The Truth About Grief

The Truth About Grief

Author: Ruth Davis Konigsberg

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2011-01-04

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 1439152640

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The five stages of grief are so deeply imbedded in our culture that no American can escape them. Every time we experience loss—a personal or national one—we hear them recited: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The stages are invoked to explain everything from how we will recover from the death of a loved one to a sudden environmental catastrophe or to the trading away of a basketball star. But the stunning fact is that there is no validity to the stages that were proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross more than forty years ago. In The Truth About Grief, Ruth Davis Konigsberg shows how the five stages were based on no science but nonetheless became national myth. She explains that current research paints a completely different picture of how we actually grieve. It turns out people are pretty well programmed to get over loss. Grieving should not be a strictly regimented process, she argues; nor is the best remedy for pain always to examine it or express it at great length. The strength of Konigsberg’s message is its liberating force: there is no manual to grieving; you can do it freestyle. In the course of clarifying our picture of grief, Konigsberg tells its history, revealing how social and cultural forces have shaped our approach to loss from the Gettysburg Address through 9/11. She examines how the American version of grief has spread to the rest of the world and contrasts it with the interpretations of other cultures—like the Chinese, who focus more on their bond with the deceased than on the emotional impact of bereavement. Konigsberg also offers a close look at Kübler-Ross herself: who she borrowed from to come up with her theory, and how she went from being a pioneering psychiatrist to a New Age healer who sought the guidance of two spirits named Salem and Pedro and declared that death did not exist. Deeply researched and provocative, The Truth About Grief draws on history, culture, and science to upend our country’s most entrenched beliefs about its most common experience.


Tell Me The Truth About Loss

Tell Me The Truth About Loss

Author: Niamh Fitzpatrick

Publisher: Gill & Macmillan Ltd

Published: 2020-09-25

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 0717183858

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In March 2017, Niamh Fitzpatrick's life fell apart overnight. Her beloved sister Dara was killed in a helicopter crash. Soon afterwards, Niamh's marriage disintegrated, and she feared she would lose her house. Life as she knew it had ended and the loss she suffered was staggering. A psychologist for many years, Niamh's job was to guide clients through the worst times in their lives. Drawing on everything she learned, first to survive and then, in time, to begin to thrive, Tell Me the Truth about Loss is a psychologist's journey through loss, grief and the worst of times, while finding hope along the way. A beautiful book for when life isn't what you expect it to be.


The Hot Young Widows Club

The Hot Young Widows Club

Author: Nora McInerny

Publisher: Simon & Schuster/ TED

Published: 2019-04-30

Total Pages: 112

ISBN-13: 198210998X

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From the host of the popular podcast, Terrible, Thanks for Asking, comes a wise, humorous roadmap and caring resource for anyone going through the loss of a loved one—or even a difficult life moment. In the span of a few weeks, thirty-something Nora McInerny had a miscarriage, lost her father to cancer, and lost her husband due to a brain tumor. Her life fell apart. What Nora discovered during this dark time is that, when you’re in these hard moments, it can feel impossible to feel like even a shadow of the person you once were. People will give you all sorts of advice of how to hold onto your sanity and sense of self. But how exactly? How do you find that person again? Welcome to The Hot Young Widows Club, Nora’s response to the toughest questions about life’s biggest struggles. The Hot Young Widows Club isn’t just for people who have lost a spouse, but an essential tool for anyone who has gone through a major life struggle. Based on her own experiences and those of the listeners dedicated to her podcast, Terrible, Thanks for Asking, Nora offers wise, heartfelt, and often humorous advice to anyone navigating a painful period in their lives. Full of practical guidance, Nora also reminds us that it’s still okay to laugh, despite your deep grief. She explores how readers can educate the people around them on what to do, what to say, and how to best to lend their support. Ultimately, this book is a space for people to recognize that they aren’t alone, and to learn how to get through life’s hardest moments with grace and humor, and even hope.


Grief Denied

Grief Denied

Author: Pauline Laurent

Publisher: Catalyst for Change

Published: 1999

Total Pages: 238

ISBN-13:

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Grief Denied is about healing: it is about coming to terms with the intimate pain and emotional violence that was unleashed by the Vietnam War. It is also a bittersweet love story in which a young girl meets a soldier-boy, a young bride loses her soldier-husband and how, on the 30th anniversary of their marriage, the mature woman is finally able to say good-bye to the man she will always love. Laurent tells her story with clarity and candor and a great deal of caring. There are vivid descriptions of her husband, Howard, who died in combat in Vietnam on May 10, 1968, when she was 22 years old and in the last phase of her first pregnancy. There are also sharp, tender portraits of her daughter Michelle, her parents, her friends and her lovers. The author doesn't seem to have held back anything or to have denied readers a full and complete view of her personality, including her dark side. So there are emotionally wrenching accounts of her depression, her suicidal feelings, her "insanity," as she calls it, as well as her therapy and recovery and rediscovery of prayer and faith. Grief Denied offers deeply moving passages from Howard's letters to Pauline shortly before his death. Laurent describes how Vietnam got to her, though she was thousands of miles away from the heat, the dirt and the mortars. If somehow or other you never did appreciate how Vietnam got to the heart of America, then this book ought to be at the top of your list of books to read.


The Wilderness of Grief

The Wilderness of Grief

Author: Alan D. Wolfelt

Publisher: Companion Press

Published: 2007-05-28

Total Pages: 114

ISBN-13: 1617220159

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Based on the author's previous guides to a 10-touchstone method of grief therapy, this book takes an inspirational approach to the material, presenting the idea of wilderness as a sustained metaphor for grief—and likening the death of a loved one to the experience of being wrenched from normal life and dropped down in the middle of nowhere. Feeling lost and afraid in this uncharted territory, people are initially overwhelmed, the book explains, but they begin to make their way through the new landscape by searching for trail markers—or touchstones—until they emerge as intrepid travelers climbing up out of despair. The touchstones for each step are described in short chapters such as "Embrace the Uniqueness of Your Loss," "Recognize You Are Not Crazy," and "Appreciate Your Transformation."


A GRIEF OBSERVED (Based on a Personal Journal)

A GRIEF OBSERVED (Based on a Personal Journal)

Author: C. S. Lewis

Publisher: DigiCat

Published: 2023-12-29

Total Pages: 45

ISBN-13:

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A Grief Observed is a collection of Lewis's reflections on the experience of bereavement following the death of his wife, Joy Davidman, in 1960. The book was first published under the pseudonym N.W. Clerk as Lewis wished to avoid identification as the author. Though republished in 1963 after his death under his own name, the text still refers to his wife as "H" (her first name, which she rarely used, was Helen). The book is compiled from the four notebooks which Lewis used to vent and explore his grief. He illustrates the everyday trials of his life without Joy and explores fundamental questions of faith and theodicy. Lewis's step-son (Joy's son) Douglas Gresham points out in his 1994 introduction that the indefinite article 'a' in the title makes it clear that Lewis's grief is not the quintessential grief experience at the loss of a loved one, but one individual's perspective among countless others. The book helped inspire a 1985 television movie Shadowlands, as well as a 1993 film of the same name. Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963) was a British novelist, poet, academic, medievalist, lay theologian and Christian apologist. He is best known for his fictional work, especially The Screwtape Letters, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Space Trilogy, and for his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain.


Permission to Mourn

Permission to Mourn

Author: Tom Zuba

Publisher:

Published: 2014-11

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781600475658

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Written in a poetic structure, the author lets us into his life and grief while offering hope and lessons to other grief survivors.


How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed

How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed

Author: Megan Devine

Publisher: Sounds True

Published: 2021-08-10

Total Pages: 207

ISBN-13: 1649630093

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An illustrated journal for meeting grief with honesty and kindness—honoring loss, rather than packing it away With her breakout book It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine struck a chord with thousands of readers through her honest, validating approach to grief. In her same direct, no-platitudes style, she now offers How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed—a journal filled with unique, creative ways to open a dialogue with grief itself. “Being allowed to tell the truth about your grief is an incredibly powerful act,” she says. “This journal enables you to tell your whole story, without the need to tack on a happy ending where there isn’t one.” Grief is a natural response to death and loss—it’s not an illness to be cured or a problem to be fixed. This workbook contains no clichés, timetables, or checklists of stages to get through; it won’t help you “move past” or put your loss behind you. Instead, you’ll find encouragement, self-care exercises, and daily tools, including: •Writing prompts to help you honor your pain and heartbreak • On-the-spot practices for tough situations—like grocery store trips, the sleepless nights, and being the “awkward guest” • The art of healthy distraction and self-care • What you can do when you worry that “moving on” means “letting go of love” • Practical advice for fielding the dreaded “How are you doing?” question • What it means to find meaning in your loss • How to hold joy and grief at the same time • Tear-and-share resources to help you educate friends and allies • The “Griever’s Bill of Rights,” and much more Your grief, like your love, belongs to you. No one has the right to dictate, judge, or dismiss what is yours to live. How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed is a journal and everyday companion to help you enter a conversation with your grief, find your own truth, and live into the life you didn’t ask for—but is here nonetheless.


Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal

Getting Back to Life When Grief Won't Heal

Author: Phyllis Kosminsky

Publisher: Amazon.com

Published: 2007-01-08

Total Pages: 246

ISBN-13: 9780071464727

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Presents a practical guide to dealing with grief; and offers personal case studies and advice that help individuals find peace, acceptance, and strength to move on.


The Wild Edge of Sorrow

The Wild Edge of Sorrow

Author: Francis Weller

Publisher: North Atlantic Books

Published: 2015-09-15

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 1583949763

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"It blew me away. I underlined things on nearly every page." —Anderson Cooper, All There Is The Wild Edge of Sorrow offers hope and healing for a profoundly fractured world—and a pathway home to the brightness, pains, and gifts of being alive. Introducing the 5 gates of grief, psychotherapist Francis Weller explores how we move through the waters of grief and loss in a culture so fundamentally detached from the needs of the soul. • The first gate recognizes—and invites us to accept—the painful truth that everything we love, we will lose. With this acceptance comes beauty and responsibility—and an openness into which we can pour the full love of our hearts. At the first gate, we meet the sorrow of losing a loved one; the grief of illness; and the unique and profound pains that accompany loss by suicide. • The second gate helps us uncover and tend to the places that have not known love: the neglected pieces of our soul that need restoration and care. These “places” can be our secret shames, or the parts of us that we feel are undeserving of love. At the second gate, we face our shadows and heal our most tender wounds. • The third gate meets us at the sorrows of the world, inviting us to open to the grave pain of our planet: the destruction of ecosystems, the harms of extractive capitalism, the unfathomable pain of war and occupation. We learn to honor and hold this grief even as we move through it, recommitting ourselves to the actions our souls call upon us to perform in service of healing and renewal. • The fourth gate, what we expected but did not receive, is present in each and every one of our lives. We may need love from a parent or partner unable to give it; we may lack the language to ask for the care we deserve. Each is a loss that must be acknowledged and grieved to move toward wholeness. • The fifth gate opens to our ancestral grief: the traumas, pains, losses, and unrealized dreams of those who came before us. Weller invites us to reconnect to our bodies, our communities, and the ancestral knowledge we hold in our bones...but may have forgotten. Profoundly moving, beautifully written, this book is a balm for the soul and a necessary salve for moving together through difficult times. Grounded in ritual and connection, The Wild Edge of Sorrow welcomes each grief with care and attention, opening us to the feelings, experiences, and sacred knowledge that connect us to each other and ultimately make us whole.