This bestselling book, now in a revised edition, radically challenges the prevailing medical definition of co-dependency as a permanent, progressive, and incurable addiction. Rather, the authors identify it as the result of developmental traumas that interfered with the infant-parent bonding relationship during the first year of life. Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Barry and Janae Weinhold correlate the developmental causes of co-dependency with relationship problems later in life, such as establishing and maintaining boundaries, clinging and dependent behaviors, people pleasing, and difficulty achieving success in the world. Then they focus on healing co-dependency, providing compelling case histories and practical activities to help readers heal early trauma and transform themselves and their primary relationships.
In a crisis, it's easy to revert to old patterns. Caring for your well-being during the coronavirus pandemic includes maintaining healthy boundaries and saying no to unhealthy relationships. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
Dances with Dependency offers effective strategies to eliminate welfare dependency and help eradicate poverty among indigenous populations. Beginning with an impassioned and insightful portrait of today’s native communities, it connects the prevailing impoverishment and despair directly to a “dependency mindset” forged by welfare economics. To reframe this debilitating mindset, it advocates policy reform in conjunction with a return to native peoples’ ten-thousand-year tradition of self-reliance based on personal responsibility and cultural awareness. Author Calvin Helin, un-tethered to agendas of political correctness or partisan politics, describes the mounting crisis as an impending demographic tsunami threatening both the United States and Canada. In the United States, where government entitlement programs for diverse ethnic minorities coexist with an already huge national debt, he shows how prosperity is obviously at stake. This looming demographic tidal wave viewed constructively, however, can become an opportunity for reform—among not only indigenous peoples of North America but any impoverished population struggling with dependency in inner cities, developing nations, and post-totalitarian countries.
Break free of codependency and embrace your true self! Are you codependent? Do you make other people's problems your own? Do you find it hard to set boundaries and take care of your own needs? In this reassuring guide, Dr. Jennifer Sowle helps you learn how to identify your own destructive behavior, regain self-esteem, and set healthy boundaries in all types of relationships. Inside, you'll learn how to move beyond codependency by: Discovering patterns in yourself and others. Developing noncodependent language and communication skills. Learning to journal and practice new skills at home. Engaging your partner in change. Breaking the spell of codependency and discovering the real you. With The Everything Guide to Codependency, you can break the cycle of codependency and enabling. Dr. Sowle offers expert advice and practical techniques to help transform codependent relationships into healthy, fulfilling ones.
The New Codependency is an owner’s manual to learning to be who you are and gives you the tools necessary to reclaim your life by renouncing unhealthy practices. In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness. The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It’s about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated. Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior—caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc.—enabling us to personalize our own step-by-step guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.
A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
Expanding the Weinhold's developmental approach to recovery from relationship addictions, this book uncovers the hidden flip side to co-dependency as the primary force that blocks intimacy in relationships.
Do you know someone who... Has trouble being close to others? Has a strong need to be right — all the time? Acts self-centered and egotistical? Never asks for help? Has to look good all the time? Works long hours but never finishes? Expects perfection in self and others? Seldom appears vulnerable or weak? Has difficulty relaxing? If so, this person may suffer from counter-dependency, the little-known flip side of co-dependency. The Flight from Intimacy, by psychologists Janae and Barry Weinhold, reveals counter-dependency as the major barrier to creating intimate relationships. People with counter-dependent behaviors appear strong, secure, and successful on the outside, while on the inside they feel weak, fearful, insecure, and needy. They function well in the world of business but often struggle in intimate relationships. Being in a relationship with this kind of person can be extremely frustrating. The Flight from Intimacy shows readers how to recognize and cope with counter-dependent people. And if you recognize yourself in the description above, this book will help you learn how to change. It teaches readers how to use committed relationships to heal childhood wounds and provides proven ways to use conflicts as opportunities for creating intimate, partnership relationships.
2012 gold medal winner in the self-help category of the prestigious Ippy Awards This book offers effective strategies to help erase poverty. It advocates self-reliance, policy reform, and cultural awareness. Accountability is required from all: the middle class, the trust fund babies, and the underprivileged who see themselves as perpetual victims and have fallen into the entitlement trap. True blue prints are offered to rescue people from an economical slump and help them improve their lives, and re-obtain a sense of self-worth.
