Holy Crap! The World is Ending!

Holy Crap! The World is Ending!

Author: Anna-Marie Abell

Publisher: Alien Abduction Press

Published: 2017-09-21

Total Pages: 308

ISBN-13: 1947119036

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The president has announced that Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. It was as if every sports team in the world lost their championship game at the same time. No car was left unrolled—but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal. Autumn (who for the purposes of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kickass ninja skills) has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity. With the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair, Autumn takes a spaceship and races to save her fellow humans by using the Ark of the Covenant. Along the way, she discovers how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us. Stupid government. Grab a bottle of wine, a shipload of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you’re into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, crave a little sexy time in your reading, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you.


Vamped

Vamped

Author: David Sosnowski

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2004-08-04

Total Pages: 351

ISBN-13: 0743270851

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Martin Kowalski is an eighty-year-old man stuck in a twenty-year-old body. He works the graveyard shift. He has a poster of Bela Lugosi on his wall and a box of uneaten Count Chocula in his pantry. He drinks stem-cell-derived blood from cleverly packaged and marketed juice boxes. He is, in short, a vampire. But since his wildly successful scheme to turn as many mortals as possible into vampires -- "vamp" them rather than kill them -- resulted in a new immortal majority, Marty finds little of interest to fill his countless days. From the deeply imaginative mind of David Sosnowski -- who gave us the critically acclaimed junkie-angel classic Rapture -- bursts this neo-vampire novel studded with pint-size vampires known as "screamers" (children who were vamped and are none too happy about it); priest vampires who helped convert their flock into lifetime members of the Church; stripper vampires who lap-danced their way into customers' veins; and one very small, very outspoken human girl. When Marty decides to end his endless life of soul-crushing ennui -- call it vampire affluenza -- a three-foot blond obstacle is thrown in his path: Isuzu Trooper Cassidy, a refugee from a human hunting preserve. At first he thinks "midnight snack," but before the sun comes up, Isuzu is the one snacking on his prized cereal collection as she charms him into staying undead long enough to raise her in a world rife with danger and almost entirely populated by vampires yearning for the taste of real human blood. The critics applauded David Sosnowski when Rapture was published, saying he "staked out a patch of turf somewhere between Franz Kafka and Douglas Adams." Now with Vamped, Sosnowski takes on a time-honored genre and breathes new life into it by turning Martin Kowalski's vampire world upside down and telling his story with rich, masterful, and frequently hilarious prose.


Poodles For Dummies

Poodles For Dummies

Author: Susan M. Ewing

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2011-05-04

Total Pages: 302

ISBN-13: 1118068122

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The Poodle is known for her keen intelligence, excellent trainability, and, most notably, those signature curly locks. But there’s more to the Poodle than meets the eye (like, say, those expensive grooming bills). So, to Poodle or not to Poodle? That is the question. With an overview of the breed’s history, an exploration of all three varieties (Standard, Miniature, and Toy), and 8 pages of full-color photos detailing the colors available and tips and techniques for grooming, Poodles for Dummies is filled with all the meaty information and enlightening morsels you need to decide if this refined beauty is a good match for you. You’ll get answers to your most important questions, including: Which size Poodle is best for me? Which color? How do I know if a Poodle breeder is reputable? What are the pros and cons of shelters and rescue groups? What do I look for in choosing a healthy Poodle? How can I Poodle-proof my home and yard? What’s the best way to introduce my Poodle to kids and other pets? How often does my Poodle need grooming? No matter which size, color, or gender you own, Poodles are not a “wash ‘n’ wear” breed. But if you have the time, passion, and dedication to give her the training, exercise, and upkeep she needs, you and your curly companion will have a happy and rewarding life together.


The Sweet Spot

The Sweet Spot

Author: Laura Drake

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2014-08-26

Total Pages: 193

ISBN-13: 1455521949

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A Love as Big as Texas. . . Charla Rae Denny was the perfect wife with a perfect life, content to keep the home fires burning while her husband, JB, competed as a champion bull rider. Then their son died in a tragic accident-and everything fell apart. Divorced and saddled with a hill of bills and a failing ranch, Charla must now cowboy up to put her life back together. James "JB" Denny doesn't stay where he isn't welcome. So when Charla shut him out of her grieving heart-and their home-a year ago, he took comfort where he could find it. Now after seeing beautiful Charla again, he wants it all back. She can't work the ranch alone, and deep in his heart he knows he can be the man she needs. But after so much history and heartbreak, can JB convince Charla to take a risk and give their love a second chance?


You Made Me

You Made Me

Author: Eric Custard

Publisher: AuthorHouse

Published: 2004-07-20

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1468514237

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Have you ever said the wrong thing at the wrong time? Shaun has. Now his ex-wife, Lashelle, is missing and his best friend, Headache, is in a coma. Everything over the past seventy-two hours has traversed from a sanity state to full-blown chaos, and Shaun is at the root of it all. In his straightforward way, he composes a letter to Lashelle, explaining the sacrifices he had made during their marriage, including forsaking his illegitimate son. He closes his letter with hopes that Lashelle will one day get the opportunity to read it. Three days have passed and Lashelle is still missing. Shaun is frantic. She calls Yolanda, Kevyn’s wife in an attempt to let someone know of her whereabouts while maintaining her secret from Shaun. After revealing the details of her argument with Shaun, she learns that Yolanda is having an affair with Kevyn’s best friend, Headache; a man correctly nicknamed. Headache and Yolanda indulge in a “secret rendezvous” but are interrupted by a phone call from Tameika, Headache’s wife. Guilt-ridden, Yolanda gestures for Headache to stop, but he continues, erupting with an orgasmic residue as the condom broke. Yolanda visits Shaun at the hospital, where he works, wanting to speak in private about what has happened, but not before a furious Lashelle reappears and catches them in a compromising situation. Caught up in the moment, Shaun forgets about Lashelle’s disappearance, as he searches for an explanation for being behind a closed door with his friend’s wife. Yolanda reveals that she was raped by Headache and that she wants to press charges. Headache has been gone for the majority of the day and has missed yet another opportunity to spend quality time with his wife Tameika and their son, Keshawn. Just as he returns home, he is summoned for a meeting with Shaun to discuss Yolanda’s plan. Tameika, attempting to stress the importance of spending time with his family, becomes infuriated when Headache indicates that he is about to leave again. She asks for a divorce. Headache doesn’t come home; Tameika assumes he is off on one of his usual excursions. However, she receives a visit from the Sheriff’s department. Headache is in critical condition, a victim of a vehicular rollover. Emotionally torn, Tameika struggles with having to be supportive to a husband that she no longer loves. She calls upon his closest friends and family for support that she can no longer provide. While at the hospital, Tameika learns from Headache that he has had an affair with her best friend, Yolanda. A fight ensues and friends choose sides, severing the close network that once existed. The story ends with a twist as Shaun receives a letter from his illegitimate son. Bitter, his son dismisses the thought of a happy reunion between he and his father, exclaiming that Shaun need not be angered by his decision to not deal with him. He blames Shaun for making him the way that he is and vows not to be like his father, therefore repeating the vicious cycle that Shaun tried so hard to break.


Stan Lee's The Devil's Quintet: The Shadow Society

Stan Lee's The Devil's Quintet: The Shadow Society

Author: Jay Bonansinga

Publisher: Tor Books

Published: 2023-05-09

Total Pages: 254

ISBN-13: 1250776864

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Born of the legendary imagination that brought us Spider-Man, The Avengers, The X-Men, and an enduring universe of marvelous heroes and villains, Stan Lee's The Devil’s Quintet return to take on a fiendish new adversary: The Shadow Society. Ever since The Armageddon Code, the Devil’s Quintet have been using their demonic powers to fight evil and protect the world, while remaining nothing but an urban legend to the general public. But the Devil is not about to let them keep using his powers for good. Created by Satan himself to counter the Quintet, the Shadow Society are five saintly men and women that have been secretly (and strategically) possessed by five of Hell’s most powerful demons. Granted supernatural powers of their own, they are part of a literally diabolical plot to strike at the very heart of the Quintet—and destroy humanity’s last hope! At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.


CSO

CSO

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 2003-12

Total Pages: 80

ISBN-13:

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The business to business trade publication for information and physical Security professionals.


For Her Son's Love

For Her Son's Love

Author: Kathryn Springer

Publisher: Steeple Hill

Published: 2010-12-27

Total Pages: 236

ISBN-13: 1426886004

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To: Rachel From: Andrew Re: I've met the most fascinating single mom... Everyone thinks I'm this high-living playboy.... I wish I could reveal my real mission in life: rescuing missing children. Though right now, helping Miranda Jones is my top priority. She came to Chestnut Grove with her little boy, but a brewing scandal is threatening their little family. So, cousin and mother-to-be, as I'm running the charitable Noble Foundation in your temporary absence, I'll also be digging up secrets of the past. And while I'm at it, I hope Miranda will say yes to a future together!


Rogue

Rogue

Author: Adair Hart

Publisher: Quantum Edge Publishing

Published: 2019-09-04

Total Pages: 332

ISBN-13: 8834180259

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Underestimate Earthborn at your own peril. The Exceltion crew has been tasked with finding Bothan, a presidential guard commander, and his crew. The problem is that Blake Brown is missing. To make matters worse, the Saskarin-controlled Shulon fleet has abandoned their empire to protect the remote Jeezarus system. Not only does the Exceltion crew need to find out what’s going on there, but they also need to find Blake. The crew will have to adapt to new roles to locate Bothan and Blake while dealing with the Saskarins. One thing is for sure: never underestimate Earthborn.


Come As You Are

Come As You Are

Author: Jennifer Haupt

Publisher: Central Avenue Publishing

Published: 2022-03-01

Total Pages: 319

ISBN-13: 1771682264

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Can we alter our dreams and stories from the past to create a better future for our children? Zane and Skye are two misfit teens drawn together by their love of music and their loneliness, both part of Seattle’s grunge scene in the early ’90s. They dream of moving to LA together, Zane’s music career following the trajectory of Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder, and Skye drawing Picasso-esque portraits on the Venice Beach boardwalk. When a tragedy violently catapults them from best friends to lovers, their bond is forever strengthened and their relationship destroyed. Ten years later, they must come together as parents, putting aside abandoned dreams and broken promises. The question is, can they face the truth of who they are and become the parents their daughter needs them to be?