How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday! Celebrate the ditsiest and dumbest blondes of them all with The World’s Stupidest Blondes. From blonde celebrity bloopers to blonde jokes and blonde bombshells, this book provides you with all things goofy and golden. Whether you’re blonde or brunette, dumb or not so dumb, this book’s sure to entertain with pieces like: Hypothetically Blonde: Things that can keep a blonde pondering for days -Ask her for the definition of stir-fry -Give her a piece of paper with “please turn over” written on both sides -Send her to the grocery store for jumbo shrimp From the famous to the everyday, The World’s Stupidest Blondes gets to the root of blonde absurdity—bad dye job or not!
Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, Marilyn Monroe, and Madonna, just to name a few. Each of them, at times, naughty, controversial, propheticàand blonde. What is it about these golden-tressed bombshells that cause us to hang on their every word? YouÆll find out in On Being Blonde, which showcases the worldÆs top 40 blondes, sharing their outrageous life stories and their wise and witty bon mots. This is the most complete collection to date of the most quotable quotes by the fair haired chanteuses from our past and our present. From "Strawberry" to "Dishwater" weÆve got a dynamic sampling of the most profound statements to ever escape their lipsà and thatÆs no joke! Plus Blonde tips, tricks, and trivia. Everything you ever wanted to know about the Blonde mystique! "If I've one life...let me live it as a blonde!" --Clairol. "Gentlemen prefer blondes" --Anita Loos "I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde." --Dolly Parton
Make Your Family or Friends Laugh With These Funny Jokes About Blondes! Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write "flip" on both sides of a sheet of paper! Everyone loves to laugh. That is why '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' is the perfect gift book. To treat yourself, or surprise a loved one. This collection of Dumb Blonde Jokes will have you (and your friends) rolling on the floor with laughter! Why You Should Get Your Copy Of '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' In this book, you will find: - 100+ Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes - 30+ Funny Illustrations This joke book is a great gift idea if you want to spend more quality time with your friends, or simply want to have a good laugh! BUY: '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' Sample Jokes Will You Find Inside: Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "I wonder if it's mine." *** A blonde went to buy a pizza. After ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please, " she said, "I could never eat twelve!" *** Three blonde girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train. *** Buy '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes', and you will get access to all the other jokes. Finally, as a FREE & EXCLUSIVE BONUS, you're also getting 11 super funny jokes from my popular book '101 Hilarious Yo Momma Jokes.' So, are you ready for the funniest dumb blondes jokes you have ever come across? Take action now! Scroll to the top of this page and click the 'Buy Now' button.
If the latest research on genetics is correct two hundred years from now the last blonde will be living in Finland and blondes (in their non-chemically enhanced state) will have disappeared, which gives us, males a rather tight deadline to make the most of the situation, pass round some jokes and ponder on the dismal state the world will be in once there are no more blondes! From quick-fire, short jokes to long, complex tales on blondes Ed Sullivan's lifelong collection of blonde jokes leaves few stones unturned and even fewer areas untouched when it comes to milking a situation for fun. All of which is an excellent reason to open up this eBook, fire up our email and fill up the inbox of friends and relatives with some truly hilarious stuff.
A pocket atlas of Surrey, giving comprehensive and detailed coverage of the region. The mapping is produced by the Ordnance Survey to Philip's specification and gives the user complete coverage of all urban and rural areas. The mapping is at a standard scale of 2.5 inches to one mile and is complete with postcode boundaries.
Demonstrates how society favors the beautiful and how better-looking people experience startling but undeniable benefits in various aspects of life. This title shows that the attractive are more likely to be employed, work more productively and profitably, negotiate loans with better terms, and have more handsome and highly educated spouses.
Funny Blonde Jokes This is a huge collection of very funny blonde jokes.Here are just a few examples of the blonde jokes inside this book:- How did the blonde die while drinking milk?The cow fell on top of her. Why did the blonde sell her water skis?She couldn't find a lake on a hill. How does a blonde car pool work?They all meet up at work. Why did the blonde return the jigsaw puzzle?She thought it was broken. What's the mating call of a blonde?"I'm sooooo drunk." How does a blonde recharge her love life? She changes the batteries. Did you hear about the blonde who spent twenty minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate". Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? She missed the Earth! Did you hear about the blonde who shut herself in the fridge as she wanted to know if the light really goes off. There are many more really funny blonde jokes, puns, gags and story based jokes in this shamelessly politically incorrect blonde jokes book. There are over 250 hilarious dumb blonde jokes in total for you to enjoy.Buy this funny blondes joke book now.
From New York Times best-selling author and creator of the popular Ring of Fire series Eric Flint. A new collection of short stories by a master of sciecne fiction, fantasy, and alternate history. WELCOME TO THE MANY WORLDS OF BEST-SELLING AUTHOR ERIC FLINT Known for his New York Times best-selling alternate history novels, Flint is equally a master of shorter forms, and this second large volume gathers more of Flint’s shorter works. Including several stories and a short novel set in Flint’s celebrated Ring of Fire alternate history series. A commemorative novelette set in Poul Anderson’s Operation Chaos universe. A story with Dave Freer, set in his and Flint’s popular Rats, Bats and Vats series. Several humorous short stories addressing Biblical literalism. A long novella in a Martian steampunk setting. And another long novella set in David Weber’s best-selling Honor Harrington universe. In addition to the fiction, Eric Flint has written an overall introduction, plus an introduction for each story, telling how it came to be written, making this an irresistible book for the many thousands of Eric Flint fans. At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM (Digital Rights Management). About Eric Flint: “Another engaging alternate history from a master of the genre.”—Booklist “. . . an old-style police-procedural mystery, set in 17th century Germany. . . . the threads . . . spin together . . . to weave an addictively entertaining story. . . . a strong addition to a fun series.”—Daily News of Galveston County “This alternate history series is … a landmark…”—Booklist “[Eric] Flint's 1632 universe seems to be inspiring a whole new crop of gifted alternate historians.”—Booklist “…reads like a technothriller set in the age of the Medicis…”—Publishers Weekly p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #454545} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #454545; min-height: 14.0px}
Zachary Nixon Johnson is the last private eye on earth (long story, starts here). And in the pop culture-crazed, deco-inspired world of 2057, that makes him a bit of a celebrity. It also makes him a magnet for trouble. In his years as a PI, Zach has seen a lot of strange things and solved a lot of crazy cases. But when the famous BB Starr, a former exotic dancer who is now the CEO of the world’s largest corporation, hires him to find her illegal, plutonium-powered, psychotic android clone, Zach knows that the weirdness of his life is about to get a whole lot weirder. Once Zach takes the case, his life is suddenly filled with unwanted publicity, uncommon dangers, and unexplained assassination attempts. He realizes that not only is this case more trouble than it’s worth, but the mystery of the missing android is deeper than he thought. Together with his beautiful, kick-boxing surgeon girlfriend Electra, his genius inventor tech expert Randy, and his holographic, sentient super-computer sidekick HARV, Zach must find a way to unravel the mystery, find the missing android, and quite possibly save all humanity from total destruction. What some guys will do for five thousand credits per day, plus expenses. REVIEWS An excellent first novel in the style of the great Douglas Adams ... This novel can be universally recommended to anyone with a funny bone. --Cinescape Surprisingly clever ... spoofs the genre and everything else in sight. --Science Fiction Chronicle (Best of '01) A fast-paced science fiction noir thriller that has entertaining plot twists. --Romantic Times Fast-paced, witty and shrewd ... futuristic pulp for the thinking reader ... No one who got two paragraphs into this dark, droll, downright irresistible novel could ever bear to put it down until the last heart pounding moment. --SF Site A tongue-in-cheek hardboiled attitude .. good fun for those who can handle the concentrated doses of humor. --Locus Manages to blend the pulpy hard-boiled detective genre with pulpy sf for an entertaining read that pokes fun at both. The writing and dialogue is snappy and smart and the story is fast paced. I can't recommend enough for anyone looking for a fun twist on sf and detective novels. --Pink Raygun
The Blondes is a hilarious and whipsmart novel where an epidemic of a rabies-like disease is carried only by blonde women, all of whom must go to great lengths to conceal their blondness. Hazel Hayes is a grad student living in New York City. As the novel opens, she learns she is pregnant (from an affair with her married professor) at an apocalyptically bad time: random but deadly attacks on passers-by, all by blonde women, are terrorizing New Yorkers. Soon it becomes clear that the attacks are symptoms of a strange illness that is transforming blondes—whether CEOs, flight attendants, students or accountants—into rabid killers. Emily Schultz's beautifully realized novel is a mix of satire, thriller, and serious literary work. With biting satiric wit, The Blondes is at once an examination of the complex relationships between women, and a merciless but giddily enjoyable portrait of what happens in a world where beauty is—literally—deadly.
