Magnetic Partners

Magnetic Partners

Author: Stephen Betchen

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2010-05-18

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 1439109540

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Do you and your partner argue about the same things over and over again? Are you often confused about why your partner is so angry with you? Are things getting worse and worse even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to make them better? In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples’ therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their lives—an unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing up—which he calls a "master conflict." The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apart—many of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both. From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflicts—such as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivity—and for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to: • Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems • Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner • Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart • Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partners is an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience. Partners


Will Our Love Last?

Will Our Love Last?

Author: Sam R. Hamburg

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2001-03-17

Total Pages: 317

ISBN-13: 0743203526

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Am I with the right person? Will our love last? Men and women in love are haunted by these questions. Love -- especially why it blossoms in relationships and why it later dies -- is a mystery to them. Will Our Love Last? A Couple's Road Map solves this mystery by giving readers a new understanding of love -- an understanding they can actually use to evaluate the soundness of their relationships and to answer confidently the crucial questions that mystified them before. Based on hundreds of cases in his twenty-four years as a marital therapist and twenty-nine years in his own happy marriage, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how compatibility is the key to lasting love. He shows how compatibility on three major dimensions -- the Practical Dimension, the Sexual Dimension, and the Wavelength Dimension -- is essential to the mutual understanding and affirmation that keep love alive, and he leads readers through a simple but systematic procedure for assessing their compatibility with a romantic partner in these crucial relationship areas. Dr. Hamburg introduces a new technique, The Hand Rotation Exercise, to help readers express their degree of compatibility and then convey that visually to their partner. In addition, he presents two new original techniques for working through relationship conflicts and coming to agreement on difficult issues: His Way/Her Way and The Long Conversation. Written in a clear, direct style that is free of jargon, Will Our Love Last? empowers readers to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Will Our Love Last? will help couples trying to decide if they should take the next step to a more committed relationship. It will aid individuals embarking on a new relationship, or who are between relationships, to evaluate the rightness of a new or prospective partner. And it will assist people who are already in committed relationships to make an honest assessment of their prospects for happiness with their current partner. People have it in their power to make sure that they truly are with the right person. Will Our Love Last? shows the way.


The Relationship Between Cooperation and Conflict and Perceived Level of Marital Happiness as Indicators of the Adlerian Concept of Social Interest

The Relationship Between Cooperation and Conflict and Perceived Level of Marital Happiness as Indicators of the Adlerian Concept of Social Interest

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 2006

Total Pages:

ISBN-13:

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The purpose of this study was to bridge the existing gap in the literature by exploring the relationship between the Adlerian concept of social interest, expressed through cooperation and conflict, and perceived level of marital happiness. This study explored behaviors along a continuum of social interest from cooperation to conflict. Preexisting data were used from the longitudinal Marital Instability over the Life Course Project funded by the United States Department of Health and Human Services and the National Institute on Aging (Booth, Johnson, Amato, & Rogers, 2003). Data from telephone surveys were collected in 1980, 1983, 1988, 1992-1994, 1997, and 2000 from married individuals who were between the ages of 18 and 55 in 1980. The initial random sample was 2,033, but attrition took place for each of the subsequent waves, resulting in 762 respondents in 2000. Results of hierarchical regression analyses revealed statistically significant relationships in a positive direction between cooperation and marital happiness, and in a negative direction between conflict and marital happiness across all waves of data. Cooperation and conflict as indicators of social interest accounted for between 26% and 37% of the variance in marital happiness, except for the 1988 wave, which was an aberration on all measures and accounted for only 12% of the variance. This still exceeded the a priori effect size selected for the study, a standardized regression coefficient of .10. Implications for theory, research and practice include focus on the link between higher levels of social interest as demonstrated through cooperative behaviors and greater marital happiness, one between conflict and lower levels of marital happiness. Marriage and family therapists need to consider the underlying goals of conflict such as power that may reveal underdeveloped levels of social interest. Counselors need to focus on helping couples develop relational skills that include the social provisions needed like empathy, understanding, and support. Future research is needed to more clearly define behaviors along the continuum of social interest.


Essentials of the Perfect Marriage

Essentials of the Perfect Marriage

Author: Hellene Paredes

Publisher: Hellene Paredes

Published: 2023-10-13

Total Pages: 86

ISBN-13:

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"Is there a perfect marriage? Or is it an illusion to believe that we can find perfect happiness in a relationship?" These are questions that many of us ask when entering into a marital relationship or when trying to strengthen an existing marriage. The book "Fundamentals of the Perfect Marriage - How to Build Marital Happiness" is a compassionate and inspiring guide that aims to explore these questions and provide innovative guidance for all couples seeking a truly happy and solid relationship. The Construction of Marital Happiness In the pages of this book, we invite each reader to a journey of deep and meaningful reflection. Here, we share the belief that marital happiness is not a final destination that is automatically achieved by saying "I do" at the altar. Instead, it is an ongoing project that requires effort, dedication and mutual commitment. The Pillars of Marital Happiness Our work explores the essential foundations that support a solid and healthy relationship. We cover fundamental topics, such as: Companionship: The importance of being a true companion on the journey of life as a couple. Partnership: How active collaboration and equal effort are crucial to a successful marriage. Complicity: Building a deep and trusting connection between partners. Mutual Respect: The basis of respectful treatment and appreciation of differences. Marital Empathy: The ability to understand and support each other in times of joy and difficulty. Mature and Respectful Communication: How to develop effective communication skills to resolve conflicts and maintain an open dialogue. Sharing interests: The importance of maintaining personal and marital interests in your life as a couple. "Fundamentals of the Perfect Marriage - How to Build Marital Happiness" is more than a book; it is an invitation to transform the marriage journey into a wonderful, rewarding and ongoing creation. Whether they are newlyweds or have shared decades of life together, readers will find this book wisdom and guidance for creating the marital bliss they've always dreamed of. Discover how to build a solid marriage, full of love, respect and joy, and embark on this exciting journey towards the perfect marriage.


The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts

The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts

Author: Judith Wallerstein

Publisher: Plunkett Lake Press

Published: 2019-08-09

Total Pages: 304

ISBN-13:

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When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health


Assessment of Marital Discord (Psychology Revivals)

Assessment of Marital Discord (Psychology Revivals)

Author: K. Daniel O'Leary

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2013-12-19

Total Pages: 434

ISBN-13: 1317915550

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Originally published in 1987 this book was designed to present the most recent research data on assessment of various aspects of marriage. Noted authorities on specific assessment areas provide information on conceptual and practical issues in marital assessment. The chapters include assessment of: behavior; affect; social cognition; communication; sexual dysfunction; child and marital problems; family assessment. All the chapters include reference to specific assessment measures of the areas covered. In addition, for clinical use, one has been selected by each of the authors to represent a state of the art measure that can be used by clinicians. Reliability, validity, and normative data are presented on these measures, which appear in full in the appendix of the text. O'Leary provides a context for this book in the first chapter of the book, and in the final chapter, discusses with his co-author how they begin their assessments, from the initial phone contact, the assessment battery, the interviews with the clients and the couple, to the evaluation of the therapy sessions by the clients.


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Author: John Gottman, PhD

Publisher: Harmony

Published: 2015-05-05

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 0553447718

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.


The Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup

Author: David H. Olson

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 2008-06-29

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1418573272

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A book and online profile that identifies a couple's strengths to help them build a more vital relationship. Based on an unprecedented national survey of 50,000 marriages, The Couple Checkup presents the principles for creating a successful couple relationship. The free online profile includes fifteen to twenty categories that are customized based on the relationship stage-whether dating, engaged, or married-the age, and whether or not children are involved. The book also includes the SCOPE Personality Profile and the Couple and Family Map of the relationship. Each chapter of the book matches a category in the free individual profile. While the book stands on its own, using the Couple Checkup with the book provides the maximum benefit. In addition, each chapter contains couple exercises to help build couple strengths in a variety of areas.


Premarital Prediction of Marital Quality or Breakup

Premarital Prediction of Marital Quality or Breakup

Author: Thomas B. Holman

Publisher: Springer Science & Business Media

Published: 2005-12-16

Total Pages: 336

ISBN-13: 0306471868

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This book should be of interest to scholars, researchers, students, and practitioners alike. Scholars, researchers, and students of personal relationship development will recognize in this book the first serious attempt in over 40 years to do a large-scale, longitudinal study of premarital factors that predict premarital breakup and marital quality; they should also appreciate our attempt to develop a theoretical rationale for predicted paths and to test those paths with the best available statistical tools. Practitioners-while generally not as interested in the intricacies of the statistical results-will find much that is useful to them as they help individuals and couples make decisions about their intimate relationships, their readiness for marriage, and how to increase the probability for marital success. Teachers, family life educators, premarital counselors, and clergy will find helpful our “principles for practice,” particularly as described in Chapter 9, as they teach and counsel couples in any premarital situation. My interest in the development of relationships from premarital to marital probably began when I got married in 1972 and started to notice all of the characteristics my wife and I brought from our respective families and how our “new beginning” as a married couple was in many ways the continuation of our premarital relationship, only more refined and more intense. My professional interest began when I did my doctoral dissertation in 198 1 on premarital predictors of early marital satisfaction (the results of that study are reported in Chapter 8).