If the latest research on genetics is correct two hundred years from now the last blonde will be living in Finland and blondes (in their non-chemically enhanced state) will have disappeared, which gives us, males a rather tight deadline to make the most of the situation, pass round some jokes and ponder on the dismal state the world will be in once there are no more blondes! From quick-fire, short jokes to long, complex tales on blondes Ed Sullivan's lifelong collection of blonde jokes leaves few stones unturned and even fewer areas untouched when it comes to milking a situation for fun. All of which is an excellent reason to open up this eBook, fire up our email and fill up the inbox of friends and relatives with some truly hilarious stuff.
Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian. This book is sure to tickle your funny bone-- and make you the life of the party!
"There are three and only three rules for shoplifting," Francie instructed me. From the very first day Val meets the outrageously blond Francie, she realizes that Francie has the gutsy courage and determination Val has always envied. But Francie sees something in Val too—something that Val's never noticed. "You've got that sneaky thing about you," she says. "I bet you have a dark past." And just like that, the blonde and the brunette become partners in crime. Thanks to Francie, Val is suddenly taking risks, taking charge, and taking what she deserves. But as the stakes get higher, Francie and Val find themselves more and more tangled in a thrilling web of love, lies, and shoplifting. Soon it becomes clear that the darkest secrets have yet to be discovered. . . .
Make Your Family or Friends Laugh With These Funny Jokes About Blondes! Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write "flip" on both sides of a sheet of paper! Everyone loves to laugh. That is why '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' is the perfect gift book. To treat yourself, or surprise a loved one. This collection of Dumb Blonde Jokes will have you (and your friends) rolling on the floor with laughter! Why You Should Get Your Copy Of '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' In this book, you will find: - 100+ Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes - 30+ Funny Illustrations This joke book is a great gift idea if you want to spend more quality time with your friends, or simply want to have a good laugh! BUY: '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes' Sample Jokes Will You Find Inside: Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "I wonder if it's mine." *** A blonde went to buy a pizza. After ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please, " she said, "I could never eat twelve!" *** Three blonde girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train. *** Buy '101 Hilarious Dumb Blonde Jokes', and you will get access to all the other jokes. Finally, as a FREE & EXCLUSIVE BONUS, you're also getting 11 super funny jokes from my popular book '101 Hilarious Yo Momma Jokes.' So, are you ready for the funniest dumb blondes jokes you have ever come across? Take action now! Scroll to the top of this page and click the 'Buy Now' button.
Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many "dumb blonde" jokes--always about women? Or how Ivanhoe's childhood love, the"flaxen Saxon" Rowena, morphed into Marilyn Monroe? Between that season in 1847 when readers encountered Becky Sharp playing the vengeful Clytemnestra--about to plunge a dagger into Agamemnon--and the sunny moment in 1932 when moviegoers watched Clark Gable plunge Jean Harlow's platinum-tressed head into a rain barrel, the playing field for women and men had leveled considerably. But how did the fairy-tale blonde, that placid, pliant girl, become the "tomato upstair," as Monroe styled herself in The Seven Year Itch? In I'm No Angel: The Blonde in Fiction and Film, Ellen Tremper shows how, at its roots, the image of the blonde was remodeled by women writers in the nineteenth century and actors in the twentieth to keep pace with the changes in real women's lives. As she demonstrates, through these novels and performances, fair hair and its traditional attributes--patience, pliancy, endurance, and innocence--suffered a deliberate alienation, which both reflected and enhanced women's personal and social freedoms essential to the evolution of modernity. From fiction to film, the active, desiring, and sometimes difficult women who disobeyed, manipulated, and thwarted their fellow characters mimicked and furthered women's growing power in the world. The author concludes with an overview of the various roles of the blonde in film from the 1960s to the present and speculates about the possible end of blond dominance. An engaging and lively read, I'm No Angel will appeal to a general audience interested in literary and cinematic representations of the blonde, as well as to scholars in Victorian, women's, and film studies.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The NBA according to The Sports Guy—now updated with fresh takes on LeBron, the Celtics, and more! Foreword by Malcom Gladwell • “The work of a true fan . . . it might just represent the next phase of sports commentary.”—The Atlantic Bill Simmons, the wildly opinionated and thoroughly entertaining basketball addict known to millions as ESPN’s The Sports Guy, has written the definitive book on the past, present, and future of the NBA. From the age-old question of who actually won the rivalry between Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain to the one about which team was truly the best of all time, Simmons opens—and then closes, once and for all—every major pro basketball debate. Then he takes it further by completely reevaluating not only how NBA Hall of Fame inductees should be chosen but how the institution must be reshaped from the ground up, the result being the Pyramid: Simmons’s one-of-a-kind five-level shrine to the ninety-six greatest players in the history of pro basketball. And ultimately he takes fans to the heart of it all, as he uses a conversation with one NBA great to uncover that coveted thing: The Secret of Basketball. Comprehensive, authoritative, controversial, hilarious, and impossible to put down (even for Celtic-haters), The Book of Basketball offers every hardwood fan a courtside seat beside the game’s finest, funniest, and fiercest chronicler.
