The Funniest People in Sports
The Funniest People in Sports

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2005-08-01

Total Pages: 66

ISBN-13: 0595366740

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"The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes About Sports" contains such anecdotes as the following: Umpire Beans Reardon once made a mistake. Richie Ashburn slid into second base and Billy Cox attempted to tag him. Beans yelled 'Safe," but at the same time he flung his arm in the 'Out" gesture. Mr. Ashburn asked, 'What the hell does that mean?" Mr. Reardon replied, 'Richie, you know you're safe. Billy, you know he's safe. But 30,000 fans see my arm. Richie, you're out." Figure skater Rosalynn Sumners has a tendency to put on weight. When she was skating for Disney, her contract required her to be weighed each week, and if she was three pounds over her desired weight, Disney fined her $10. After a while, Ms. Sumners began to stand on the scales each week with a $10 bill in her hand.

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods
The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2006-11

Total Pages: 239

ISBN-13: 1430300302

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This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2015-03-18

Total Pages: 120

ISBN-13: 9781312999015

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Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about sports, including this one: As an 11-year-old, gymnast Shannon Miller finished second (behind Wendy Bruce) in the all-around competition in the Alamo Classic. Afterward, the pre-teen Shannon signed autographs for her adoring fans. In fact, when her father, Ron, went up to talk to her, other parents grew angry at him because they thought he was cutting in line.

William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream": A Retelling in Prose
William Shakespeare's

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2014-08-23

Total Pages: 110

ISBN-13: 1304718514

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This is an easy-to-read retelling of William Shakespeare's ""A Midsummer Night's Dream,"" whose major theme is love and the silly things it makes us do: 1) Love can make us see a distinction where no real distinction exists. 2) Love can make us desire someone who is totally unsuitable for us. 3) Love can make us blind to the loved one's faults. 4) Love can make us jealous. 5) Love can make friends enemies. 6) Love can make us quarrelsome. 7) Love can make us fickle. 8) If we are rejected, love can make us have low self-esteem (e.g., Helena). 9) Love can make us chase after someone who hates us. 10) Love can make us attempt to use reason to explain love although love is a nonrational emotion. (Lysander does this.) 11) Love is not irrational, although it can make people act in silly ways. Love is nonrational. 12) One of the best comments on the nonrationality of love is made by Bottom: "And yet, to say the truth, reason / and love keep little company together nowadays."

The Funny Side of Sports
The Funny Side of Sports

Author: Michael Pellowski

Publisher: Sterling

Published: 1996

Total Pages: 100

ISBN-13: 9780806938929

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Sports are full of funny people who say sidesplitting things, mostly without meaning to. Enjoy hundreds of the biggest laughs in sports with this collection that features the stars and the misfits of baseball, football, basketball, hockey, and all the other places where zany things happen in the name of competition. 96 pages, 25 b/w illus., 5 3/8 x 8 1/4.