They Called Me God

They Called Me God

Author: Doug Harvey

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2014-03-25

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 1476748810

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The incredible memoir from the man voted one of the “Best Umpires of All Time” by the Society of American Baseball Research—filled with more than three decades of fascinating baseball stories. Doug Harvey was a California farm boy, a high school athlete who nevertheless knew that what he really wanted was to become an unsung hero—a major league umpire. Working his way through the minor leagues, earning three hundred dollars a month, he survived just about everything, even riots in stadiums in Puerto Rico. And while players and other umps hit the bars at night, Harvey memorized the rule book. In 1962, he broke into the big leagues and was soon listening to rookie Pete Rose worrying that he would be cut by the Reds and laying down the law with managers such as Tommy Lasorda and Joe Torre. This colorful memoir takes you behind the plate for some of baseball’s most memorable moments, including Roberto Clemente’s three thousandth and final hit; the heroic three-and-two pinch-hit home run by Kirk Gibson in the ’88 World Series; and the nail-biting excitement of the ’68 World Series. But beyond the drama, Harvey turned umpiring into an art. He was a man so respected, whose calls were so feared and infallible, that the players called him “God.” And through it all, he lived by three rules: never take anything from a player, never back down from a call, and never carry a grudge. A book for anyone who loves baseball, They Called Me God is a funny and fascinating tale of on- and off-the-field action, peopled by unforgettable characters from Bob Gibson to Nolan Ryan, and a treatise on good umpiring techniques. In a memoir that transcends the sport, Doug Harvey tells a gripping story of responsibility, fairness, and honesty.


The Best Seat in Baseball, But You Have to Stand!

The Best Seat in Baseball, But You Have to Stand!

Author: Lee Gutkind

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2014-03-11

Total Pages: 283

ISBN-13: 1480471364

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DIVDIVA fascinating and revealing look inside the lives of umpires, from the godfather of creative nonfiction/divDIV In 1974, Lee Gutkind walked into Shea Stadium, then home of the New York Mets, with an unusual proposal. He wanted to chronicle one of the least celebrated cadres in professional baseball: the umpires. Gutkind spent one exhilarating season traveling with the officiating crew he found that day—Doug Harvey, Nick Colosi, Harry Wendelstedt, and Art Williams, the first African American umpire in National League history. Gutkind’s narrative reveals much about the peculiarities of the men charged with the “thankless and impossible task of invoking order”—their work ethic, fallibility, and perhaps most strikingly, their pride./divDIV As resonant today as when it was first published, The Best Seat in Baseball, But You Have to Stand! is an engrossing story of the men who work on one of the nation’s biggest stages, their victories and their failures, and their inner worlds that are rarely—if ever—explored./divDIV/div/div


The Umpire Is Out

The Umpire Is Out

Author: Dale Scott

Publisher: U of Nebraska Press

Published: 2022-05

Total Pages: 260

ISBN-13: 1496232046

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Dale Scott's career as a professional baseball umpire spanned nearly forty years, including thirty-three in the Major Leagues, from 1985 to 2017. He worked exactly a thousand games behind the plate, calling balls and strikes at the pinnacle of his profession, working in every Major League Baseball stadium, and interacting with dozens of other top-flight umpires, colorful managers, and hundreds of players, from future Hall of Famers to one-game wonders. Scott has enough stories about his career on the field to fill a dozen books, and there are plenty of those stories here. He's not interested in settling scores, but throughout the book he's honest about managers and players, some of whom weren't always perfect gentlemen. But what makes Scott's book truly different is his unique perspective as the only umpire in the history of professional baseball to come out as gay during his career. Granted, that was after decades of remaining in the closet, and Scott writes vividly and movingly about having to "play the game": maintaining a facade of straightness while privately becoming his true self and building a lasting relationship with his future husband. He navigated this obstacle course at a time when his MLB career was just taking off--and when North America was consumed by the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Scott's story isn't only about his leading a sort of double life, then opening himself up to the world and discovering a new generosity of spirit. It's also a baseball story, filled with insights and memorable anecdotes that come so naturally from someone who spent decades among the world's greatest baseball players, managers, and games. Scott's story is fascinating both for his umpiring career and for his being a pioneer for LGBTQ people within baseball and across sports.


The Umpire Strikes Back

The Umpire Strikes Back

Author: Ron Luciano

Publisher: Permuted Press

Published: 2022-04-26

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 1637583796

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Here is Ron Luciano, the funniest ump ever to call balls and strikes. A huge and awesome legend who leaps and spins and shoots players with an index finger while screaming OUTOUTOUT!!! Now baseball's flamboyant fan-on-the-field comes out from behind the mask to call the game as he really sees it. There’s the day the automatic umpire debuted at home plate—and struck out. The time Rod Carew stole home twice in one inning, and Earl Weaver stole second base—and took it back to the dugout. The pitch Tommy John dropped on the mound, which Luciano called a strike. And there’s the fantastic phantom double play, the impossible frozen ice-ball theory, and, another first, Luciano picking Harmon Killebrew off second base. From brawls to catcalls, from dugout jokes to on-the-field pratfalls to one-of-a-kind conversations with baseball’s greats, Ron Luciano, the only umpire who confessed to missing calls, takes a few grand slam swings of his own. It is baseball at its best.


Nobody's Perfect

Nobody's Perfect

Author: Armando Galarraga

Publisher: Open Road + Grove/Atlantic

Published: 2011-06-02

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 0802195598

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The Detroit Tigers, an umpire, a pitcher, and a mistake—one of the “classic, human, baseball stories” (Ken Burns, creator of the PBS mini-series Baseball). The perfect game is one of the rarest accomplishments in sports. In nearly four hundred thousand contests in over 130 years, it has happened only twenty times. On June 2, 2010, Armando Galarraga threw baseball’s twenty-first. Except that’s not how it entered the record books. That’s because Jim Joyce, voted the best umpire in the game in 2010 and 2011, missed the call on the final out. But rather than throwing a tantrum, Galarraga simply turned and smiled, went back to the mound, and finished the game. “Nobody’s perfect,” he said later in the locker room. “You might think everything that could have been said, replayed, and revealed about that night has already been uttered, logged, and exposed. You would, however, be as wrong as the unfortunate Mr. Joyce” (The Detroit News). In Nobody’s Perfect, Galarraga and Joyce come together to tell the personal story of a remarkable game that will live forever in baseball lore, and to trace their fascinating lives in sports. The result is “a masterpiece”, an absorbing insider’s look at two careers in baseball, a tremendous achievement, and an enduring moment of pure grace and sportsmanship (The Huffington Post).


Best Joke Book Ever

Best Joke Book Ever

Author: Charles Keller

Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 104

ISBN-13: 9781402723735

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Watch out--more than 600 of the world's funniest jokes and most hilarious cartoons are about to attack your funny bone--and you won't be able to stop giggling! Who could resist these?Judge: I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in my court again.Prisoner: I told the policeman, but he didn't believe me. First friend: They say you become what you eat.Second friend: Let's order something rich. Doctor, I feel funny today--what should I do?Become a comedian. These jokes are sure to be tops with class clowns everywhere.


Planet of the Umps

Planet of the Umps

Author: Ken Kaiser

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2004-04-19

Total Pages: 292

ISBN-13: 9780312997106

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In this hysterical autobiography, Major League Baseball umpire Ken Kaiser brings to life his twenty-five years on the baseball diamond.


Strike Two

Strike Two

Author: Ron Luciano

Publisher: Macmillan Reference USA

Published: 1985

Total Pages: 414

ISBN-13: 9780816137725

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The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young

Publisher: CreateSpace

Published: 2012-03-29

Total Pages: 106

ISBN-13: 9781475119954

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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Umpire jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Umpire joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Umpire jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Umpires wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured an Umpire and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Umpire brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Umpire who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Umpires laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.


The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever!

The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever!

Author: Editors of Portable Press

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2020-09-01

Total Pages: 208

ISBN-13: 1645175030

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Your friends and family will be laughing—and groaning—each time you send one of these zingers their way! Every kid’s joke-abulary will skyrocket with The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever! We’ve combined our four best-selling joke books into this special hardcover collection, and added some new jokes too! Hundreds of knock-knock jokes, one-liners, puns, and other groaners make this a must-have for any aspiring class clown. Family jokes, animal jokes, and gross-out jokes for every occasion are waiting for you in this book of silliness!