoring the parent’s birthday. In addition the common challenges that face grieving adult children, such as helping the surviving parent, resolving sibling conflicts, and legal and financial issues, are addressed clearly and concisely.
