More than twenty years ago, a little-known Swiss psychoanalyst wrote a book that changed the way many people viewed themselves and their world. In simple but powerful prose, the deeply moving Drama of the Gifted Child showed how parents unconsciously form and deform the emotional lives of their children. Alice Miller's stories about the roots of suffering in childhood resonated with readers, and her book soon became a backlist best seller. In The Truth Will Set You Free Miller returns to the intensely personal tone and themes of her best-loved work. Only by embracing the truth of our past histories can any of us hope to be free of pain in the present, she argues. Miller uses vivid true stories to reveal the perils of early-childhood mistreatment and the dangers of mindless obedience to parental will. Drawing on the latest research on brain development, she shows how spanking and humiliation produce dangerous levels of denial, which leads in turn to emotional blindness and to mental barriers that cut off awareness and the ability to learn new ways of acting. If this cycle repeats itself, the grown child will perpetrate the same abuse on later generations -- a message vitally important, especially given the increasing popularity of programs like Tough Love and of "child disciplinarians" like James Dobson. The Truth Will Set You Free will provoke and inform all readers who want to know Alice Miller's latest thinking on this important subject.
From the author of the bestselling classic The Drama of the Gifted Child—a book that believes that children are inherently good and traces all forms of criminal deeds to past mistreatments. In direct opposition to the Freudian drive theory, "Alice Miller writes lucidly and passionately, asks daring questions and sees through conventions that most of us take for granted" (San Francisco Chronicle).
This “rare and compelling” (New York Magazine) bestseller examines childhood trauma and the enduring effects it has on an individual's management of repressed anger and pain. Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound book has provided millions of readers with an answer--and has helped them to apply it to their own lives. Far too many of us had to learn as children to hide our own feelings, needs, and memories skillfully in order to meet our parents' expectations and win their "love." Alice Miller writes, "When I used the word 'gifted' in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb.... Without this 'gift' offered us by nature, we would not have survived." But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth.
This is an empowering work from a world-renowned psychoanalyst that enables readers to come to terms with their repressed emotions and break the cycle of violence.
A strong criticism of Sigmund Freud’s research regarding sexually abused children, from the bestselling author of The Drama of the Gifted Child. Originally published in 1984, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware explodes Freud’s notions of “infantile sexuality” and helps to bring to the world’s attention the brutal reality of child abuse, changing forever our thoughts of “traditional” methods of child-rearing. Dr. Alice Miller exposes the harsh truths behind children’s “fantasies” by examining case histories, works of literature, dreams, and the lives of such people as Franz Kafka, Virginia Woolf, Gustave Flaubert, and Samuel Beckett. Now with a new preface by Lloyd de Mause and a new introduction by the author, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware continues to bring an essential understanding to the confrontation and treatment of the devastating effects of child abuse. Praise for Thou Shalt Not Be Aware “Epoch-making . . . Alice Miller’s courage, warmth, experienced intuition and candor yield fascinating insights.” —The Boston Globe “A provocative critique of traditional therapy’s view of childhood . . . This is explosive stuff. I can’t imagine anyone coming away from this book without several newfound discoveries about herself and her relation to her parents.” —Glamour “Thou Shalt Not Be Aware is that rarest of gems, a highly creative and exciting work which throws a multifaceted light upon the development of human nature in the Western World.” —Ashley Montagu “Alice Miller is not out to “hang the bastards,” but rather to help create a world of self-conscious and self-loving individuals who don’t need, want or know how to abuse others.” —San Francisco Chronicle “It is timely. It is powerful. It is painful . . . absorbing, enlightening and provoking.” —Charlotte Observer
The ,,true" Drama of the Gifted Child is a biography of the famous childhood researcher Alice Miller. As her son and as an experienced psychotherapist I discovered the secret who Alice Miller really was. My mother always cared that nothing of her private life got public. She created a fictional character in her books and in mine she gets a real person, a man of flesh and blood.It's also my history because I describe, how it is when you are faced, as a child and in second generation, with the not coped post-war trauma of your parents.Alice Miller created a mother image in her books she never complied. My book shows what happens when you do not overcome your traumas and you pass them on the next generation. The book is also a concrete application of Alice Miller's theory. It shows how you can overcome the terrible legacy of your parents in a therapeutical way.I can release myself of the filial involvement with my parents by having elaborated my own biography.
Seeing yourself as God sees you is essential to overcoming your deepest struggles, having healthy relationships, living in freedom, and fulfilling your life purpose. Yet most of us look at ourselves with warped mirrors, believing lies that lead to shame, guilt, fear, insecurity, and spiritual stagnation. The lies of our past keep us stuck, struggling with the same issues and habits for years. But according to the first three chapters of Ephesians, that's not how God sees us at all. Pastor and author Chip Ingram wants to open your eyes to your true self, the "new you" that God sees, the person who is immeasurably valuable and beautiful. In this Scripture-soaked book, he shows you how getting God's perspective - satisfies your search for significance - undoes your shame - makes you secure - frees you from comparing yourself with others - helps you discover your calling - and more Are you ready to see yourself as God sees you? Then let Chip Ingram show you how to silence the lies of your past and experience your true identity.
With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.
The motivational speaker explores the reasons for such self-imposed limitations as age, fear, time, and money, and describes how to overcome their restrictions to achieve one's goals.