The Island of Broken Biscuits
The Island of Broken Biscuits

Author: Peter Goulding

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2015-09-22

Total Pages: 306

ISBN-13: 1326428780

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In the Waterways Department of the Irish Government, an employee discovers that his last four Hobnobs have been stolen. At approximately the same time, twenty miles away, twenty three packets of Rich Tea biscuits have been lifted from a supermarket in Ashbourne. This is unprecedented in Irish and, indeed, world history. Chief Inspector Jacobs, who had helped to solve the infamous Chocolate Digestive theft of 1994, is summoned to solve the crime before the social order crumbles. Can Jacobs wrap up the case and drag Ireland back from the brink of anarchy? How do they get the figs into the fig rolls? And what is the lighthouse thing about? The Island of Broken Biscuits is a comic novel set over five days. It holds the World Record for mentions of Custard Creams (55) and has been rejected by many, many publishers.

Bosoms bared - poems to read poolside
Bosoms bared - poems to read poolside

Author: Peter Goulding

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2013-08-29

Total Pages: 111

ISBN-13: 1291541845

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The 125 poems contained in this collection were written on sunbeds on five different sun holidays and are about the experience of going on a sun holiday. They are intended to be read while on a sun holiday. Of course you can read it over the Christmas holidays if you prefer, or on the bus into work. Your call. Some of the poems are funny, some are reflective, some stray into the area of black humour. Most of them are crap. That's life.

The arse end of the year
The arse end of the year

Author: Peter Goulding

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2018-01-11

Total Pages: 160

ISBN-13: 0244061254

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A look at the season of Christmas and winter through the medium of light verse, 'The Arse End of the Year' chronicles the build up to the festive season, the solstice, the day itself and the post-Christmas slothfulness, together with aspects of the cold and dreary winter season so beloved by, well, not many people actually. From the reindeer shaped blips on the air traffic controllers' screen, to the disappearing cheese portions; from forgetting auld acquaintance to the difficulty of burying dead bodies in frosty weather, Peter Goulding gives us a uniquely personal insight into the season in his inimitable style, not that many people would want to imitate it.

Dining with Milton and Bunyan and other comic verse
Dining with Milton and Bunyan and other comic verse

Author: Peter Goulding

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2018-01-05

Total Pages: 164

ISBN-13: 0244659826

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Peter Goulding's fourth, or maybe fifth, (who's counting?) book of comic verse again delves the murky depths of the poet's imagination. There are still plenty of poems about murdering his wife and disposing of her body but there are darker poems too - the proliferation of tomatoes on Jupiter, the birth of Princess Charlotte and his critiques of the counties of Tipperary and Offaly, to name but four. His mind, which, to be frank, would be put to much better use, learning a trade or simply vegetating, is again employed solving many of the world's problems in rhyming couplets, villanelles and other fiendish weapons of mass destruction. Comes with a cultural health warning.

My gal got eaten by a grizzly bear (and other uplifting poems of the Wild Wild West)
My gal got eaten by a grizzly bear (and other uplifting poems of the Wild Wild West)

Author: Peter Goulding

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2015-10-15

Total Pages: 114

ISBN-13: 1326448994

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It is a very rare publication that features an author who has absolutely no knowledge of the subject about which he is writing. From his safe suburban armchair in Dublin, Ireland, Peter Goulding has watched countless westerns featuring square-jawed heroes who have battled impossible odds to defeat injuns, outlaws and stampeding cattle. Based on these films and to the abject horror of the literary community, he has written numerous poems of questionable merit about life in the wild west (and indeed in the wild, wild west) and has decided to publish them in this slim volume. From botched gunfights to piles, from eating horses to losing children, this book of vaguely comic vignettes describes a side to the wild west (and indeed the wild, wild west) that probably never existed outside of the author's head.

My Magic Islands
My Magic Islands

Author: Judith M. Brady

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2014-03-13

Total Pages: 67

ISBN-13: 1493132210

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Judith grew up with family on the islands and Brisbane. Adult life took her around the world to experience living in Lae, New Guinea, Manila capital of the Philippines, Jakarta capital of Indonesia, and in the United Kingdom for six months. Retirement has brought her back to her islands enabling this memento of history to be recorded.

The Keys to the Street
The Keys to the Street

Author: Ruth Rendell

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2011-09-07

Total Pages: 376

ISBN-13: 0307801144

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From Edgar Award-winning author Ruth Rendell, quiet, pretty Mary Jago could never have suspected that a series of unspeakable murders in the park contained threads that tangled around her simple, ordinary life. Set near London's Regent's Park, where the city's wealthiest, poorest, kindest, and most vicious citizens all cross paths, The Keys to the Street reminds us how interconnected life can be and how we're often surrounded by people that we fail to see. Mary generously donates her bone marrow to save the life of a young man she doesn't know, which will change her life forever. It leads to her bitter break up with Alistair and then to a relationship with the young man whose life she saved, Leo Nash. But when the homeless who seek refuge in the park start turning up murdered and impaled on the spiked railings that surround it, Mary is closer to danger than she ever could have imagined.

Wacky Eire
Wacky Eire

Author: Geraldine Comiskey

Publisher: Liberties Press

Published: 2012-09-01

Total Pages: 232

ISBN-13: 1907593683

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Welcome to Wacky Eire - it's stranger than fiction. Imagine RTÝ's Nationwide crossed with the cult series Eurotrash, or BBC's Country File mixed with Father Ted . . . Now imagine it as a book of true stories, written by an insider who has travelled the length and breadth of Ireland seeking out the weird, the wacky, the raunchy and the downright shocking . . . this is Wacky Eire. In this hilarious account on modern Irish life, Sunday World journalist Geraldine Comiskey takes the reader on an outrageous romp through the real Ireland - where ancient traditions and modern obsessions make lively bedfellows and where people will constantly surprise you. From naughty farmers, animal antics and dodgy faith-healers to secret swingers and strippers, from scandalous exposés to charming vignettes of rural life, Wacky Eire is the naked face of modern Ireland.

Candy and the Broken Biscuits (Candypop, Book 1)
Candy and the Broken Biscuits (Candypop, Book 1)

Author: Lauren Laverne

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

Published: 2010-05-27

Total Pages: 10

ISBN-13: 0007374909

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A fabulously funny Rock Chick -lit series for teens from uber-cool celeb Lauren Laverne. Tune in for a hyper-real rollercoaster ride to Glasto and beyond!