Welcome to Wales, Keiko

Welcome to Wales, Keiko

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher:

Published: 2020-07-31

Total Pages: 66

ISBN-13: 9781393095675

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Keiko's pretty much the perfect ESL student. So polite, so respectful, so willing to learn. No wonder teacher wants to do the dirtiest things to her... Length: 15,000 words. Dave Franklin has also written eight novels and five collections of stories.


Welcome to Wales, Keiko

Welcome to Wales, Keiko

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published: 2017-04-21

Total Pages: 38

ISBN-13:

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Keiko's pretty much the perfect ESL student. So polite, so respectful, so willing to learn. No wonder teacher wants to do such dirty things to her...


Rooney Eats It! A Brit's Take on Pimps, Child Deaths and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Rooney Eats It! A Brit's Take on Pimps, Child Deaths and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published: 2023-01-27

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13:

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Chick flicks. Brokeback Mountain. Bollywood. Superhero movies. Sophie’s Choice. Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock. Avant-garde musicals... If this sort of stuff is your cup of tea, then this isn’t the book for you. Blokey film enthusiast Dave Franklin instead concentrates on the politically incorrect delights of Coffy, Magnum Force and Boogie Nights while paying tribute to the likes of Christopher Walken, Paul Schrader, 70’s disaster movies and Brian De Palma. There’s even some tongue-in-cheek appreciation of the God-like Steven Seagal. So settle back, forget about identity politics and the prevailing lefty narrative, and immerse yourself in a book that values celluloid entertainment above all else. Or as Rob Reiner says at the start of the immortal Spinal Tap: “Enough of my yakking. Let’s boogie.”


Oh, My God! Ninja! A Brit's Take on Arnie, Icky Sex and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Oh, My God! Ninja! A Brit's Take on Arnie, Icky Sex and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published: 2023-07-28

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13:

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I have of late, wherefore I know not, lost all of my mirth… Man delights not me; no, nor women neither. In my dreams (and increasingly during my more whimsical waking moments) I wander through Movieland. Sometimes I chat to Kelly McGillis about being in a 4G inverted dive with a MiG-28 while a strung-out Withnail stands close by complaining about going on holiday by mistake. At others a xenomorph near the bus stop rips off Forrest Gump’s head before being machine-gunned by the ED-209. I close my eyes, take a contented breath, and reopen them to see Frau Blücher upsetting the horses again as Tony Montana snorts coke and tells the permanently agitated Don Logan that this town is like one giant pussy waiting to get fucked. I wander and I wander and I never want to leave… Some movies, you see, contain magic. Magic that seeps into your soul and becomes a part of you. I mean, why waste your time travelling the world, having a career, nurturing dreams or taking a woman seriously? Such pursuits involve a great deal of effort and invariably end in disappointment. Surely it’s better to stay invisible at home while exploring a rich cinematic odyssey alongside the likes of Marty McFly, Jessica 6, the Black Knight, Bill Kilgore and a Stepford wife or two? Come now. Partake in the madness. Let me hold your hand and lead you nowhere.


Bunch of Snake Freaks! A Brit's Take on Dead Pets, Sleazeballs and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Bunch of Snake Freaks! A Brit's Take on Dead Pets, Sleazeballs and Other Fun Movie Stuff

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published: 2024-01-22

Total Pages: 276

ISBN-13:

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“You like movies because you’re one of life’s great watchers.” So says Woody Allen’s irked, soon-to-be-ex-wife in Play It Again, Sam, obviously having had enough of his sedentary lifestyle. Hmm, I think she would have left me, too. But, hey, do a female’s myriad charms really stack up against the corny delights of Cocktail, the vicious cynicism of The Sweet Smell of Success, the dark ferocity of The Thing, the fantastic imagination of Westworld, the perverted milieu of Happiness or the heartbreak of Kes? For these are just some of the films covered in the fifth part of this lewd, politically incorrect guide to the treasures of twentieth century cinema. Author Dave Franklin also throws in a bevy of bitches, the worst-ever holidays and a tribute to old men feasting on teenage flesh.


Welcome to Wales, Girls

Welcome to Wales, Girls

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published:

Total Pages: 158

ISBN-13:

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Ryan teaches English to foreigners at a small school in Cardiff. He's not perfect but tries his best for his students. Nora, the boss' daughter, is his icily distant, ball-busting superior. Apart, they are nothing, two completely unremarkable and harmless individuals. But together... Welcome to Wales, Girls - Come study at the ESL school from hell.


Welcome to Wales, Kylie

Welcome to Wales, Kylie

Author: Dave Franklin

Publisher: Baby Ice Dog Press

Published:

Total Pages: 71

ISBN-13:

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Teachers Ryan and Nora welcome a new colleague to their school. Dave Franklin has written ten novels.


Going to Bend

Going to Bend

Author: Diane Hammond

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Published: 2004-01-20

Total Pages: 338

ISBN-13: 0385512546

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In the small coastal town of Hubbard, Oregon, your man may let you down, your boss may let you down, life may let you down . . . but your best friend never will. Welcome to Hubbard, where Petie Coolbaugh and Rose Bundy have been best friends since childhood. Now in their early thirties, both are grappling to come to terms with their age and station in life. As they struggle to make ends meet and provide for their children and the good-hearted but unreliable men in their lives, they take jobs cooking for a brand-new upscale restaurant, Souperior's Cafe, starting from scratch every morning to produce gallons of fresh soup from local recipes. The proprietors of the cafe, Nadine and Gordon, are fraternal twins from Los Angeles with adjustments of their own to make, but Rose’s warmth and the quality of the women’s soups quickly make them indispensable despite Petie’s abrupt manner and prickly ways. The strains of daily life are never far, however, and the past takes its toll on the women. Petie’s childhood as the daughter of the town drunk—a subject she won't talk about—keeps her at a distance from even her best friend, until an unexpected romance threatens to crack her tough exterior. And despite Rose's loving personality, the only man in her life is a loner fisherman who spends only a few months of the year in town. In this fishing village, friends are for life and love comes in the most unexpected ways. As the novel draws together lovers, husbands, employers, friends, and family, each woman finds possibilities for love and even grace that she had never imagined.


The Perfume Companion

The Perfume Companion

Author: Sarah McCartney

Publisher: Frances Lincoln

Published: 2021-10-05

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 0711242194

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'An authoritative guide from two experts who really know their way around scent' – FUNMI FETTO The Perfume Companion is a beautifully illustrated compendium of almost 500 recommended scents, designed to help you pick out your next favourite fragrance. Perfumes have the power to evoke treasured memories, make us feel fabulous and help us express our best self. But with so many out there, how do you choose something new? When the scents in the perfume shop are merging into one aromatic haze, how do you remain focused? And if your favourite scent goes out of stock, how do you replace it? The Perfume Companion is here to help. Sarah McCartney and Samantha Scriven deliver a host of scents for you to try – including bargain finds and luxury treasures, iconic stalwarts and indie newcomers, the lightest florals and the deepest leathers. With insider information about how perfumes are really made, discover hundreds of new fragrances and find the scents to share your own memories with. This is the perfect companion for your scented adventures.