The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself
The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

Author: Dr. Mike Bechtle

Publisher: Revell

Published: 2021-01-19

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 1493428926

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We all want other people to like us and think well of us. But when we depend on the praise, admiration, or appreciation of others for our sense of self-worth, we become trapped in an exhausting and debilitating cycle of people-pleasing relationships where we always give and rarely receive. The most common advice we hear--Start putting your own needs first!-- doesn't work, because we do love helping other people! Thankfully, the solution to the people pleaser's "problem" isn't to fundamentally change who you are--it's to fundamentally change where you find your worth. In this freeing book, Dr. Mike Bechtle shows you stop letting your fears of rejection, criticism, invisibility, or inadequacy drive your actions and start rebuilding your sense of self-worth from the inside out. When you do, you'll discover that what you once thought of as a struggle is actually a strength.

When It's Never about You
When It's Never about You

Author: Ilene S. Cohen Ph D

Publisher: Harte Publishing

Published: 2017

Total Pages: 206

ISBN-13: 9780999311509

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Everyone loves a people-pleaser. They're always willing to help, to stay late, to fill in, to "go along." But if you're one of them, you often end up feeling violated, ignored, disrespected, and disconnected--from life and others. Silently enduring the ongoing and relentless invalidation of who you are and what you want will reliably wreak havoc on your health and the health of your relationships.psychotherapist, Ilene S. Cohen, uses real-world examples and activities to help you take a systemic look at people-pleasing. You'll learn... How to reclaim a strong and balanced sense of self--while still being a "good person." How to break the harmful behavior patterns that keep you from being heard, listened to and respected. Specific strategies for transforming yourself from selfless to "self-full."How to go from feeling "vanished" to being clearly differentiated.How to get what you want and need--while actually earning even more respect from others.

When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable
When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable

Author: Karen Ehman

Publisher: Zondervan

Published: 2021-08-03

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 0310347599

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Are you overwhelmed by others' unrealistic expectations of you? Do you feel torn in dozens of directions as you try to make everyone around you happy? If you're ready to end the cycle of approval seeking, New York Times bestselling author and recovering people pleaser Karen Ehman is here to help! When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable shares the refreshing, heartfelt lessons that Karen learned firsthand during her own journey of breaking free from people pleasing in order to live out her God-given purpose. Let Karen be your new go-to guide as you learn to successfully break the destructive pattern of people pleasing and start fully embracing the life God has called you to lead. With equal parts humor and vulnerability, Karen explores why it's so easy to fall into people-pleasing behaviors and reminds us that we can't fulfill our divine purpose if we're too busy living everyone else's. She offers her timely advice for living with less overwhelm and with more peace and purpose, sharing words of wisdom that will help you: Prioritize what God says above what other people think Live your life without worrying about the opinions and expectations of others Cultivate a strategy for knowing when to say yes and how to say no Create and maintain healthy boundaries with the pushers, pouters, guilt bombers and others who try to call the shots in your life Learn to navigate the tension between pleasing God and loving your community Join Karen as she encourages you to walk closely--and confidently--with our loving Creator, despite the opinions and expectations of others. It's time to end the people-pleasing game and finally enjoy the peaceful and purposeful life that you deserve.

Pleasing People
Pleasing People

Author: Lou Priolo

Publisher: P & R Publishing

Published: 2007

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781596380554

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Are you a people pleaser? Are you addicted to a€œapprovala€? from others, and would do just about anything to get that approval? Biblical counselor Lou Priolo exposes all the prideful manifestations of this problem and, as always, offers solid, systematic Biblical solutions! Even readers who feel that they do not have this problem should read this helpful book, because what you dona€t know can and will hurt you and others.\n

People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys
People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

Author: Dr. Mike Bechtle

Publisher: Baker Books

Published: 2012-10-01

Total Pages: 214

ISBN-13: 1441239626

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Strange as it may seem, other people are not nearly as committed to our happiness as we are. In fact, sometimes they seem like they're on a mission to make us miserable! There's always that one person. The one who hijacks your emotions and makes you crazy. The one who seems to thrive on drama. If you could just "fix" that person, everything would be better. But we can't fix other people--we can only make choices about ourselves. In this cut-to-the-chase book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows readers that they don't have to be victims of other people's craziness. With commonsense wisdom and practical advice that can be implemented immediately, Bechtle gives readers a proven strategy to handle crazy people. More than just offering a set of techniques, Bechtle offers a new perspective that will change readers' lives as they deal with those difficult people who just won't go away.

Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself
Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself

Author: Candace Plattor

Publisher: Being At Choice Consultants

Published: 2016-10-28

Total Pages: 162

ISBN-13: 0981385087

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Are you feeling exasperated and helpless about your family member's addiction? Are you at your wit's end, having tried everything you can think of to make them stop? If someone you love is engaging in addictive behaviors such as alcohol and drug misuse, eating disorders, smoking, gambling, Internet addiction, sex addiction, compulsive overspending, or relationship addiction, you are undoubtedly experiencing unpredictability in your relationship. Some of the most common emotions you will experience include: - Guilt and shame - Anger and anxiety - Confusion and powerlessness Whether the addict in your life is your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague, the key to changing this reality for yourself lies in shifting your focus from your loved one's addiction to you own self-care. This book presents a dramatically fresh approach to help you get off the roller-coaster chaos of addiction, maintain your own sanity and serenity, and live your best life.

Boundary Boss
Boundary Boss

Author: Terri Cole, MSW, LCSW

Publisher: Sounds True

Published: 2021-04-20

Total Pages: 204

ISBN-13: 1683647696

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Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.

The Best Yes
The Best Yes

Author: Lysa TerKeurst

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 2014-08-19

Total Pages: 273

ISBN-13: 1400205867

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Are you tired of living with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule and aching with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul? Do you find yourself unable to say no even when you should? Are you stuck under the weight of endless demands and responsibilities? The good news is: it doesn't have to be this way. In The Best Yes, New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst guides you through the insightful lessons she's learned about what it means to live out the purpose that God has in store for you. Lysa demonstrates the incredible power of two words--yes and no--and the way that these simple, daily decisions can shape the story of our lives. Lysa has learned firsthand that there's a big difference between saying yes to everyone and saying yes to God. Drawing from applicable scriptures and her own personal experiences, Lysa teaches us that if we know and believe that God has a plan for each of us, we'll live it out--serving as living proof of His never-ending grace and kindness. Throughout The Best Yes, Lysa will give you the practical tools you need to: Stop people-pleasing by embracing a biblical understanding of love Escape the guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no Overcome the agony of hard choices by grounding your decisions in wisdom Grow closer to God as you sharpen your own discernment Learn to be intentional with your time, your choices, and yourself Incorporate the Best Yes as a filter for your daily decision making If we take time to slow down and rise above the rush of the world's endless demands, we can rest assured that God's wisdom will help us make decisions that will still be good tomorrow. No matter what season of life you find yourself in, you deserve the chance to make decisions that bring out the best you.

Thriving as an Empath
Thriving as an Empath

Author: Judith Orloff

Publisher: Sounds True

Published: 2019-10-22

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 1683642929

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Dr. Judith Orloff offers 365 days of self-care meditations, reflections, and journaling suggestions as daily inoculations against stress and overwhelm Empaths have so much to offer as healers, creatives, friends, lovers, and innovators at work. Yet highly sensitive and empathic people often give too much at the expense of their own well-being—and end up absorbing the stress of others. “To stay healthy and happy,” writes Judith Orloff, MD, “you must be ready with daily self-care practices that work.” With Thriving as an Empath, Dr. Orloff provides an invaluable resource to help you protect yourself from the stresses of an overwhelming world and embrace the “gift of being different." If you want daily tools to put into action, this book is for you. Building on the principles Dr. Orloff introduced in The Empath's Survival Guide, this book brings you daily self-care practices and support for becoming a compassionate, empowered empath, including: • Setting strong boundaries • Protecting your energy • Inoculating yourself against stress and overwhelm • Self-soothing techniques • Knowing that it is not your job to take on the world’s stress • Breaking the momentum of sensory overload • Tapping the vitality of all four seasons and the elements • Deepening your connection with the cycles of nature • Moving out of clock-based time into “sacred time” Thriving as an Empath was created to help you grow and flourish without internalizing the emotions and pain of others. “These self-care techniques have been life-saving for me and my patients,” writes Dr. Orloff. “I feel so strongly about regular self-care because I want you to enjoy the extraordinary gifts of sensitivity—including an open heart, intuition, and an intimate connection with the natural world.”

You Don't Owe Anyone
You Don't Owe Anyone

Author: Caroline Garnet McGraw

Publisher: Broadleaf Books

Published: 2021-04-20

Total Pages: 222

ISBN-13: 1506464106

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You Don't Owe Anyone is for perfectionists, workaholics, people pleasers, and strivers who feel stuck in the try-hard cycle. Sharing her experiences as a life coach and recovering perfectionist, Caroline Garnet McGraw shows us how we can free ourselves from the weight of expectations and encourages us to move our lives forward without apology. Inspired by the author's viral essay "You Don't Owe Anyone an Interaction," this book invites us to make surprising choices that can help us get unstuck. Rather than offering more ways to effect change through sheer effort, these personal stories serve as a compassionate witness, a reflection of our own perfectionistic tendencies. They also are a wakeup call jolting us out of our martyr mentality and inspiring us to move in new, positive directions. Through simple, accessible coaching practices, You Don't Owe Anyone shows us what it looks like to refuse to over-function in the old ways. It invites us to make the same surprising choices that have helped McGraw and her clients move past perfectionism, empowering us to quiet our fears and heal our hearts.