Growing Old Disgracefully

Growing Old Disgracefully

Author: Rohan Candappa

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2010-09-30

Total Pages: 194

ISBN-13: 1407079476

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Does your mother think it's really charming to talk to every rose bush on the street? Has your father taken up obsessive fundraising for a donkey sanctuary on retirement? Does he collect elastic bands because 'you never know when you'll need one'? Do your parents make jokes about sheltered housing? Have they guessed that you've already sent off for the brochures? Do they seem to be having too much fun for a couple with two fake hips, a pacemaker and three steel pins between them? Then you need Rohan Candappa. The man who bought you The Little Book of Stress, The Little Book of Wrong Shui and The Autobiography of a One Year Old has hit the nail on the head once more. Full of wit and wisdom, Rohan will give you a much needed laugh in the face of your parents' increasingly barmy behaviour. Just one thing, you'll probably find your parents have bought it too. And they'll probably think its really funny.


Aging Disgracefully

Aging Disgracefully

Author: Danny Cahill

Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group

Published: 2017-05-02

Total Pages: 308

ISBN-13: 1626343993

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Does it count as a midlife crisis if you screw up your life and you happen to be entering middle age, or did you screw up your life because you are entering middle age? ​And does it matter if you take the kind of life most people envy—wealth and success and recognition—and blow it up, hurting everyone you love along the way? Who does that?! Danny Cahill had made it, by any measure: He was a recruiting industry icon with a brilliant, lucrative career, hugely in demand as a motivational speaker, and a noted playwright and writer. But once a serious gym injury began to unravel his childhood deprivations, his mother’s shame-based modus operandi, and the choices he made in search of love, he realized he had thrown it all away in spectacular fashion. In Aging Disgracefully, Cahill takes on the emotionally tricky territory of memoir and charges into deep water to tell a frequently humorous and wonderfully dark tale that spares no one in his life, least of all himself. Painfully authentic and unapologetic, Cahill’s account reveals that no matter how the world rewards you for being at the top of your game, an unresolved past can follow you, shape your choices, and lead to comic and tragic results when lines are crossed. Cahill’s story is ultimately about climbing out of messes, saving ourselves from ourselves, finding exactly what we’ve been looking for, and realizing that it was there all along.


Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Author: Steven Petrow

Publisher: Citadel

Published: 2021-06-29

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 0806541008

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For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews


How to Grow Old Disgracefully

How to Grow Old Disgracefully

Author: Hermione Gingold

Publisher:

Published: 1988

Total Pages: 220

ISBN-13: 9780749302412

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Gingold recalls her eventful life from her first appearance on the stage, at the age of eight. She tells of her marriages to Michael Joseph, to Eric Maschwitz, her exploits on the London cabaret scene, and her relationships with Noel Coward, Maurice Chevalier and Hermione Baddeley.


Punk, Gender and Ageing

Punk, Gender and Ageing

Author: Laura Way

Publisher: Emerald Group Publishing

Published: 2020-09-14

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13: 1839825707

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Using in-depth interviews with punk women growing old disgracefully, Way explores how women construct punk identities. Reflecting on punk ‘then’ and ‘now’, they reveal the constraints punk women experience on their identities growing older, the complex relationship between appearance and dress, and the impact of social expectations around aging.


Ageing Disgracefully

Ageing Disgracefully

Author: Colin Cotterill

Publisher:

Published: 2021-01-14

Total Pages: 276

ISBN-13:

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NEW SECOND EDITION 16 Colin Cotterill illustrated short stories first published in 2009 INCLUDES THE DR. SIRI STORY, HAS ANYONE SEEN MRS. LIGHTSWITCH? This delightful collection of short stories takes a humorous look at the lives of people who have passed the age of sixty and are still behaving very, very naughtily. The collection takes us from England to Asia with stops in Australia and the United States and it proves the point that disgusting old people are to be found just about everywhere. We enter the troubled minds of murderers, bank robbers, practical jokers, serial killers, perverts and just regular old liars all of whom are old enough to know better. You'll doubtless recognize people you know and be forced to admit to a few wiles of your own. The stories are: Gran Larceny A Night on the Tiles Jack Wong Has a Rare Moment of Lucidity Tart The One Legged Marathon Runner of 12B Wildebeest Crescent The Inside Job Has Anyone Seen Mrs. Lightswitch? Fanta Man Playing Grand Theft Auto III With Death It's a Dog's Life (In Four Short Acts) Ode to a Siam Square Pizza Life as a Torreja Collecting Old Footprints A Slightly Embellished True Story from the Gulf of Siam Coconuts Forked With a keen a keen eye for human foibles and a wicked sense of humor, Colin has collected and illustrated the colorful lives of elders found along his journey from his English home to his new home in Thailand with stops in Australia, the US and Laos along the way.


Growing Old Disgracefully

Growing Old Disgracefully

Author: Rohan Candappa

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2004-09

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13: 9780740741685

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Where's the fun in growing old gracefully? Humorist Rohan Candappa believes it's "far better to put your name down for a course of bad behavior, irresponsibility, and questionable fashion choices. And anything that winds your kids up must be worth having a crack at." Embarrassing and exasperating your kids doesn't have to stop when they become adults and move out of the house. Rohan points out that "If life begins at forty, then a sixty-year-old is not yet twenty-one. And think how much mayhem still lay ahead of you at that age. Act accordingly."Growing Old Disgracefully offers hundreds of pointers for making your sunset years seem like the dawn of your existence. Here are just a few: * Advice on dressing well: Lycra is always a good bet. Fluorescent Lycra, ideally. * Looking younger: Forget dieting, exercise, and plastic surgery. Instead, tell people you're fifteen years older than you are. * Confusing young 'uns: On a crowded bus or train, offer your seat to someone obviously much younger than you. * The best anti-aging cream: Ice cream! What other food makes you feel like you're eight years old again? * Making grandchildren your allies: Buy them presents that their parents have (sensibly) refused to buy them.Growing Old Disgracefully serves up plenty of irreverent fun for everyone (except your children).


Aging Backwards

Aging Backwards

Author: Miranda Esmonde-White

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2014-11-11

Total Pages: 310

ISBN-13: 0062313355

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The PBS fitness personality on Classical Stretch and creator of the fitness phenomenon Essentrics offers an eye-opening guide to anti-aging. Miranda Esmonde-White trains everyone from prima ballerinas to professional hockey players to Cerebral palsy patients: what do they all have in common? All of these people are hoping to heal their bodies, prevent further injury, and move optimally and without pain. In fact, they have the same goals as any of us who are trying to stay young, fit, and reverse the hands of time. Because the aging of our bodies occurs in our cells, it must be repaired there too—that’s where Miranda’s highly effective and sought-after techniques come in. The body is programmed to self-destruct as we age, but the speed at which it self-destructs is up to us. Recent scientific studies have proven this fact! In Aging Backwards, Miranda offers a groundbreaking guide on how to maintain and repair our cells, through scientifically designed workouts. Healthy cells prevent joint pain, muscle loss and weak bones—helping to control weight, increase energy, and improve strength and mobility. Miranda offers readers of all ages the tools they need to look and feel young. Complete with tips, tools, and her Eight Basic Age-Reversing Workouts accompanied by instructional photos and web clips, Aging Backwards will help you grow younger, not older! “If you’ve been meaning to start a fitness program but are put off by vigorous gym or yoga sessions, or if you’re hindered by joint or muscle pain, pick up this book.” —Zoomer


Stumbling in Flats

Stumbling in Flats

Author: Barbara A. Stensland

Publisher: Justifiedtext.CompanyUK

Published: 2015

Total Pages: 403

ISBN-13: 9780992608866

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With a foreword by Janis H. Winehouse. If Bridget Jones had MS, this would be her diary - The MS Society. The value of the Stumbling in Flats blog ... it opens so many avenues of support and understanding, not only to the sufferer, but to the family, the friends ... so that they will understand what it's like to walk through treacle - Janis H. Winehouse. Social media is an increasingly important way for people affected by MS to get support, information and inspiration. Barbara's writing offers all of this plus a winning sense of humour - a vital ingredient in living well with MS. - The MS Trust From running in heels to stumbling in flats - one day in 2011, Barbara woke up unable to speak properly, walk in a straight line or stay awake for longer than a few hours. She didn't know it then, but that day was to change her life forever. In 2012, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). She began blogging at www.stumblinginflats.com to show the day-to-day reality of living with MS, a teenager and a cat, in amongst coping with a rapidly-disappearing career, late-night pity-parties-for-one, discrimination in the workplace and adjusting to a whole new life with MS. She's unflinchingly honest in her portrayal and exploration of this strange new world, where the McDonald criteria are no longer a way of judging French Fries but a tick-list for an MS diagnosis. Alongside scans, blood tests, a lumbar puncture and medication, she battles with The Teenager (school uniform angst, an undying devotion to pizza) and life in general (facing 40, a non-existent fitness regime, chocolate). After two years of blogging she has now collated a large selection into a book. She's also corrected her appalling spelling and grammar mistakes along the way. In coming to terms with her diagnosis, she discovers she's actually pretty strong and can definitely see the funny side to a serious illness. You've read the misery-memoirs, now read the book that will leave you with a smile on your face.