The Onion's Finest News Reporting

The Onion's Finest News Reporting

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2000

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 0609804634

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The Onion is the world's most popular humor periodical. Its first book, Our Dumb Century, was a New York Times #1 best-seller and winner of the 1999 Thurber Prize for American Humor. Now The Onion returns with Volume One of the paper's greatest, most hard-hitting stories, including: --Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia: Operation Vowel Storm Will Make Countless Bosnian Names More Pronounceable --Jesus Christ Returns to NBA --Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes --I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippy Owner by Thunder the Ferret


Our Dumb Century

Our Dumb Century

Author: Scott Dikkers

Publisher: Crown

Published: 1999

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 0609804618

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The Onion has quickly become the world's most popular humor publication, misinforming half a million readers a week with one-of-a-kind social satire both in print (on newsstands nationwide) and online from its remote office in Madison, Wisconsin. Witness the march of history as Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and The Onion's award-winning writing staff present the twentieth century like you've never seen it before.


The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed

Author: The Onion Staff

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2011-10-25

Total Pages: 148

ISBN-13: 1594745420

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Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.


The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

Author: The Onion

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2012-10-23

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 031613323X

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Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.


Dispatches from the Tenth Circle

Dispatches from the Tenth Circle

Author: Robert Siegel

Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.

Published: 2001

Total Pages: 178

ISBN-13: 0609808346

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"The Onion is laugh-out-loud, go-tell-your-friends, get-angry-you-didn't-think-of-it funny." -Conan O'Brien "Outside of maybe Dario Fo, an Italian who few are sure exists, the Onion people make the most consistently perfect and excoriating social commentary we currently have. But will those Nobel bastards honor them, too? Only God, our merciless and just God, knows." -Dave Eggers "The funniest publication in the United States." -The New Yorker "This publication is tasteless and destructive to our shared values. Read it for yourself and you'll see what I mean. Seriously, what else could make me laugh-much less laugh uproariously-while being offended week after week after week?" -Al Gore "The Onion is the funniest thing in news since Dan Rather's spooky stare." -Matt Groening "Brutal satire that rushes into the far reaches of race, class, sexuality, and culture where many publications-and critics-fear to tread." -Chicago Tribune "The Onion, unlike any other entity in our media culture, offers a refreshingly honest look at our complicated life." -Ken Burns


Our Dumb World

Our Dumb World

Author: The Onion, Inc.

Publisher: Little, Brown

Published: 2008-10-27

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 9780316018432

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OUR DUMB WORLD is the world's most comprehensive fake atlas: a repository of all known information about the planet Earth (except where covered by clouds). In late 2007 the hardcover edition became one of the hottest books of the holiday season, entertaining and offending hundreds of thousands of readers around the globe. This new, easy-to-carry paperback edition is perfect for the intrepid traveler to any of the world's exotic locales--from Afghanistan, "Allah's Cat Box," to Ukraine, "the Bridebasket of Europe," to the USA's own Nevada, "Where Everyone's a Loser." Packed with beautiful full-color maps and framed with inaccurate essays about all the world's peoples and places, OUR DUMB WORLD is a gut-busting send-up in which no nation escapes unscathed. "Bottom line: laughed my head off." --Deirdre Donahue, USA Today


Buried Onions

Buried Onions

Author: Gary Soto

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 172

ISBN-13: 9780152062651

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When nineteen-year-old Eddie drops out of college, he struggles to find a place for himself as a Mexican American living in a violence-infested neighborhood of Fresno, California.


The Tenth Muse

The Tenth Muse

Author: Judith Jones

Publisher: Anchor

Published: 2008-12-24

Total Pages: 292

ISBN-13: 0307498255

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A memoir by the legendary cookbook editor who was present at the creation of the American food revolution and played a pivotal role in shaping it • “Engrossing. . . . The Tenth Muse lets you pull up a chair at the table where American gastronomic history took place.”—O, The Oprah Magazine Living in Paris after World War II, Jones broke free of bland American food and reveled in everyday French culinary delights. On returning to the States she published Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. The rest is publishing and gastronomic history. A new world now opened up to Jones as she discovered, with her husband Evan, the delights of American food, publishing some of the premier culinary luminaries of the twentieth century: from Julia Child, James Beard, and M.F.K. Fisher to Claudia Roden, Edna Lewis, and Lidia Bastianich. Also included are fifty of Jones's favorite recipes collected over a lifetime of cooking-each with its own story and special tips. “Lovely. . . . A rare glimpse into the roots of the modern culinary world.”—Chicago Tribune


The Trump Leaks

The Trump Leaks

Author: The Editors of the Onion

Publisher: Harper Design

Published: 2017-10-24

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 9780062834263

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The Onion, the nation's sole beacon of truth in an era besieged by darkness and lies, has fearlessly published hundreds of classified documents obtained from an anonymous whistleblower deep within the Trump White House. From top secret national security briefings hand-colored in crayon by President Trump, to encrypted e-mails sent by Kremlin operatives, to Vice President Pence's impure thoughts about the Morton Salt girl, the earth-shattering revelations contained within The Trump Leaks are all but certain to topple the president and alter the very arc of global history. With this soon-to-be Pulitzer-winning work of investigative reportage, America's Finest News Source has selflessly provided the world with its first and only glimpse inside the hidden workings and tortured minds of the Trump Administration.


Frenchtown Summer

Frenchtown Summer

Author: Robert Cormier

Publisher: Laurel Leaf

Published: 2009-05-27

Total Pages: 129

ISBN-13: 030755628X

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Eugene is remembering the summer of 1938 in Frenchtown, a time when he began to wonder “what I was doing here on the planet Earth.” Here in vibrant, exquisite detail are his lovely mother, his aunts and uncles, cousins and friends, and especially his beloved, enigmatic father. Here, too, is the world of a mill town: the boys swimming in a brook that is red or purple or green, depending on the dyes dumped that day by the comb shop; the visit of the ice man; and the boys’ trips to the cemetery or the forbidden railroad tracks. And here also is a darker world–the mystery of a girl murdered years before. Robert Cormier’s touching, funny, melancholy chronicle of a vanished world celebrates a son’s connection to his father and human relationships that are timeless.