Battle of the Beast
Author: Jack Meggitt-Phillips
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2023-01-17
Total Pages: 272
ISBN-13: 1665903821
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"Originally published in Great Britain in 2022 by Farshore"--Copyright page.
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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2010-04-01
Total Pages: 139
ISBN-13: 0446563536
DOWNLOAD EBOOKIn these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
Revenge of the Beast
Author: Jack Meggitt-Phillips
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2022-12-13
Total Pages: 288
ISBN-13: 1534478930
DOWNLOAD EBOOKLemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this “wickedly funny” (Kirkus Reviews), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated sequel to The Beast and the Bethany in which Bethany and Ebenezer try to turn over a new leaf, only to have someone—or something—thwart them at every turn. Once upon a very badly behaved time, 511-year-old Ebenezer kept a beast in his attic. He would feed the beast all manner of objects and creatures and in return the beast would vomit him up expensive presents. But then the Bethany arrived. Now notorious prankster Bethany, along with her new feathery friend Claudette, is determined that she and Ebenezer are going to de-beast their lives and Do Good. But Bethany finds that being a former prankster makes it hard to get taken on for voluntary work. And Ebenezer secretly misses the beast’s vomity gifts. And neither of them is all that sure what “good people” do anyway. Then there’s Claudette, who’s not been feeling herself recently. Has she eaten something that has disagreed with her?
The Beast and the Bethany
Author: Jack Meggitt-Phillips
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2020-12-08
Total Pages: 256
ISBN-13: 1534478914
DOWNLOAD EBOOKLemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this “wickedly funny” (James Ponti, New York Times bestselling author), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn’t know she’s about to be eaten. Beauty comes at a price. And no one knows that better than Ebenezer Tweezer, who has stayed beautiful for 511 years. How, you may wonder? Ebenezer simply has to feed the beast in the attic of his mansion. In return for meals of performing monkeys, statues of Winston Churchill, and the occasional cactus, Ebenezer gets potions that keep him young and beautiful, as well as other presents. But the beast grows ever greedier with each meal, and one day he announces that he’d like to eat a nice, juicy child next. Ebenezer has never done anything quite this terrible to hold onto his wonderful life. Still, he finds the absolutely snottiest, naughtiest, and most frankly unpleasant child he can and prepares to feed her to the beast. The child, Bethany, may just be more than Ebenezer bargained for. She’s certainly a really rather rude houseguest, but Ebenezer still finds himself wishing she didn’t have to be gobbled up after all. Could it be Bethany is less meal-worthy and more…friend-worthy?
Velda the Awesomest Viking and the Ginormous Frost Giants
Author: David MacPhail
Publisher: Floris Books
Published: 2022-03-24
Total Pages: 122
ISBN-13: 1782507957
DOWNLOAD EBOOKOi, you snivelling pig-dogs! Are you ready for a Viking adventure? Velda is a small girl with a big axe, and she knows how to use it. Alongside her misfit crew, she's living her best Viking life, sailing the seas in her very own longship and teaching anyone who thinks she's 'just a little girl' a lesson. But when a raid on the vault of the treasure-obsessed Count Stollenberg goes wrong, Velda is forced into a deal to bring him the legendary Frost Hammer. The only teensy tiny issue is that it belongs to the Frost Giants, who are anything but teensy tiny. Velda and her crew must trek across snow and ice to break into the giants' mountain home, but it seems the Frost Giants are happier to see them than they expected. A bit too happy, in fact... Join Velda on her mission as she schemes her way out of scrapes and battles enormous enemies, all while proving she's the awesomest Viking around.
Betty & Veronica Double Digest #295
Author: Archie Superstars
Publisher: Archie Comic Publications
Published: 2021-07-14
Total Pages: 187
ISBN-13: 1645765091
DOWNLOAD EBOOKBRAND NEW STORY: “Water Songs” Riverdale is hosting their very own Mermaid Day and Betty & Veronica have landed roles as female pirates! Everyone is impressed with their impromptu sea shanty sing-a-longs, much to the ire of fellow performer Cheryl Blossom! But a siren-like voice comes from out of nowhere, and threatens to blow them all out of the water!
Letters to the Human Race... from the cat
Author: Vicky Halls
Publisher: Cassell
Published: 2024-11-07
Total Pages: 141
ISBN-13: 1788405552
DOWNLOAD EBOOKDear Human Race, It is with much regret, and a huge sigh of frustration, that I am writing this letter. For generations you have been taking our goodwill for granted but it behoves me, as a representative for my species, to say 'enough is enough'. You are unpredictable and inconsistent, often behaving in a way that is illogical to us and frankly unhygienic (all that touching!). I believe the modern phrase is 'You just don't get me!' Well, no more. My fellow felines and I have put pen to paper and paw to keyboard to write a series of letters that I believe will put you on the path to understanding where you've gone wrong. We feel we have covered most of your most common errors - from the food you give us (both the lack of quality and quantity) and your insistence on having other cats (and even dogs) in the house, to your bizarre toilet habits and our obsession with your socks. Consider this your performance review from cats... and you don't come out well. Yours sincerely, Sidney Fishbone, Esq.
Whoopsie Poopsie
Author: Jordan Cera
Publisher:
Published: 2020-07-17
Total Pages: 42
ISBN-13:
DOWNLOAD EBOOKA cute and whimsical take on how Mother Earth came to be. This story provokes creative thought and teaches children that mistakes are not something to be ashamed of, but rather celebrated! You'll want to read this over and over again, with its fun flow and adorable theme.
Comedy Can Be Deadly
Author: Ryan Rivers
Publisher: Partners in Crime Press
Published: 2024-10-02
Total Pages: 296
ISBN-13: 1956244050
DOWNLOAD EBOOKWhen the curtain falls, the body count rises Murder takes center stage in this witty and whimsical cozy mystery set in the heart of small-town Texas. When former nurse Sho Tanaka reluctantly takes on the role of Lysander in a community theater production of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, he expects his biggest challenge to be remembering his lines. But when an actor takes a deadly tumble from the rafters, Sho finds himself tangled in a web of secrets, lies, and murder most foul. With his best friend and the town mayor, Levi Blue, at his side, Sho must navigate a cast of quirky suspects, each with motives murkier than the Guadalupe River. From the high-strung director with a flair for drama to the method actor who takes his roles a little too seriously, everyone's got something to hide. With the killer still on the loose and the show's opening night fast approaching, Sho and Levi find he finds themselves tangled in a web of secrets, lies, and murder most foul. With its clever Shakespearean touches, charming setting, and endearing amateur sleuths, Comedy Can Be Deadly offers a fresh and entertaining twist on the cozy mystery genre. Ryan Rivers artfully blends humor, heart, and homicide in this delightful page-turner that will keep you guessing until the final act. Perfect for fans of Shakespeare, small-town mysteries, and quirky characters, this novel proves that even in the quaintest of communities, comedy can quickly turn to tragedy. Will Sho and Levi unmask the killer before the curtain falls, or will they find themselves upstaged in a deadly denouement? Places, please! Grab your copy of Comedy Can Be Deadly and get ready for a mystery that's sure to bring down the house!
Din Din Book of No-Nonsense Poetry # 2
Author: Diane Sytarchuk-Kent
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Published: 2022-09-16
Total Pages: 752
ISBN-13: 1669836835
DOWNLOAD EBOOKThis book is meant to be a pleasure for all to read. It is meant to be a help for both people with cognitive difficulties and their caregivers. There may be useful ideas to caregivers. The people with impairments will finally have something they can readily understand (the pictures or social stories). The poetry may or may not make sense. The ideas are brought forth in a way as to give understanding to the social aspect behind the words. The author is trying to give back to the world for all the help she has received in this area.
