The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse
The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2023-10-10

Total Pages: 278

ISBN-13: 0316566977

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Tom Holt’s brilliantly funny new novel set in the world of The Portable Door (now a delightful movie starring Patrick Gibson, Sophie Wilde, and Christoph Waltz). The team of commercial sorcerers at Dawson, Ahriman & Dawson can help with any metaphysical engineering project, large or small (though by definition they all tend to be pretty large). They can also create massive great puddles of chaos that might one day swallow up the entire universe. Take, for example, the decision to recruit a certain bearded fellow whose previous work experience mainly involves reindeer and jingle bells. It might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but is he really the best person to save the world from Tiamat the Destroyer, who has literally gone ballistic? For more from Tom Holt, check out: An Orc on the Wild Side The Management Style of the Supreme Beings The Good, The Bad, and the Smug The Outsorcerer's Apprentice When It's a Jar Doughnut Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages Blonde Bombshell

Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?
Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2009-11-05

Total Pages: 185

ISBN-13: 0748113819

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'Brilliantly funny.' - DAILY MAIL 'Witty and eccentric... dazzling, neat, frivolous.' - TIME OUT The last Norse king of Caithness, Hrolf Earthstar and his 12 champions are woken from a centuries-long sleep when an archaeologist finds their grave. He decides to carry on his ancient war against the Sourcerer-King, and must face such perils as BBC film crews and the Bakerloo line along the way. From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Expecting Someone Taller
Expecting Someone Taller

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 167

ISBN-13: 0316233420

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All Malcolm Fisher did was run over a badger. Unfortunately the badger turned out to be Ingolf, last of the giants. With his dying breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm two gifts of power and made him ruler of the world.

May Contain Traces of Magic
May Contain Traces of Magic

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 368

ISBN-13: 0316233358

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There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage moldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of it. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not-not the ones that contain traces of magic. Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never talked back to him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defense, that was her job. But when "Take the next right" turned into "Excuse me," that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a GPS isn't a GPS-sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.

The Portable Door
The Portable Door

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 0316233293

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THE PORTABLE DOOR is the first novel set in the magical offices of J. W. Wells. Now a majorly fantastical movie starring Sam Neill, Christoph Waltz, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author Starting a new job is always stressful (especially when you don't want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J. W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. He is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is a front for a deeply sinister organization. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse
The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher:

Published: 2023-10-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780316566964

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The riotously funny novel set in the world of THE PORTABLE DOOR, now a movie starring Christoph Waltz and Sam Neill For more from Tom Holt, check out: An Orc on the Wild Side The Management Style of the Supreme Beings The Good, The Bad, and the Smug The Outsorcerer's Apprentice When It's a Jar Doughnut Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages Blonde Bombshell

Flying Dutch
Flying Dutch

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 213

ISBN-13: 0316233161

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Mild-mannered accountant Jane Doland must track down Vanderdecker, a magically immortal Dutch sea captain who, along with his crew, has been circling the globe for four hundred years.

Nothing But Blue Skies
Nothing But Blue Skies

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2009-11-05

Total Pages: 285

ISBN-13: 0748113789

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'Uniquely twisted ... cracking gags' - Rob Grant, THE GUARDIAN 'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - MAIL ON SUNDAY There are very many reasons why British summers are either non-existent or, alternatively, held on a Thursday. Many of these reasons are either scientific, dull, or both - but all of them are wrong, especially the scientific ones. The real reason why it rains perpetually from January 1st to December 31st (incl.) is, of course, irritable Chinese Water Dragons. Karen is one such legendary creature. Ancient, noble, near-indestructible and, for a number of wildly improbable reasons, working as an estate-agent, Karen is irritable quite a lot of the time. Hence Wimbledon. But now things have changed and Karen's no longer irritable. She's FURIOUS. An hilarious comic fantasy novel from the most inventive writer in the field - revealing, for the first time, why it's always raining! Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 325

ISBN-13: 0316233331

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A novel set in the magical offices of The Portable Door, now a majorly fantastical film starring Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, and Miranda Otto. “Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times bestselling author J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is, in fact, a deeply sinister organization with a mighty peculiar management team. Paul thought he was getting the hang of it – particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague, Sophie – but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Our love-struck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings. The J.W. Wells & Co. Series: The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Other titles from Tom Holt: Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side Holt Writing as K. J. Parker: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City How To Rule An Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

Someone Like Me
Someone Like Me

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher:

Published: 2006-01

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9781845055691

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In a world torn apart by hatred and fear, only the strongest will survive. Nobody knows where they came from. Nobody knows what they want. The creatures are killing humans for meat and nobody, it seems, can stop them. Now one man - a hunter by trade - has trapped one of the creatures. Under the ground, they face each other. And only one of them will get out alive.