How do we begin to cope with loss that cannot be resolved? The COVID-19 pandemic has left many of us haunted by feelings of anxiety, despair, and even anger. In this book, pioneering therapist Pauline Boss identifies these vague feelings of distress as caused by ambiguous loss, losses that remain unclear and hard to pin down, and thus have no closure. Collectively the world is grieving as the pandemic continues to change our everyday lives. With a loss of trust in the world as a safe place, a loss of certainty about health care, education, employment, lingering anxieties plague many of us, even as parts of the world are opening back up again. Yet after so much loss, our search must be for a sense of meaning, and not something as elusive and impossible as "closure." This book provides many strategies for coping: encouraging us to increase our tolerance of ambiguity and acknowledging our resilience as we express a normal grief, and still look to the future with hope and possibility.
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School
Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a “practical and reassuring guide to parting well.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project Engaging and revolutionary, filled with wit, searing honesty, and intimate interviews, Splitopia is a call for a saner, more civil kind of divorce. As Paris reveals, divorce has improved dramatically in recent decades due to changes in laws and family structures, advances in psychology and child development, and a new understanding of the importance of the father. Positive psychology expert and author of Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar, writes that Paris’s “personal insights, stories, and research” create “a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce.” Reading this book can be the difference between an expensive, ugly battle and a decent divorce, between children sucked under by conflict or happy, healthy kids. This is “a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After—for everyone” (Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time).
This dissertation, "The Role of Coping Style and Need for Closure in Relapse" by Hai-yen, Huang, was obtained from The University of Hong Kong (Pokfulam, Hong Kong) and is being sold pursuant to Creative Commons: Attribution 3.0 Hong Kong License. The content of this dissertation has not been altered in any way. We have altered the formatting in order to facilitate the ease of printing and reading of the dissertation. All rights not granted by the above license are retained by the author. Abstract: DOI: 10.5353/th_b2972688 Subjects: Drug abuse - Psychological aspects Drug addicts - Rehabilitation
Coping with Lack of Control in a Social World offers an integrated view of cutting-edge research on the effects of control deprivation on social cognition. The book integrates multi-method research demonstrating how various types of control deprivation, related not only to experimental settings but also to real life situations of helplessness, can lead to variety of cognitive and emotional coping strategies at the social cognitive level. The comprehensive analyses in this book tackle issues such as: Cognitive, emotional and socio-behavioral reactions to threats to personal control How social factors aid in coping with a sense of lost or threatened control Relating uncontrollability to powerlessness and intergroup processes How lack of control experiences can influence basic and complex cognitive processes This book integrates various strands of research that have not yet been presented together in an innovative volume that addresses the issue of reactions to control loss in a socio-psychological context. Its focus on coping as an active way of confronting a sense of uncontrollability makes this a unique, and highly original, contribution to the field. Practicing psychologists and students of psychology will be particularly interested readers.
A unique book, which addresses a calamity many men face, was written by the Northwest Author, Michael Louis Eads: A Man's Feelings, Finding Closure After Divorce. Divorce, a word synonymous with failure, disappointment and heartache; any man who loved his wife and went through divorce feels the stigma and loss. The courts use these words: dissolution, irretrievable and broken. These heartless terms create turmoil to a man going through divorce. They don't even account for or describe the agony a man endures during this crisis.This is a personal account of how Michael went through these hard times, and how he came out the other end with a positive attitude, and a vigorous new life. Going through this crisis, he found his own identity and self-esteem in question. His whole life was a question mark from the day his wife first said the word, Divorce, but with a step-by-step process, and help from friends and counseling, he got through it. "I believe with the raw personal expertise of an everyday man, Michael's story is unique and uplifting. His advice is straightforward and insightful, offering hope and encouragement on the long road to find a new life for any man struggling for happiness after losing the love of his life," said his friend Bob Olson, who has known Michael since his teens. In Michael's research of divorce books, he had found that almost all deal with the legal ramifications of divorce. Few deal with the stigma, heartache and emotional turmoil that a man must face during separation and divorce. "I feel my book exposes the most basic need in all men after divorce, that is, the overwhelming desire to find some semblance of happiness, well-being, and ultimately, closure. It is my hope that after reading this book, you will realize its value and potential." --The Publisher In his book, A Man s Feelings: Finding Closure After Divorce, Michael Eads takes us on a personal journey following his own divorce. By relating his experience of coming to terms with the end of his marriage, and the stages of grief and loss that accompanied that, we also join him on his road to acceptance, letting go, and finally finding hope, happiness, and well-being in the aftermath of his divorce. All the while that Michael is telling his own tale, he is providing a road map for men (and women) who are in the midst of the confusion, hurt and pain, and emotional floundering that can come with the experience of confronting the end of a marriage while attempting to put life back in order. Michael is open and sharing about his vulnerabilities and growth, so that one can almost feel that he is sitting with you, a good friend, there to share his experience, to help you find some sense of direction in unknown and uncharted territory. I highly recommend this book to anyone embarking on their own such journey. --Susan Sterling, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist
A Presidio of San Francisco Closure Study began after the controversial Base Closure and Realignment Act of 1988 (BRAC 88) was enacted and placed the Presidio of San Francisco on the BRAC 88 Base Closure list. The required Presidio of San Francisco Closure Study, prepared by the Headquarters, Sixth US Army staff, tried to justify the continuance of the Presidio Post. This study continued for several years but eventually was ineffective bowing to political and military pressure and interference. This Case Study complements the Presidio of San Francisco Closure Study that overlaps the same time period that planned and programmed a systematic process where both management theory and assumptions could be applied to justify improvements in management competence, organizational improvements, and cost effectiveness. This Case Study contains a chronological history of events at the Presidio of San Francisco, and reviews a crisis precipitated by the Department of Defense (DOD) action under a Congressional mandate for Post and Base closures. This caused an administrative dilemma while concurrently, trying to plan the realignment of the Headquarters, Sixth US Army staff; discontinuance of the Presidio Garrison; closing the Presidio of San Francisco as a US Army military Installation; and transferring the Presidio Post operations, repair, and maintenance activities to the US National Park Service.
