Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.
Breezy yet brainy, Empathy Lessons provides 30 compelling and actionable lessons in restoring and expanding empathy in relationships and emotional well-being, at home and at work, in parenting and in business, at school and in the private consulting room, in the corporate jungle and in the empathy desert, in the public market and in the intimacy of the bedroom. Empathy is oxygen for the soul. So if you are short of breath due to life stress, get the expanded empathy delivered in this book. Just as the body needs oxygen to live physically, the soul needs empathy to live emotionally. Most people are naturally empathic, but the cynicism and denial needed to survive everyday life drives empathy away. Remove the obstacles to empathy and empathy naturally develops and grows. That is the training in a nutshell without all the details, guidance, and practice needed to succeed. Find out how to take your empathy to the next level in this book. The empathy lessons in this book include how- To perform a readiness assessment; establish a set up for success in cleaning up inauthenticities that block empathy so that empathy can expand and flourish; Empathy is not an "on-off" switch but a tuner (dial or dimmer) that expands or contracts in accessing the vicarious experience of the other person; Empathy works as a method of data gathering about the other person, providing a vicarious experience of the other person without being flooded by the experience; Introspection, vicarious experience, listening to one's own "voice over" and radical acceptance are the royal road to empathic receptivity; Empathic receptivity overcomes emotional contagion, creating a set up for clear communication of feelings and experiences; Empathic understanding overcomes conformity and enables shifting out of stuckness into contribution, transformation, and leadership, including satisfying and flourishing relationships; Empathic interpretation overcomes projection and is the folk definition of empathy, walking in another's shoes, adding "top down" empathy to "bottom up," empathic receptivity; Empathic responsiveness drives out anger and rage, acting as a soothing balm to suffering and emotional upset, deescalating conflict and aggression; Scientific, peer-reviewed, evidence-based research confirms that empathy reduces inflammation and stress; Relationships get "weaponized" in bullying and, coming from empathy, how to overcome bullying, reestablishing boundaries: recommendations to students, teachers, administrators on how to stop bullying (including cyber-bullying) and promote empathy; Disorders of empathy such as Asperger's and autism and (in a different context) the psychopathic person, the "Natural Empath" (caught between nature and nurture), and (fully buzzword compliant) mirror neurons, are related to empathy; "Corporate empathy" is not a contradiction in terms, "CEO" now means "chief empathy officer," and empathy is now the ultimate "capitalist tool"; Empathy is the "secret sauce" in sexual satisfaction within an authentic relationship, featuring the desire of desire, the "good parts," and intimate engagements that are sustainable. Empathy Lessons put you back in touch with your empathy. Empathy lessons-not merely the title of the book, the actual practices-provide applications to tough cases. The applications give back to you your power in overcoming life's social stresses and the power to expand well-being in the face of emotional upset, handling difficult relationships, meeting business challenges in the corporate jungle and empathy desert, overcoming bullies and bullying, and applying and practicing empathy in sex and romance. Not a conventional self-help book, but a writerly, intermittently humorous, romp through empathic fields, you get 30 actionable recommendations. Feeling like you are thrown "under the bus" again and it's getting crowded under there? Get the empathy you need to fight back and flourish in this book.
Kathy Ewing knows what it's like to be raised by someone variously sullen, pleasant, angry, demanding, manipulative, engaging, and all the rest-sometimes changing from one mood to the next in a single conversation. In this personal memoir she writes of her memories from my childhood, in rough chronology, showing her mother's troubling behavior -the behavior that mystified her until she found a name for it, until she could put it in the context of Borderline Personality Disorder. The memoir shows how the diagnosis, the wrestling with her history, and the very writing of it have provided some comfort, if not healing.
The revised and expanded third edition of the bestselling guide to understanding borderline personality disorder—with advice for communicating with and helping the borderline individuals in your life. After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders. Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD. This expanded and revised edition is an invaluable resource for those diagnosed with BPD and their family, friends, and colleagues, as well as professionals and students in the field, and the practical tools and advice are easy to understand and use in your day-to-day interactions with the borderline individuals in your life.
Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.
With astonishing honesty, this memoir reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones. With astonishing honesty, this memoir, Get Me Out of Here, reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones. A mother, wife, and working professional, Reiland was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the age of 29--a diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. A truly riveting read with a hopeful message. Excerpt: "My hidden secrets were not well-concealed. The psychological profile had been right as had the books on BPD. I was manipulative, desperately clinging and prone to tantrums, explosiveness, and frantic acts of desperation when I did not feel the intimacy connection was strong enough. The tough chick loner act of self-reliance was a complete facade."
Have you been deeply hurt by your mother? Did the woman, who should have loved you, nourished you and protected you inflict traumas that still affect your life today? Are you struggling every day to repair the damage that she caused? If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood would more than likely have been an unstable and painful experience. Children raised by mothers with borderline personality disorder are at risk of developing the same kind of emotional problems. They may find themselves facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles in order to overcome their parent's dysfunctional attitudes, and it may be necessary to seek professional help to work on such feelings. Adult children of BDP parents are often afflicted with so much guilt and such a strong sense of profound obligation and shame that they feel obliged to keep secret all that has happened in the family, even when it is destroying their lives. These people can find it really difficult to share their experiences because mothers with BPD are usually very good at creating the perfect family image for outsiders to the family. I advise you to read this book if any of these symptoms sound familiar: - Sudden unexplained anxiety followed by rapid falls into depression. - Doubting yourself and your sanity. - Mood swings. - Endless and repetitive obsessive thinking about your mother. - Constantly try to find explanations for what happened. - Feelings of powerlessness and despair. - A desire to self-isolate. - Overwhelming feelings of loss and pain. - Extreme attacks of anger. - Insomnia or strange dreams. Many readers can recognize their mothers and themselves in this book Often the children of borderline mothers are terrified of their attitudes and remain paralyzed by failing to react, others find courage but find themselves without the right tools to face them. What you need to learn - Understanding the psychological mechanisms of a borderline mother. - The main styles of a borderline mother - identify the traits. - The serious consequences in adulthood if you don't address these issues. - Things you should never do with BPD sufferers/Learn to defend yourself emotionally against them. - How to overcome the trauma and begin a healthy healing process. There are many other situations that will be listed within this book. Knowing the right information allows you to contain the damage and avoid unnecessary suffering The internal dynamics and long-term unresolved traumas can create irreversible damage to your sanity, threatening future emotional and mental stability, so it is important to take immediate action. If you are tired of carrying this weight every day and want to finally make a change in your life this book has been written especially for you. Heal the deep wounds of the child within you
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships. The constant search for mother love can be a lifelong emotional burden, but healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing. McDaniel is the first clinician to identify Mother Hunger, which demystifies the search for love and provides the compass that each woman needs to end the struggle with achy, lonely emptiness, and come home to herself.
Discusses the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and explains how the families and friends of patients can cope with BPD behavior while taking care of themselves.
